Damned

I seem to be damned if I do and damned if I don't. I guess I am a touch emotional today. I had a reasonably hard day at work and I was hoping to come home and relax but that isn't the case. I even tried to get my husband to go to a movie so at least we could get out of this hot house and someplace cool where I can leave this world behind and get lost in another. So, my issue is I miss my husband now terribly when he is gone. I want nothing more than for him to be home with me. He is home with me having done nothing today but spend $200 and the afternoon working on the car that was to save us money. I am pissed. Less so about the car and more so about all the things that need to be done in our house that remain unfinished.

He did have to work last night and didn't get home until about one thirty I think. However, he spent six hours of his 12 hour shift in the depot in a comfortable chair watching TV or napping because his train wasn't ready. It sounds terribly strenuous I know. So I worked an 8 hour shift doing things that are physically difficult for me and I went to the chiropractors. Then I came home and even though I really really didn't want to I walked my dog about half a mile in the 95 degree heat. I came in absolutely exhausted and sucked down water and a then peeled off my support hose only to be greeted with whining. Mike hadn't taken his dog out since I walked him this morning. Did he get his large ass up out of the chair? No, his largely pregnant wife managed to roll her fat ass off the couch to walk his dog. Now I need to stop whining myself and go do dishes, finish my thank yous, and keep working on organizing things in the nursery that is still not fully put together. I was stupid and decided to make thank yous since I spent all this money on the stuff my SIL sells. What and idiot! I spent six hours working on them yesterday and that was mostly just writing them. I worked on making them the week before! Well, there certainly won't be anything I made sent out after Jake comes. Those people will get Hallmark! I'm just so frustrated because there are so many things that still need to be done that I can't physically do. If I could, they would already be finished and it pisses me off. It makes me resent my husband and that is really bad. I just want to shake him and tell him to stop being so lazy, but I know the hours he works really take a toll on his body. I know he has a hard time knowing if he is coming or going sometimes and he just needs to take some time to recover. He just takes too damn long!!!!! I can't stand to think I am married to a lazy person, but it seems to be true. Things only get done if they are important to him.