I did a lot better this week than I thought I would. Today is the first day I have really been sad and I think some of that is because I feel so awful. I got a flu shot on Wednesday and I have had a terrible headache, my neck and back are killing me, achy all over and a little bit of a fever. Jake on the other hand, has been pissed or passed out. He has had a fever since yesterday late afternoon and he has been mad. His legs really seemed to hurt yesterday but they don't seem to bother him much today. He woke up at 5 and we went back to sleep in the chair in the living room. Obviously we didn't get up for practice today. I had already decided we wouldn't since he was going to be getting his shots. Anyway, he ate again about 8 and we went and got in my bed. We only got up at 10 because the phone rang.
He went back to sleep a little after noon and slept until after three. He cried a lot when he was awake and then was half way happy when he got up. We actually got to see him smile and he played with his toys some. He was still pretty warm though. He is being a little pistol about taking the Tylenol. He sucked it down when he was getting it in the hospital. Now he just spits it out as fast as you get it in there. He immediately gets his had up to his mouth so he spreads it all over his hands and face and into what he has for hair. Thank goodness it is the dye-free kind!
Now I can't get him to go back to sleep. I am so tired and just want to go to bed myself. I still have to pump and take care of the dogs. He is relatively content watching television right now, but I don't want to leave the house and it is too chilly to take him out. Mike finally went to work again so he isn't home. I miss him already. My mom is coming tomorrow. She was coming so I could finish getting the things I wanted to get done while on leave done. The things I have barely started. But I think I may be trying to sleep instead if I don't feel any better. She will be happy either way to be taking care of her grandson. Hopefully he is feeling better tomorrow. This was one of my very favorite pictures by the way. The people I love most in this world together. They both look so sweet!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Shots!!!
Our doctor's appointment went well except for the shots. I'm so glad Mike was home today to drive us home because I was still crying when we left. He has been stuck so many times and had many shots already w
hen most "normal" babies have what just had vit K, hep B if you consent, and a heel stick or two right? I can't remember if there are any other pokes in the land of perfect l&d and baby. His cry of pain just makes my heart break!
Other than that everything went well. Jake has tapered down into the 75th percentiles or so on everything. He is 24 inches long, 12 lbs 6 oz, and his head is 16 1/8 inches. So no huge changes since last time. We were guessing he was a little over 12 pounds but we weren't sure how much. She confirmed that my child is sensitive and takes after me in that unfortunate way. She told me to slather up his cradle cap with some baby oil. I don't think I have said that he has eczema on his elbows before. A spot popped up on his knee yesterday, poor little guy. She said he should out grow all these horrible things. He has this spot on his gum that I think is looking better that she is a bit concerned about. She also thought his frenulum is tight. Well, it seems that it is a bit late to first be worried about that now. I think it looks great for my family. Most of my family was tongue tied to some degree. None of my nephews got theirs clipped and his is WAY better than all of the boys. My mom and aunts I think all got clipped, but my sister and I were okay. I'm not worried about it. He moves his tongue around a lot so he will stretch it out.
Jake is not happy though. I gave him his Tylenol before we left the office and he was asleep before we made it to the car. He has fussed, whimpered, bawled pretty much since we got home. Poor guy! He pretty much wants to stay attached to the breast all the time, but most of it is just comfort sucking. Type of the little man, his daddy woke him up with the mower.
hen most "normal" babies have what just had vit K, hep B if you consent, and a heel stick or two right? I can't remember if there are any other pokes in the land of perfect l&d and baby. His cry of pain just makes my heart break!Other than that everything went well. Jake has tapered down into the 75th percentiles or so on everything. He is 24 inches long, 12 lbs 6 oz, and his head is 16 1/8 inches. So no huge changes since last time. We were guessing he was a little over 12 pounds but we weren't sure how much. She confirmed that my child is sensitive and takes after me in that unfortunate way. She told me to slather up his cradle cap with some baby oil. I don't think I have said that he has eczema on his elbows before. A spot popped up on his knee yesterday, poor little guy. She said he should out grow all these horrible things. He has this spot on his gum that I think is looking better that she is a bit concerned about. She also thought his frenulum is tight. Well, it seems that it is a bit late to first be worried about that now. I think it looks great for my family. Most of my family was tongue tied to some degree. None of my nephews got theirs clipped and his is WAY better than all of the boys. My mom and aunts I think all got clipped, but my sister and I were okay. I'm not worried about it. He moves his tongue around a lot so he will stretch it out.
Jake is not happy though. I gave him his Tylenol before we left the office and he was asleep before we made it to the car. He has fussed, whimpered, bawled pretty much since we got home. Poor guy! He pretty much wants to stay attached to the breast all the time, but most of it is just comfort sucking. Type of the little man, his daddy woke him up with the mower.
Time flies...
when you are having fun! I am so glad that I took as much time as I could off with 
Jake. I was so pissed that I "lost" that first week with him being in NICU. I felt like my time with my baby was being stolen. That is after we knew he was going to be fine and we were just there for his eating.
We have come so far from this "little" guy here. We thought he was so cute then and he was, but we think he is so much cuter now. We love that he interacts with us. That he looks at you and not just past you. I love that he doesn't always wake up screaming and I can go to his crib and as soon as he sees me he gives a giant
gummy smile. I love that he smiles and giggles when we play. I love that we can play.
So anyway, my little Peanut was eight weeks old yesterday! I can't believe it at all. We got ourselves up early and got ready like we have been all week. It is still gong well. We were too early again yesterday so I slept a bit later today, until 0412!! The major problem there is that yesterday I came home after our little drive and took a nap while Jake was still sleeping. I was scared driving yesterday because I could hardly keep my eyes open. I suppose when I get to work and get moving I will wake right up.
