Happy New Year

Okay, I have been a delinquent blogger and I felt like I needed to get my total up to 75 for the year so just a few words. Happy New Year to everyone. I hope this next year brings you at least as much love and joy as this past year.

I have been trying to update the look of my blog, but darn it all if I'm not an idiot! I have tried a few times and I can't get it to all work right. I can't even pretend to be good at that stuff. I can barely muster to add the littlest extra thing. I may give up and PAY for help. I know that is bad because I am cheap!

Everyone keep blogging because I miss you all! I love to see your little ones faces and hear about the latest things in your/their life. I understand it is hard to find time. I haven't been good myself. I have managed to have a tremendous amount of time off this month and I LOVE it. Next week is going to be hard because it is the first week, I think, that I will have to work 5 days since the week after Thanksgiving! We will be experiencing significant cutbacks at work and I am actually hoping that I will get some of my hours cut. I can't believe it and I really can't afford it but I would absolutely love it. I feel so much better when I get to spend more time with Jake (even though he is really being a pill today!). I know that isn't a good thing - the economy taking a dump and all, but I am a happier Mommy! It will work out, I know it.

My poor boy or not

I felt horribly guilty leaving my baby at daycare today to go to work. He sounded horrible. I brought him into our bed about midnight and he propped himself up on my pillow to sleep. Right in the middle of my pillow pushing me completely off. But he sounded terrible to listen to him. I kept thinking I should take him to the hospital or at least blow the nebulizer by him as he slept. But I didn't. Instead I tried to contort myself into an impossibly small space and crazy angles. There would have been more room if I had moved over to the middle of the bed but I didn't want him on the outside. I kept moving him over but he moved himself right back. I wanted him to sleep so I suffered.

So mommy started the day tired. Mike actually got up and helped me get Jake ready this morning which was awesome. I appreciated his help so much. I got a shower and Mike got him a breathing treatment. He sounded terrible. I kept expecting to get a call at work today telling me I needed to come get him. He never had a fever. His cough is unproductive. Most of his coughing is right after he wakes up. But he sounds bad just to hear him breathe and he is so raspy and hoarse. He was also a bit on the lethargic side this morning.

Some point in the day that seemed to change however and he turned into a little spit fire! He was just into everything once we got home would not cooperate (ha! he is a toddler!) at all. I was getting very frustrated. He wanted a snack but he didn't want whatever I gave him. He was thirsty and asked for juice but didn't want it. He wanted up; he wanted down. I just didn't know what to do for him. He hadn't pooped all day so he of course saved up for me. I took him in and changed him and made a mess of myself. I set him on his bedroom floor and went into my bathroom to wash myself up. When I came out I found him in the kitchen.

He had pulled a brand new box of garbage bags Mike bought today off the kitchen counter and onto the floor. (now why they are on the counter is another story since that isn't where they go and if Mike had looked there he would have found a box more than half full). He was quite proud of himself as noted by the smile in this picture.Behind him was this pile of bags on the floor. As I started cleaning them up, he was shaking and shaking a bag and he walked over to the garbage and threw it away. So I went over to the garbage and found at least half a dozen more brand new bags he threw away!

So I tried to feed him dinner when he kept telling me he was hungry. He wouldn't eat anything I tried to give him. So I took him out of his chair. He came into the living room and played. He kept walking over by the Christmas tree and he started moving around the few packages we have left under the tree. He balanced them up on end. I was impressed. We have been playing with blocks a lot and he was carrying the concept across. I have a genius, I am thinking. So I got up to get the camera. When I get back he is finally ripping into packages the way I wanted him to on Christmas. But these aren't his and now I have to re wrap. Oh well, it could be worse. I let him finish once he started because I have to wrap them again anyway, right?

So it is getting late enough that I am hungry and I make myself a quesadilla with smoked turkey and raspberry jalapeno jam. I thought it sounded good and it was, but Jake now wanted some. Well, he couldn't have any. Aside from the jalapenos I have all that cheese. He doesn't understand that. He just know you won't give him any food. So I put him in his chair and got him more food. He played with it and asked for food. He threw it on the floor and asked for food. He ended up eating baby food prunes and a few pretzels and I think that is it. He really didn't need the prunes, but he likes them. So he went straight from the high chair to the tub.

