It continues...

Yesterday morning I finally went in to get my work schedule because I absolutely couldn't put it off any more. I have to go into the daycare tomorrow. I went in before 11am and it was a ghost a town. I couldn't believe it. This is my weekend so I thought I would see my weekend crew and there was no one in the OR at all. I found one nurse in the recovery room and she was doing house keeping chores for the department. When I work it isn't ever like that! That isn't fair at all. It was weird being there when it was so quiet and dark. I looked around and everything was the same but some how it made it even harder. There weren't people there to talk to to soften the blow of having to return. I tried to log on to the computer to check my email and I couldn't get on. My password had expired and I tried to change it, but apparently I couldn't remember it. Oh well, it can wait a bit longer.

It didn't help that it rained all day yesterday, but I had a hard day. I kept crying. I don't want to go back. I want to be with my baby. Mike had to go to work last night and he now hates leaving the baby too. I can only imagine how hard it will be when we both are working. First thing when Mike comes home he goes for Jake. That's okay. I am trying to not think about it. I still have two weeks to enjoy with my little fella right?

That is the other thing. Jake is growing so fast! Mike and I were playing with him last night and he was smiling and giggling. We were trying to get a good picture of him but the stupid digital camera takes so long the really good face is gone by the time it takes the picture. You can still tell he was happy in both of these pictures though. Today I had to put away some of his clothes for the first time and that was hard. I decided it needed to be done yesterday but I was already sad so I couldn't do it. I put away things that he only had the opportunity to wear once and I am sure some of the onesies he didn't get to wear. At least they were just plain white. I went through his clothes some and I need to finish tomorrow so I make sure that we are accessing all the clothes we need to be wearing now. I forgot about some of them. I really like dressing him like he is a little adult and not in goofy baby stuff. I'm just not into the cutsie stuff. We were given many gifts of things that aren't what I would pick and I put him in them anyway, but I cringe. He is finally wearing the sleepers with feet. I think they are so cute and he is so cute in them. He wouldn't tolerate his feet confined like that. I am worried about him staying warm enough. I just kept trying to get him to wear a sleeper in the day to get used to them and he finally did. I love my little boy so much. I do hope we will be able to see these little clothes again, someday.