I am doing a lot better this week than I did last week. I know I have to go back and I am just trying to get everything in this week that I can. All the smiles, giggles, poopy diapers, screams, etc that I can. Overall, Jake really is a pretty happy baby. He has been fussy and I have definitely messed up how he would like to sleep with waking him up at 5 am. Some mornings now he doesn't want to take a nap at all. He might go back to sleep until seven and not take a nap until noon or even two. Then some days he doesn't want to sleep in the afternoon. We are certainly not on a routine. It w
ould drive my sister nuts! I'm just going with what Jake seems to need right now. He eats when he is hungry and sleeps when he seems to need to sleep. I need for him to sleep in the afternoon for sure and I try for about 2-4 but that doesn't always work. I'm not sure how that is going to work when I am picking him up after I get off work at 3. I'm really going to want to see those blue eyes then. I will probably want a nap then also. Maybe we will have to lay down together!
I called my OB office yesterday because I was feeling so much better last week an
d now I am not. I was concerned that maybe I was having a problem. My pain went away pretty much altogether by the end of last week. I thought that maybe it was associated with the medication I was having to take and that since the pain came back maybe I was having another problem. The PA I saw last week is gone all this week so I couldn't talk to her or see her, but I talked to her nurse and she talked to the call Dr. They said it was just a coincidence that the pain was better and not related to the other issue. The Dr said with the severity of the anterior tear I
had it might be 3 or 4 MORE months before I am healed and the pain is better. I wasn't expecting that. That didn't make me very happy either, not to mention my husband. We have made one effort to be "romantic" and it didn't go all that well. It involved a lot of fear, a fair amount of pain, and some crying. How enjoyable can that be for him?
So, I will try and put some numbers up later after our Dr visit. I just knew I had some time to write now, even if I did have to stop to change a diaper, breast feed, and get a little boy back to sleep. You can almost tell in this last picture that I took this morning that Jake's hair is starting to grow back. He now has a layer of fuzz maybe a 1/4 of an inch long. It is hard to tell if it is any lighter than the dark dark hair he was born with. It is just too fine. The old man hair along the back of his head has almost all fallen out now, but he had a few hairs that stayed on the top of his head and they are at least an inch to an inch and a half long so the are funny looking. I keep thinking they will fall out, but I may have to give up and trim them!
Jake. I was so pissed that I "lost" that first week with him being in NICU. I felt like my time with my baby was being stolen. That is after we knew he was going to be fine and we were just there for his eating.We have come so far from this "little" guy here. We thought he was so cute then and he was, but we think he is so much cuter now. We love that he interacts with us. That he looks at you and not just past you. I love that he doesn't always wake up screaming and I can go to his crib and as soon as he sees me he gives a giant
gummy smile. I love that he smiles and giggles when we play. I love that we can play.So anyway, my little Peanut was eight weeks old yesterday! I can't believe it at all. We got ourselves up early and got ready like we have been all week. It is still gong well. We were too early again yesterday so I slept a bit later today, until 0412!! The major problem there is that yesterday I came home after our little drive and took a nap while Jake was still sleeping. I was scared driving yesterday because I could hardly keep my eyes open. I suppose when I get to work and get moving I will wake right up.
I am doing a lot better this week than I did last week. I know I have to go back and I am just trying to get everything in this week that I can. All the smiles, giggles, poopy diapers, screams, etc that I can. Overall, Jake really is a pretty happy baby. He has been fussy and I have definitely messed up how he would like to sleep with waking him up at 5 am. Some mornings now he doesn't want to take a nap at all. He might go back to sleep until seven and not take a nap until noon or even two. Then some days he doesn't want to sleep in the afternoon. We are certainly not on a routine. It w
ould drive my sister nuts! I'm just going with what Jake seems to need right now. He eats when he is hungry and sleeps when he seems to need to sleep. I need for him to sleep in the afternoon for sure and I try for about 2-4 but that doesn't always work. I'm not sure how that is going to work when I am picking him up after I get off work at 3. I'm really going to want to see those blue eyes then. I will probably want a nap then also. Maybe we will have to lay down together!I called my OB office yesterday because I was feeling so much better last week an
d now I am not. I was concerned that maybe I was having a problem. My pain went away pretty much altogether by the end of last week. I thought that maybe it was associated with the medication I was having to take and that since the pain came back maybe I was having another problem. The PA I saw last week is gone all this week so I couldn't talk to her or see her, but I talked to her nurse and she talked to the call Dr. They said it was just a coincidence that the pain was better and not related to the other issue. The Dr said with the severity of the anterior tear I
had it might be 3 or 4 MORE months before I am healed and the pain is better. I wasn't expecting that. That didn't make me very happy either, not to mention my husband. We have made one effort to be "romantic" and it didn't go all that well. It involved a lot of fear, a fair amount of pain, and some crying. How enjoyable can that be for him?
So, I will try and put some numbers up later after our Dr visit. I just knew I had some time to write now, even if I did have to stop to change a diaper, breast feed, and get a little boy back to sleep. You can almost tell in this last picture that I took this morning that Jake's hair is starting to grow back. He now has a layer of fuzz maybe a 1/4 of an inch long. It is hard to tell if it is any lighter than the dark dark hair he was born with. It is just too fine. The old man hair along the back of his head has almost all fallen out now, but he had a few hairs that stayed on the top of his head and they are at least an inch to an inch and a half long so the are funny looking. I keep thinking they will fall out, but I may have to give up and trim them!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Practice
(
Boy, I look at these pictures now and I was having a serious static problem with the scanner because they are crooked!)
So this morning we did the full deal. I was up by 0350. I got each of the dogs out uneventfully. I got a shower without any problem. I had to work a bit to get Jake to wake up to eat. I was able to get him to sleep by 830 last night and he woke up at about 130 and I think and I had us both back to bed by 2. I set Jake back in his bed after he ate while I pumped and he finally woke up. He poohed of course and was now awake. I got him changed and dressed and even got him to eat a little longer. I went out and started the car. It was less than 30 degrees out and there was frost on my windshield and I wanted to warm the car up some before I took the baby out. Actually I was waffling as to whether I would take Jake out of the house or not. Mike is home and I could leave him sn
ug in his crib or I could take him out in the cold with me. I elected to take him with me just in case. So I put a little sweatshirt on him and got him in his car seat. He just looked up at me with his sweet eyes. I just can't get over how cute he is! So I loaded him up in the car and we drove to daycare. I got into the car at 523 and we drove past daycare at 533. So we were a little early! The door isn't unlocked until 555 I was told but the lady in Jake's room was already there. So we went to the grocery store and grabbed a few things so I can make breakfast for Mike and then we drove back by the daycare and took the same route home. The clock said 559 when I turned the car off. We did pretty well. But everything went very smoothly. Jake was cooperative because he didn't know what the heck was going on. The dogs were just happy to make it out before 10am and I wasn't dragging because I haven't been working all week. I climbed in my bed at 915 last night and I read for 20 minutes. 