I was so frustrated. I got him ready for bed and we sat in the recliner and he longingly rub his "booboos" and kept trying to get his hand into my bra and eventually passed out. Then I remember I didn't give him a breathing treatment so I now feel guilty!

Mike took this picture yesterday. You can still see where he fell and split his chin open 3?weeks ago. You can still see traces of where he tripped over a toy and gave himself a shiner.

Here was fun with applesauce on Saturday. Below you can see I actually captured when the little devil sneaks out and I understand why he does the things he does!!

What? Not again already!

Jake is teething again. I didn't think it was possible but I guess I was wrong. He has been drooling a lot and cranky (he's cranky a lot) and sticking his fingers in his mouth all the time. Well, Mike kept saying it had to be more teeth. I stuck my finger in his mouth today and I was shocked to feel another molar. The other three are rearing their ugly heads too. That brings us to Jake age, gulp, 16 months (already?) and having 17 teeth!!! I have asked a couple of dentists and they both said that even though he got baby teeth early his permanent teeth shouldn't come early. I hope that is true. I don't want a great big man with itty bitty teeth! Jake has a bad cough and I think his throat is sore. He sure sounds like his adenoids are swollen right now. Poor baby! I have been giving him frequent breathing treatments because the cough is bad. He doesn't have a fever or a runny nose though.

Well, we flunked our first week of weaning. I got really sick on Tuesday and Mike convinced me I should nurse so I could get some sleep that night. I did and then the rest of the week was shot. However, he hasn't nursed since last Sunday. It is harder now that he doesn't feel good. He is really whining but he stops and will take a bottle. Okay, so we did give him a bottle back. He has been off a bottle for several months and that wasn't a big deal at all. So I gave that back in order to save myself. He only gets it when he would have nursed so it is just pretty much at night or before his nap when we are home for nap time. He seems to be doing pretty well. I'm pretty uncomfortable however. This bcp doesn't seem to be helping like I was told it would. Hopefully it will hope get my body straightened out though. I have really been hearing a voice in the back of my head saying "when will we try for #2?" I know it is getting closer. I still wish I could spend more time just soaking Jake up. He is just changing so fast. He isn't a baby anymore and, God help me, I do want to go through that again. But I have to get my body straightened around some so I can even try. I talked to an OB this week and was told we may have to start off with clom.id this time. We'll see. We aren't there quite yet. I'm still going to be excited about the weaning at the moment and wait and see if my body starts cooperating.

Happy New Year's to everyone!

Happy Holidays!

I have to say "happy holidays" since Christmas has already past. That is something I don't say often because I much prefer to say to recognize Christmas. Anyway, I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Ours went pretty well. We had a few glitches and I had a few near murder experiences but all in all it was great. Mike made it home in the early hours which we didn't think would happen so we were just so happy he could be with us. Jake had a bad night Christmas Eve and was pretty tired most of Christmas day. I was a little disappointed that he wasn't more excited. I was really hoping he would rip into his presents this year, but he didn't. I'm sure he will next year though. He was funny. I would open something and he would carry it away so that a grandparent could remove the item from the packaging. Then he would look at it and move on. He likes flashlights and both grandpa and daddy gave him one of his very own!

My mother decided that she would start feeding Jake marshmallows (she asked me after he was hooked). He knew they were up there and was asking for "cracker". He says "cracker" when he is hungry. He will identify some foods when he sees them but "cracker" means FEED ME!

He thought this pan liner was another of his instruments. He walked around blowing and blowing on it!

He got a recorder from Santa and he loved it. He figured it out right away. He also decided this big box was one of his toys and a place to take a rest. He wouldn't take a nap but he kept crawling up on this box and putting he cheek down and tucking his arms and legs under him with his butt sticking up in the air. It was cute, but when you tried to take him to bed... Well it didn't work.

Look at this smug face! This is Mike's first self portrait with my new Christmas present. He acted like it was a surprise that I was getting a camera. I seem to remember it more like a threat. You will get me a new camera or I will...

Jake got a guitar from Santa and he loved it. He is totally into everything musical. It amazes us to see him dance every time he hears music. I mean because he just does it. It isn't something he was taught. As if we didn't know, our little boy has a mind of his own!

