OB visit 38w3d

So I got another pat on the shoulder and told not to worry about having a baby next week while my doctor is gone!!! No change, just a growing baby. I was just looking at pictures of tiny little quads and thinking about the giant baby I am going to have. I can't imagine holding those tiny little things! Won't be a problem here!

So no change in my cervix at all but at least they liked my blood pressure this week. This morning I woke up with terribly swollen fingers and I told them. I felt like my fingers were going to pop while I was at work and I was really worried about what my blood pressure might be. So, since I am surrounded by equipment to monitor vital signs I took my bp a few times today and for the love of God! The highest I got was 117/62! It was only slightly higher than that when I was at the doctors office 118/70. So not going to get induced for that! That is alright I still have a lot to do at work. The problem is that we are so short right now that I am having to work really hard. Not good. I get so stinking tired, but my body seems to be holding up! I just can't bend over and I can hardly reach anything anymore because my belly is so stinking big. (just ask my mother)

I have been an emotional wreck this week. I came home from work two hours late yesterday because I was trying to get some things done just in case I was given restrictions today. As I was driving home I started feeling horribly guilty about being gone from work to be off with my baby! I needed my head examined! Then I felt overwhelmed with guilt that I wanted to put work a head of my own child. So then I started crying and it just kept happening from there. I came in the house and my husband was really crabby and so I cried. I went and got dinner for him and then I needed to go buy some cards but I couldn't find the list of what I needed to buy so I cried to forty-five minutes! Today was one coworker's last day and next Saturday is another one's last day. I like both very much and I wanted to get them cards and a memento of some sort, but it proved to be too difficult for me last night. So I went after being told the boy ain't coming out today instead.

Then last night I went to bed and struggled to read for awhile. I got up to go to the bathroom one more time and that is when my husband came home from visiting his parents. He had some pictures on his phone that he showed me. A stray puppy showed up at his parent's house as he was trying to leave. The puppy was skinny and dehydrated and had a bloated tummy. She was whimpering and exhausted. Mike gave her some water and tried to give her something to eat. He gave her a little attention and she laid down at his feet and let him scratch her shoulders and she feel dead asleep like babies do. Mike said she was pretty young. He called the police to get her to the Humane Society and he actually ended up meeting the policeman there with her. The thing about her was that she looked exactly like my Molly did when I got her. So that got me crying again. She also melted the heart of my big grouchy husband as well. Even though he gives my dog a hard time it really tugged at his heart how much she looked like my dog and how she trusted him so quickly. He actually wanted to bring her home! He said he wished we lived on a farm or acreage and he would have brought her home. He felt bad leaving her and went to check on her today. He has yet to buy one thing for his son, but he took a bag of puppy food and a toy to the pound today.

I actually don't feel ready for Jake to come. Some how I doubt I will ever be ready, but I found myself hoping for another week. I still enjoy watching him and he makes me very uncomfortable a lot but I still want him in there. I have things I need to do. Mike has a lot of things he needs to do! I just know the longer he stays in there the harder it will be for him to come out. My doctor won't consider talking about induction yet. Not until after next week and I'm not scheduled to see him again until the 24th. Next week I will be seeing the midwife at their office so I will be interested to see what she says.

So, I guess I keep going to work. I keep coming home exhausted. And I keep trying to get crap done around the house! My doctor did remind me that I told him way back at the beginning that I thought we would have to tell Jake to come out or at least he was going to stay in a long time. He also said I was right that I was going to have a big baby. Some how being right this time doesn't feel good.