I doubt I will be able to get to bed as early every night. I did wake up a couple of times a little dazed and confused.
The thing that I thought was interesting was how many more cars were out by the time we were driving home. Obviously we don't know what traffic problems are here. It might take an extra five minutes to get around when kids are getting dropped off and picked up at school and from 5-6 pm but that is about it. You have to worry more about how long you might be stopped at the railroad tracks depending upon how many you have to cross to get to work in the morning. But still, we saw about ten cars on the way at 530 and about fifty when we were driving home from daycare. I just thought that was interesting to see what a difference just a few minutes makes.
So the question is, am I going to get up any later tomorrow morning? I might give myself five more minutes just in case things don't run as smoothly. I think we will do the full deal - driving to daycare and all each - each morning this week just to keep getting used to it. I didn't get upset this morning which I am glad. Yesterday I cried about 6 times I think, maybe more. I told Mike that the next few weeks were going to rough and I'm sorry, but there will be a lot of crying and he is just going to have to get used to it!
If I have to be up and working by this time, why can't more places be open? We have a list of errands and tasks we need to accomplish this week and it sure would have been nice to get to some of those places this morning!
Boy, I look at these pictures now and I was having a serious static problem with the scanner because they are crooked!)So this morning we did the full deal. I was up by 0350. I got each of the dogs out uneventfully. I got a shower without any problem. I had to work a bit to get Jake to wake up to eat. I was able to get him to sleep by 830 last night and he woke up at about 130 and I think and I had us both back to bed by 2. I set Jake back in his bed after he ate while I pumped and he finally woke up. He poohed of course and was now awake. I got him changed and dressed and even got him to eat a little longer. I went out and started the car. It was less than 30 degrees out and there was frost on my windshield and I wanted to warm the car up some before I took the baby out. Actually I was waffling as to whether I would take Jake out of the house or not. Mike is home and I could leave him sn
ug in his crib or I could take him out in the cold with me. I elected to take him with me just in case. So I put a little sweatshirt on him and got him in his car seat. He just looked up at me with his sweet eyes. I just can't get over how cute he is! So I loaded him up in the car and we drove to daycare. I got into the car at 523 and we drove past daycare at 533. So we were a little early! The door isn't unlocked until 555 I was told but the lady in Jake's room was already there. So we went to the grocery store and grabbed a few things so I can make breakfast for Mike and then we drove back by the daycare and took the same route home. The clock said 559 when I turned the car off. We did pretty well. But everything went very smoothly. Jake was cooperative because he didn't know what the heck was going on. The dogs were just happy to make it out before 10am and I wasn't dragging because I haven't been working all week. I climbed in my bed at 915 last night and I read for 20 minutes. 
I doubt I will be able to get to bed as early every night. I did wake up a couple of times a little dazed and confused. The thing that I thought was interesting was how many more cars were out by the time we were driving home. Obviously we don't know what traffic problems are here. It might take an extra five minutes to get around when kids are getting dropped off and picked up at school and from 5-6 pm but that is about it. You have to worry more about how long you might be stopped at the railroad tracks depending upon how many you have to cross to get to work in the morning. But still, we saw about ten cars on the way at 530 and about fifty when we were driving home from daycare. I just thought that was interesting to see what a difference just a few minutes makes.
So the question is, am I going to get up any later tomorrow morning? I might give myself five more minutes just in case things don't run as smoothly. I think we will do the full deal - driving to daycare and all each - each morning this week just to keep getting used to it. I didn't get upset this morning which I am glad. Yesterday I cried about 6 times I think, maybe more. I told Mike that the next few weeks were going to rough and I'm sorry, but there will be a lot of crying and he is just going to have to get used to it!
If I have to be up and working by this time, why can't more places be open? We have a list of errands and tasks we need to accomplish this week and it sure would have been nice to get to some of those places this morning!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Not yet!
We had a rough night last night. It doesn't surprise me since Jake did seem to feel well yesterday. I'm not even sure how long or how many times I had to go settle him down last night before he went to sleep. Mike's sister came over and the two of them were being kind of noisy and it didn't help my process. His sister didn't leave until about eleven and my goal was to be in bed before ten. It was probably nine thirty before I got Jake settled in.
He woke up about two forty I think and it took two hours to get him happy enough to go back to sleep. I was so tired and stressed by the time that was all accomplished. I got in bed and I think I cried for half an hour before I fell asleep. I don't know how I am going do everything and be sane. I am not ready to go to work and give my baby to someone else. I don't have a choice. And I am really worried about our financial picture. Mike has really been getting yanked around at work again and his income is so terrible. We sat and talked the other night about if he were to do it all over again would he go to engine school or not. He doesn't think he would. I asked him where the friend was that stopped by on Thursday was on "the list" as far as going to school and Mike wasn't sure. They talked about it and Mike told him that if he really wants to drive the train then he should go, but if he wants to do it for job security like Mike did or if he wants to do it for higher earning potential than don't do it It isn't worth it. So far that is very very true.
I am getting headaches again. I would guess it is because I am stressing and maybe a little bit to do with hormones. I am so glad my headaches were better during my pregnancy. Thank God that was one thing that went my way! My skin is going to hell again and I would guess it is more of the same. I think that is so funny. Frustrating, but funny. My skin was the best it has ever been while I was pregnant.
I am so tired. If I can get Jake to go to sleep for more than ten minutes I might take a nap. I haven't even been able to get a shower yet today. The only thing I have been able to accomplish was to get the dishwasher unloaded. I guess I turned the dryer on too since it is still full of clothes I washed yesterday. They are going to be lovely! I need to get cleaning... Plus Mike and I need to get outside. It is supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow and we have leaves all over. The problem is maybe a tenth of our leaves have fallen. We have a lot of big trees with a lot of leaves.