Our new Christmas tree with ornaments hung just above little hand level. He did well with the tree for the most part. I had one ornament broken because it was too low and he pulled the tinsel off just once before any ornaments were put on the tree.

Grandma and Grandpa got him a chair with his name on it. He wants to climb up into it himself only he can't quite do it. I see this as a problem for awhile. He is going to pull this over onto himself trying to get into it or out of it until he gets a little bigger. He already has a shiner from whacking his eye with a toy last week and he keeps splitting his lip open. We can't get one thing healed up before he injures himself again. He sure is a toddler taking on the world!

He was staking his crackers on the top of his juice cup. It was funny and yippee!! he is finally drinking apple juice!

He is really into putting things on his head and walking around right now. Hmm, did I mention black eye and many split lips? But for Pete's sake don't tell him no and take it away!

We went to a Christmas parade back at Thanksgiving time. He can barely move in his winter coat. I think it might fit next year!

Whew

Things have been... well, I don't know. The end of the year is the busiest time of year for surgery. People want to get things taken care of they have put off. They have met their deductibles and so they need to have their surgeries. They may need to use their time off before the end of the year or they will lose it. One thing we see is that it is farmer or rancher and it is the off season so they get their backs fixed or their hernias fixed or their Lap.Bands placed. Whatever, it is nuts. We are each supposed to be cutting our hours and watching the clock but then we are expected to stay late all the time. Whatever. We got an email that told us in this time of recession the costs to provide health care are up and the revenues are down so as of the first of the year there will be a significant increase in the cost of health insurance. In the next paragraph it said they didn't know when they could consider giving us cost of living, let alone market raises. This wouldn't be so bad if the hospital hadn't just bought the majority of the doctors' practices and the free standing surgery center that has already put so much turmoil in our lives. Great. When they did this they decided to redo all the marketing for the hospital. Every sign, every single paper, all the pamphlets, EVERYTHING had to be changed. They changed EVERY clock in the hospital so that they have the new logo. There are more than twenty clocks in just my department. I can come up with 25 without thinking hard. But there is no money for raises and they don't know when there will be. Really.

Anyway so that has been a bit stressful. Mike has been working insane hours. He has been averaging 23 hours or less home and 24 hours gone. He used to be home 36 hours or so. He is a person that needs his sleep too. It is nothing for him to sleep twelve hours or more at a time. I can't tell you what I would do to get eight or even six! It has been hard with daddy being gone so much. Jake sure does love his daddy!

However, last week I finished all my tests. I took my specialty certification test. I had been trying to study everyday some for a long time and I have been trying to take care of the house. It was the hardest test I have ever taken in my life. It was much harder than the test I took to get my nursing licence. In some ways that makes sense since it is supposed to mean that you are highly proficient at a particular specialty so the focus is much more narrow than all of nursing. I knew it would be difficult but I wasn't expecting it to be quite that difficult. The good thing was that I got to take it here in town. That is a very recent change. I thought I was going to have to go about 3.5 hours away which makes it a lot more challenging. I was worried about the weather and it was bad the day of test. I was able to take Jake to daycare and then I tried to relax for a bit and I drove about five miles across town and that was it. Thankfully it even told me right then and their that I passed. THANK GOD!!! I don't want to go through that again. It was very expensive and time consuming. But I did learn a lot. I learned a lot of things that I wish I had learned years ago. I will say that I believe my years of experiences really helped on the test at least as much as the studying. But I did learn a lot. I got a lot of validation. Too bad I don't also get a raise!! It does look good for the hospital to have a good percentage of certified registered nurses.

On to the important things. Jake is just growing by leaps and bounds. He is a nut. He is so chatty. I don't know what he says most of the time but he talks nonstop. He is into saying "hot" right now but it is how he says it that is so funny. I know he is saying it like I say it to him when I don't want him to touch something hot. It is just so funny. He has slept through the night three out of the last six nights. He hasn't slept through the night in FOREVER!!! Tonight is our biggest challenge. Jake got to nurse this morning, but no more. It is apparent that he has no intention of giving up nursing anytime soon and I just can't do it anymore. Fifteen and a half months is a long time right??? I need to be done. I also need the regular bcp that I started on Saturday or might need to start blood transfusions soon. I hear crying. I guess tonight isn't going to be one of the nights he makes it!