I was planning on going to church tomorrow since I have only taken Jake once, but I'm not sure if I can do it. If it looks like I am going to be able to sleep I don't think we will go. Monday we have to start getting up before four so hopefully by the following Monday we can have our mornings figures out. I think I smell a dirty diaper on this little boy wiggling in my lap!
He woke up about two forty I think and it took two hours to get him happy enough to go back to sleep. I was so tired and stressed by the time that was all accomplished. I got in bed and I think I cried for half an hour before I fell asleep. I don't know how I am going do everything and be sane. I am not ready to go to work and give my baby to someone else. I don't have a choice. And I am really worried about our financial picture. Mike has really been getting yanked around at work again and his income is so terrible. We sat and talked the other night about if he were to do it all over again would he go to engine school or not. He doesn't think he would. I asked him where the friend was that stopped by on Thursday was on "the list" as far as going to school and Mike wasn't sure. They talked about it and Mike told him that if he really wants to drive the train then he should go, but if he wants to do it for job security like Mike did or if he wants to do it for higher earning potential than don't do it It isn't worth it. So far that is very very true.
I am getting headaches again. I would guess it is because I am stressing and maybe a little bit to do with hormones. I am so glad my headaches were better during my pregnancy. Thank God that was one thing that went my way! My skin is going to hell again and I would guess it is more of the same. I think that is so funny. Frustrating, but funny. My skin was the best it has ever been while I was pregnant.
I am so tired. If I can get Jake to go to sleep for more than ten minutes I might take a nap. I haven't even been able to get a shower yet today. The only thing I have been able to accomplish was to get the dishwasher unloaded. I guess I turned the dryer on too since it is still full of clothes I washed yesterday. They are going to be lovely! I need to get cleaning... Plus Mike and I need to get outside. It is supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow and we have leaves all over. The problem is maybe a tenth of our leaves have fallen. We have a lot of big trees with a lot of leaves.
I was planning on going to church tomorrow since I have only taken Jake once, but I'm not sure if I can do it. If it looks like I am going to be able to sleep I don't think we will go. Monday we have to start getting up before four so hopefully by the following Monday we can have our mornings figures out. I think I smell a dirty diaper on this little boy wiggling in my lap!
Friday, October 19, 2007
Pictures!
Today we went and ordered our pictures! Since we ordered so much we were able to buy the proofs for a "bargain" price and she will make us a CD too. We loved looking at the pictures on her web site but it is a hundred times better to be able to touch them and look at them.
We were all pretty tired and cranky. We had a really busy day yesterday and we were all cranky then. A friend wanted to come over last night because she hadn't been able to meet Jake yet. Our husbands grew up together and we came to work together. She doesn't work with me any more but we can still be friends as long as I don't tell anyone at work. (sad isn't it!!!) Anyway, they came to see us in the hospital while Jake was in the NICU so they didn't get to see him. I have been sending her pictures of him but we haven't been able to meet up. She has been having to take care of her sick grandpa and stuff. But she really wants to have a baby and her husband wants kids, someday. So I don't blame her for not trying harder to get here. I might be wrong about that, but I know how that feels to never be "the one." Now I am and I don't want her to feel bad. My husband is trying to work on her husband though.
So Jake was up later than usual. He ate and feel asleep so I put him to bed. I had wanted to give him a bath because he really needed one but it was already so late and he was cranky. I was trying to get some stuff done and the next thing I knew he was crying. I went in to check on him and he was extremely wet of course. I changed him and he was wide awake and smiling. So I decided it would be easier to give him a bath last night than this morning before we left. So we did. Mike loves to help. He takes him and dries him when I am done washing and they are just so cute together. Anyway, it was well after midnight by the time I got myself to bed and the alarm was set for 6. At least I got a little more sleep last night than I did the night before. Mike went to bed after I did. He is so sore from our trying to work out that he can hardly move.
Jake isn't acting like himself. I don't think he feels very well. Last night he was cranky and fussy and he is again today. He doesn't have a fever. He isn't congested. His nose isn't running. He doesn't have diarrhea and isn't constipated. He did spit up last night and that is only the fourth time I have seen him do that, but it was spit up, not vomit. He isn't coughing but he is just not himself. He is crying really easily and it doesn't seem to matter what you do. Anyway, this drive down and back wasn't as easy as the first one. I just hope Jake doesn't get sick. It makes me uneasy since we have been around a lot of extra people this week.
So we spent about a million dollars today, but we got a lot of Christmas presents! I'm glad no one in our family is complaining about getting pictures for Christmas. This is the third year in a row they have gotten professional photos from us. They all want them!
I scanned in most of the proofs today and here are but a few. I was getting kind of sloppy with my scanning it looks like. I kept getting a lot of static on the scanner and they would go crooked. Anyway, here is a sampling. We did change one of the pictures on the birth announcement. Mike didn't like the picture of Jake's head. I think he was jealous of all of Jake's hair and actually looking back now, he had lost some already. We put a close up of one of his hands on my hand there instead. We thought it balanced out with the feet on the other side. I just love her work. It was so hard to make a decision. I made an appointment for Jake's six month pictures with her too and Mike's eyes almost popped out of his head. I informed him we aren't getting anything like what we got this time! Some wallets, at least one 8x10 for ourselves and some 5x7s next time. We will have to wait and see if I hold myself to that. I think I will have too. I would like the proofs again but I don't know what she charges for them if you don't spend so much money. I will have to find out. Now I am trying to decide what picture to put in the newspaper for his birth announcement there. Both our parents have pestered us about that. I said we wanted to use a professional photo instead of one of ours because they always look so much better in our paper. They are all just so excited to brag and have everyone see their grandson and have people make comments to them about seeing him in the paper. I am glad they are all so excited!
We were all pretty tired and cranky. We had a really busy day yesterday and we were all cranky then. A friend wanted to come over last night because she hadn't been able to meet Jake yet. Our husbands grew up together and we came to work together. She doesn't work with me any more but we can still be friends as long as I don't tell anyone at work. (sad isn't it!!!) Anyway, they came to see us in the hospital while Jake was in the NICU so they didn't get to see him. I have been sending her pictures of him but we haven't been able to meet up. She has been having to take care of her sick grandpa and stuff. But she really wants to have a baby and her husband wants kids, someday. So I don't blame her for not trying harder to get here. I might be wrong about that, but I know how that feels to never be "the one." Now I am and I don't want her to feel bad. My husband is trying to work on her husband though.
So Jake was up later than usual. He ate and feel asleep so I put him to bed. I had wanted to give him a bath because he really needed one but it was already so late and he was cranky. I was trying to get some stuff done and the next thing I knew he was crying. I went in to check on him and he was extremely wet of course. I changed him and he was wide awake and smiling. So I decided it would be easier to give him a bath last night than this morning before we left. So we did. Mike loves to help. He takes him and dries him when I am done washing and they are just so cute together. Anyway, it was well after midnight by the time I got myself to bed and the alarm was set for 6. At least I got a little more sleep last night than I did the night before. Mike went to bed after I did. He is so sore from our trying to work out that he can hardly move.
Jake isn't acting like himself. I don't think he feels very well. Last night he was cranky and fussy and he is again today. He doesn't have a fever. He isn't congested. His nose isn't running. He doesn't have diarrhea and isn't constipated. He did spit up last night and that is only the fourth time I have seen him do that, but it was spit up, not vomit. He isn't coughing but he is just not himself. He is crying really easily and it doesn't seem to matter what you do. Anyway, this drive down and back wasn't as easy as the first one. I just hope Jake doesn't get sick. It makes me uneasy since we have been around a lot of extra people this week.
So we spent about a million dollars today, but we got a lot of Christmas presents! I'm glad no one in our family is complaining about getting pictures for Christmas. This is the third year in a row they have gotten professional photos from us. They all want them!
I scanned in most of the proofs today and here are but a few. I was getting kind of sloppy with my scanning it looks like. I kept getting a lot of static on the scanner and they would go crooked. Anyway, here is a sampling. We did change one of the pictures on the birth announcement. Mike didn't like the picture of Jake's head. I think he was jealous of all of Jake's hair and actually looking back now, he had lost some already. We put a close up of one of his hands on my hand there instead. We thought it balanced out with the feet on the other side. I just love her work. It was so hard to make a decision. I made an appointment for Jake's six month pictures with her too and Mike's eyes almost popped out of his head. I informed him we aren't getting anything like what we got this time! Some wallets, at least one 8x10 for ourselves and some 5x7s next time. We will have to wait and see if I hold myself to that. I think I will have too. I would like the proofs again but I don't know what she charges for them if you don't spend so much money. I will have to find out. Now I am trying to decide what picture to put in the newspaper for his birth announcement there. Both our parents have pestered us about that. I said we wanted to use a professional photo instead of one of ours because they always look so much better in our paper. They are all just so excited to brag and have everyone see their grandson and have people make comments to them about seeing him in the paper. I am glad they are all so excited!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Tired
I got up with Jake at three thirty this morning and I couldn't go back to sleep. The wind was howling something awful and I just had too much on my mind to sleep. We needed to make a MAJOR trip to the store today and so I had to wake Mike up early so it wouldn't be too awful at the store. It still was terribly crowded and I spent nearly three hundred dollars. I guess it doesn't pay to bring help! Mike is super crabby since I woke him up and he says it is me. We are a great pair today. I'm just trying to stay away from him.
Well, I went to the daycare on Monday. It was okay. They all seemed nice. Everything was clean. There were plenty of adults with the babies. Mine just seems a lot younger than the others and therefore I fear for his safety, kind of. Of course in ten years he won't be a lot younger than the others but right now 10 months and 7 weeks are light years different right? I wasn't happy to find out they changed how they bill and I have to cough up twice as much as I planned for his first day. Oh well, not anything I can do about that. I just don't want to have to leave him of course. The director had barely introduced me to the people in the nursery and they said this is your first baby isn't it. I think maybe it was the way I was clutching him for dear life. He will be fine, right?
Jake got to meet some more of his family last night. Mike's dad's only brother and his wife are here visiting. They aren't very Christianly super Christians. Doesn't make sense does it? You all know the people though. The people that think and tell you they are the best Christians but their actions say otherwise. I didn't know much about the aunt until I met her a number of years ago and I wasn't very found of her with in moments. I then later found out how terrible she has been to almost everyone in the family. It is sad. She has been very mean to Mike's mom for a long time and she is mean to his grandma and it gets me all puffed up. These people have given up by now and take it, but I'm still fresh in this game and am not having it! They will be here for just a few days so we can all make it. My husband laughed though that Jake cried as soon as he saw/heard her. He said Jake is an excellent judge of character.
I better go check on my little peanut. He was such a good boy during our shopping, but he was mighty hungry when we got home. I just love holding him. He is a total snuggler and I just love it. Plus it is 230 and I haven't eatten lunch yet. It feels like it should be bedtime!
Well, I went to the daycare on Monday. It was okay. They all seemed nice. Everything was clean. There were plenty of adults with the babies. Mine just seems a lot younger than the others and therefore I fear for his safety, kind of. Of course in ten years he won't be a lot younger than the others but right now 10 months and 7 weeks are light years different right? I wasn't happy to find out they changed how they bill and I have to cough up twice as much as I planned for his first day. Oh well, not anything I can do about that. I just don't want to have to leave him of course. The director had barely introduced me to the people in the nursery and they said this is your first baby isn't it. I think maybe it was the way I was clutching him for dear life. He will be fine, right?
Jake got to meet some more of his family last night. Mike's dad's only brother and his wife are here visiting. They aren't very Christianly super Christians. Doesn't make sense does it? You all know the people though. The people that think and tell you they are the best Christians but their actions say otherwise. I didn't know much about the aunt until I met her a number of years ago and I wasn't very found of her with in moments. I then later found out how terrible she has been to almost everyone in the family. It is sad. She has been very mean to Mike's mom for a long time and she is mean to his grandma and it gets me all puffed up. These people have given up by now and take it, but I'm still fresh in this game and am not having it! They will be here for just a few days so we can all make it. My husband laughed though that Jake cried as soon as he saw/heard her. He said Jake is an excellent judge of character.
I better go check on my little peanut. He was such a good boy during our shopping, but he was mighty hungry when we got home. I just love holding him. He is a total snuggler and I just love it. Plus it is 230 and I haven't eatten lunch yet. It feels like it should be bedtime!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
It continues...
Yesterday morning I finally went in to get my work schedule because I absolutely couldn't put it off any more. I have to go into the daycare tomorrow. I went in before 11am and it was a ghost a town. I couldn't believe it. This is my weekend so I thought I would see my weekend crew and there was no one in the OR at all. I found one nurse in the recovery room and she was doing house keeping chores for the department. When I work it isn't ever like that! That isn't fair at all. It was weird being there when it was so quiet and dark. I looked around and everything was the same but some how it made it even harder. There weren't people there to talk to to soften the blow of having to return. I tried to log on to the computer to check my email and I couldn't get on. My password had expired and I tried to change it, but apparently I couldn't remember it. Oh well, it can wait a bit longer. It didn't help that it rained all day yesterday, but I had a hard day. I kept crying. I don't want to go back. I want to be with my baby. Mike had to go to work last night and he now hates leaving the baby too. I can only imagine how hard it will be when we both are working. First thing when Mike comes home he goes for Jake. That's okay. I am trying to not think about it. I still have two weeks to enjoy with my little fella right?
That is the other thing. Jake is growing so fast! Mike and I were playing with him last night and he was smiling and giggling. We were trying to get a good picture of him but the stupid digital camera takes so long the really good face is gone by the time it takes the picture. You can still tell he was happy in both of these pictures though. Today I had to put away some of his clothes for the first time and that was hard. I decided it needed to be done yesterday but I was already sad so I couldn't do it. I put away things that he only had the opp
ortunity to wear once and I am sure some of the onesies he didn't get to wear. At least they were just plain white. I went through his clothes some and I need to finish tomorrow so I make sure that we are accessing all the clothes we need to be wearing now. I forgot about some of them. I really like dressing him like he is a little adult and not in goofy baby stuff. I'm just not into the cutsie stuff. We were given many gifts of things that aren't what I would pick and I put him in them anyway, but I cringe. He is finally wearing the sleepers with feet. I think they are so cute and he is so cute in them. He wouldn't tolerate his feet confined like that. I am worried about him staying warm enough. I just kept trying to get him to wear a sleeper in the day to get used to them and he finally did. I love my little boy so much. I do hope we will be able to see these little clothes again, someday.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Freak out today
I had my six week checkup today. I was working on a panic attack in the waiting room. I don't know why I was having all the feelings I was having. I was surrounded by pregnant girls and a couple of pregnant women. There was one other post partum patient and no one else. I don't know why it upset me so much that all these "women" (I would say most weren't 20 years old) were pregnant and I wasn't. Hello?? I DO have a newborn. I just suddenly wanted to be pregnant again. Crazy??? I would say so. I didn't understand at all.
I hardly had to wait at all, maybe five minutes. Not surprising because I was seeing a PA not an OB and she doesn't do their visits. I was so glad because I was about to climb the wall, go across the ceiling and make a run for it. I got weighed. Still not a good number, but exactly 20 lbs less than my very first OB visit and I had on a heavy shirt and jeans. I was hoping for a little more, but I'm not about to complain since I was expecting to be normal and gain weight with pregnancy. The nurse took me around the corner and I came face to face with the doctor that delivered me. Great! That didn't help my anxiety level. I don't ever want her to touch me again. Did I write that I ran into her last weekend when I was out shopping with my mom? She gave me a hug and told me she had been thinking about me a lot lately and particularly the day before because a rep brought them in a new vacuum. The new vacuum has more control and won't hurt babies like mine got hurt. Is this what I want to hear???
Anyway, I went into the exam room was about hyperventilating. The nurse took my blood pressure and although it was normal I had taken the day before it was a ton higher. You don't say? Well, the exam went better than I hoped. The PA assured me that I am not falling apart like it feels when I cough, laugh, or blow my nose and sometimes when I try to stand from a sitting position and I am holding my baby. I'm not healed all the way though and I have a yeast infection. I was surprised when she said that. I couldn't tell at all! I was embarrassed. She said it is common because of having to wear the damn diapers (I really don't like pads) for so long. My poor husband had been watching the calendar... He said he could wait another week. I just couldn't wait to get out of that office. I thought I was doing better with how things went, but I guess I haven't had enough time yet. I guess my emotional wounds are still to raw. I was told I needed to come back in January for my annual exam and I don't know if I will be able to do that. I think I may have to go to my family doctor. That is who I have usually gone to.
I compared the list I had made for birth announcements to my Christmas card list and they were almost the same. My charge nurse has a board where she puts pictures and I will give her one for that board and I think that pretty much counts for everyone in the department, with the exception of a few close friends. I had two different lists last year - the people I gave handmade cards and those I gave purchased cards. Only the handmade list is getting the photo announcements I decided. I can't post any of the pictures yet because the proofs are currently available to us through the photographer's website. I will put the birth announcement at the very least when we get it here. I would be happy to share the pictures if anyone really wants to look at them. You just need to email me and I will email you the site and the password. The pictures will only be available until next Saturday and then they are gone forever. That isn't true, we would just have to pay for another two weeks.
I got a little misty today. When I was getting Jake ready for bed tonight I decided that I am going to have to put away some of his 0-3 month clothes because he is too big. My little boy is growing so much! I have a container ready for his clothes in the basement and I just wonder if I will ever need them again. We really have nothing that is very unisex, probably less than 5% without potentially giving a girl a complex. Besides, I can see Daddy wanting to put a little princess in pink, lace, and bows. I was never that girl!
I hardly had to wait at all, maybe five minutes. Not surprising because I was seeing a PA not an OB and she doesn't do their visits. I was so glad because I was about to climb the wall, go across the ceiling and make a run for it. I got weighed. Still not a good number, but exactly 20 lbs less than my very first OB visit and I had on a heavy shirt and jeans. I was hoping for a little more, but I'm not about to complain since I was expecting to be normal and gain weight with pregnancy. The nurse took me around the corner and I came face to face with the doctor that delivered me. Great! That didn't help my anxiety level. I don't ever want her to touch me again. Did I write that I ran into her last weekend when I was out shopping with my mom? She gave me a hug and told me she had been thinking about me a lot lately and particularly the day before because a rep brought them in a new vacuum. The new vacuum has more control and won't hurt babies like mine got hurt. Is this what I want to hear???
Anyway, I went into the exam room was about hyperventilating. The nurse took my blood pressure and although it was normal I had taken the day before it was a ton higher. You don't say? Well, the exam went better than I hoped. The PA assured me that I am not falling apart like it feels when I cough, laugh, or blow my nose and sometimes when I try to stand from a sitting position and I am holding my baby. I'm not healed all the way though and I have a yeast infection. I was surprised when she said that. I couldn't tell at all! I was embarrassed. She said it is common because of having to wear the damn diapers (I really don't like pads) for so long. My poor husband had been watching the calendar... He said he could wait another week. I just couldn't wait to get out of that office. I thought I was doing better with how things went, but I guess I haven't had enough time yet. I guess my emotional wounds are still to raw. I was told I needed to come back in January for my annual exam and I don't know if I will be able to do that. I think I may have to go to my family doctor. That is who I have usually gone to.
I compared the list I had made for birth announcements to my Christmas card list and they were almost the same. My charge nurse has a board where she puts pictures and I will give her one for that board and I think that pretty much counts for everyone in the department, with the exception of a few close friends. I had two different lists last year - the people I gave handmade cards and those I gave purchased cards. Only the handmade list is getting the photo announcements I decided. I can't post any of the pictures yet because the proofs are currently available to us through the photographer's website. I will put the birth announcement at the very least when we get it here. I would be happy to share the pictures if anyone really wants to look at them. You just need to email me and I will email you the site and the password. The pictures will only be available until next Saturday and then they are gone forever. That isn't true, we would just have to pay for another two weeks.
I got a little misty today. When I was getting Jake ready for bed tonight I decided that I am going to have to put away some of his 0-3 month clothes because he is too big. My little boy is growing so much! I have a container ready for his clothes in the basement and I just wonder if I will ever need them again. We really have nothing that is very unisex, probably less than 5% without potentially giving a girl a complex. Besides, I can see Daddy wanting to put a little princess in pink, lace, and bows. I was never that girl!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
What do you think?
We are ordering birth announcements from the photographer that took our amazing pictures. My MIL has given me a hard time because we haven't sent any out yet and I explained we wanted to send out these wonderful pictures. So here is the thing, who do we send these to? I mean we send them to our family and then how far out do we go from there? We could easily send out 100 but we aren't going to. Where do you draw the line? Do we send them to our parents' friends? I just don't want to offend anyone, but I was trying to keep it under 40 because that is about $100 and I want to use my money on pictures not announcements that aren't going to be kept or will be stuck away somewhere. I will happily send out the old hand written kind, but again I'm not sure who should get them. I mean my coworkers don't need them right? I will send them to my very good friends who happen to be coworkers, but still. I don't want to get in trouble yet again at work. If you haven't seen a friend in three or four years do you need to send one to them? I just want to do what is right, but again I don't want to be wasteful of my picture money. We are struggling with what we want to order because we are wanting a crazy number of pictures. The thing I keep telling my husband is that if we do this with Jake then if we have another baby we need to do it for that child as well. We each were that second child and his parents did a lot better than mine. But I think because he was a boy and their first was a daughter, where as I was the second daughter it wasn't as big of a deal. My mom recently gave me my baby book. There was not one thing written in it. Not one. Anyway, I just don't want to go crazy with these pictures because we are going to have lots of pictures over time. We just know these are SO special and really good.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Sticking together
I shouldn't have said out loud or typed how well Jake was doing with his sleep because the last two nights have sucked and I am TIRED. The good news is that he has hardly slept at all today. He is asleep right now and I don't usually let him sleep this late but maybe if I let him sleep now I can keep him up a bit later tonight and the night will go better.
My sister and I long ago made a promise to each other that would never let one another be like our mom and if we did something "Mom" like would smack some sense into the other. We think my mom was half as crazy as my grandma and we are hoping to be half as crazy as my mom. We may even be less than half. We have seen the choices my mom has made and we have seen how those choices have impacted her and us as her children. So basically we went the opposite direction. My mom got married when she was barely 18. My sister waited until she was 25 and I waited until 30. My mom had my sister when she was 19. My sister was 29 when she had her first and I am 31. My mom didn't start her education until she was in her mid thirties, divorced with two kids. Now obviously she needed that education and it is great that she got it, but she should have taken into consideration being able to support her family when she was making career choices. My sister and I went to school before we got married let alone had families. Anyway, I'm going to stop there because sadly, I could go on for awhile. My sister and I paid attention and have learned, we just wish my mom would also learn from her mistakes instead of repeating them.
I just want to be the best mom I can be. Maybe God has stepped in in my sister's and my families. She has three boys so the mom line stopped there. So far I have one boy and I don't know if there will be any additional boy or a girl in my future. We will have to see.
My sister and I long ago made a promise to each other that would never let one another be like our mom and if we did something "Mom" like would smack some sense into the other. We think my mom was half as crazy as my grandma and we are hoping to be half as crazy as my mom. We may even be less than half. We have seen the choices my mom has made and we have seen how those choices have impacted her and us as her children. So basically we went the opposite direction. My mom got married when she was barely 18. My sister waited until she was 25 and I waited until 30. My mom had my sister when she was 19. My sister was 29 when she had her first and I am 31. My mom didn't start her education until she was in her mid thirties, divorced with two kids. Now obviously she needed that education and it is great that she got it, but she should have taken into consideration being able to support her family when she was making career choices. My sister and I went to school before we got married let alone had families. Anyway, I'm going to stop there because sadly, I could go on for awhile. My sister and I paid attention and have learned, we just wish my mom would also learn from her mistakes instead of repeating them.
I just want to be the best mom I can be. Maybe God has stepped in in my sister's and my families. She has three boys so the mom line stopped there. So far I have one boy and I don't know if there will be any additional boy or a girl in my future. We will have to see.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Not so bad
I feel bad. I get myself so worked up for my mom to come. Things went very well, for a visit with my mother. My husband stayed outside or gone most of the time she was here and she had to make a comment about that. There was a lot of shopping, on her part not mine, and she can't afford to do that. She gets extremely mad when you bring up the shopping and I didn't want to deal with that so I just let it go. I only went to a furniture store with her where she picked out a $2000 chair and a leather couch that was more than that. She didn't buy anything and the salesperson seems to think she will be placing an order very soon. I sure hope not because she doesn't have that money!
Anyway, things went well. She got to hold her grandson a lot. She got up while I was sitting in the chair at 6 this morning trying to sleep and she jumped at the opportunity to take my place and send me off to bed. I let her. I knew it would make her whole week. There were two things that did irritate me though. She didn't leave until eight thirty tonight and she has a drive about two hours. The other thing was that she decided she needed to dye her hair at my house and not only did she stink the place up, she got dye on the wall above the sink. Several spots and it doesn't come off. I guess I still have the paint!
Enough bitching. I should be glad I have a mother, right? She did try to help me some while she was here and she told me that I am a good mother. She did take a bunch of my Or.eos with her though and they are my addiction. I don't share them well. I guess I will have to get used to that.
So things have been going pretty well here actually. Jake seems to be getting bigger and bigger everyday. Yesterday morning I was holding him and he giggled several times. He smiles but not often enough for our liking and he hasn't giggled again. It was sweet though. He is sleeping pretty well too. He is sleeping for one stretch of at least four hours and it has even been up to six. I am now wondering if I have typed this before??? I don't know but I am so grateful! I feel a lot better since I have been getting a bit more sleep. Speaking of which, I need to get all my things taken care of and get my butt to bed if I want a long stretch tonight because Jake went to bed early tonight!
Anyway, things went well. She got to hold her grandson a lot. She got up while I was sitting in the chair at 6 this morning trying to sleep and she jumped at the opportunity to take my place and send me off to bed. I let her. I knew it would make her whole week. There were two things that did irritate me though. She didn't leave until eight thirty tonight and she has a drive about two hours. The other thing was that she decided she needed to dye her hair at my house and not only did she stink the place up, she got dye on the wall above the sink. Several spots and it doesn't come off. I guess I still have the paint!
Enough bitching. I should be glad I have a mother, right? She did try to help me some while she was here and she told me that I am a good mother. She did take a bunch of my Or.eos with her though and they are my addiction. I don't share them well. I guess I will have to get used to that.
So things have been going pretty well here actually. Jake seems to be getting bigger and bigger everyday. Yesterday morning I was holding him and he giggled several times. He smiles but not often enough for our liking and he hasn't giggled again. It was sweet though. He is sleeping pretty well too. He is sleeping for one stretch of at least four hours and it has even been up to six. I am now wondering if I have typed this before??? I don't know but I am so grateful! I feel a lot better since I have been getting a bit more sleep. Speaking of which, I need to get all my things taken care of and get my butt to bed if I want a long stretch tonight because Jake went to bed early tonight!
Friday, October 05, 2007
My little old man!
My poor baby! All along we expected to have a bald child. I mean shiny headed bald. We were both bald and so we thought that is what we would get. Well we were wrong. We were just shocked and amazed at Jake's hair. We couldn't believe it. Then we got used to it. We discussed that it would fall out and it might grow back different. It might be curly like Mike's. It might be a different color. I talked about all of these things but nothing could prepare me for how hard it would be to watch his beautiful hair fall out!!!
At first it just started to recede and thin out on top like his dad's. As in the first picture. Actually that isn't true. First it started to fall out on the back of his head where he had his wound. That made sense to me. Besides that is where his head naturally rubs against his bouncy seat. But then most of the top was gone! It moved back two inches in the course of an afternoon. Look familiar???
He still had some hair on the top and on the sides but it was very thin and hard to see. At first I didn't see the hair anywhere. I knew it was coming out but I wasn't finding it. I guess it is super fine so it just was blending in with the dog, cat and big people hair. Then it was on his washcloth and on the pillow of his bathtub. I was pitiful. I was trying to collect the hairs. Then we saw it on the bouncy seat. The worst however was his bed this morning. I changed his sheets yesterday afternoon and this morning it was unbelievable how much hair was there! Mike saw if first. He said I needed to prepare myself first and then go look at his bed. He said I was going to have to change his sheet. I couldn't believe it. I was scraping hair out of the bed! Mike said it looked like a cat had been sleeping in there and he was right!
What a crazy mom! Speaking of crazy moms... Mine is coming tomorrow. She emailed me Thursday and asked me "am I to come this weekend?" What the hell is that? Am I to come? I invited her last weekend to come this weekend if she was well. She ticks me off. She couldn't say is it still ok to come? No, she has to be all her about it. I should know by now and I should just let if roll off but I can't. I flat out ignore many things she does and says, but I can't ignore them all. So I wrote her back and said we were planning on her visiting we just didn't know when she was coming. She wrote back with in two minutes (we can't call) and said she wouldn't come until Saturday so she could spend some time with her cats!!! See, I said she was crazy! Oh, and if it's okay she is going to be bringing her laundry because her drain is acting up. I didn't even bring my laundry home when I was away at college!
On a good note, we got our proofs today for our pictures! I love them. I can even stand to look at the pictures of myself because they aren't about me they are all about Jake. The photographer is so good! Now comes the hard part of figuring out what to order because there are so many good pictures. I know I am totally biased but I can't help but think Jake is just beautiful. You could hardly see his baby acne in most of the black and white pictures. There weren't very many color pictures and it was much more visible, being thousands of red spots and all. My doctor gave me three days of steroids for the rash I had and after I took those Jake's face completely cleared up! Now that they are out of my system and his the darn pimples are back with a vengeance!
Please pray for God to give me strength to make it through the visit with my mother. I am going to need it!
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