Pain

Saturday I woke up having this terrible stabbing pain right where my gallbladder used to be. It hurt most of the time but got much worse when I would take a breath. I was also about twenty shades of green until at least 1000. I didn't throw up but the pain wasn't pleasant. I thought maybe I had done something wrong in my sleep or a scab on the inside had come off. I don't know but by Sunday it was definitely worse than any of the pain I had right after surgery. I tried to not do a lot this weekend, but I think I did to much. I did a lot of running around, a family brunch, and a birthday party. Yesterday morning I threw up almost first thing. I made for a record four mornings without throwing up until yesterday. It has been different too since after surgery. Sometimes I have the nausea I had before and I can talk myself out of it and but the times I have thrown up I break out in a cold sweat, I have to stop dead in my tracks and run to the bathroom as fast as I can. I supposed it isn't that different. But somehow it feels different right before.

Anyway, I called the doctor's office first thing yesterday morning. I knew that pain wasn't right but I don't think it was bad enough to call the doctor on the weekend. It got pretty close Sunday night, but I didn't want to be a bad patient. So I called and they agreed that it didn't sound like I had just over done it and was sore. They had me to work me in yesterday afternoon. I had to wait forever. I didn't mind, but I had my friend that is off for her surgery drive me because I hurt to much to drive. I felt bad that she had to wait. The surgeon I saw was not the one that did my surgery. If there had been a choice of doctors I would have picked another one, but I didn't have a choice. I just have reservations about this doctor still. He hasn't been a doctor for all that long and he is new to the practice. He is still used to how they do things somewhere else in a smaller hospital and I have had some... interesting experiences with him so far in emergency/trauma situations. I may,also, have also been a little bitchy to him when he has a tendency to whine over stupid things that we can't do anything about in that moment in time. I just have a hard time believing that he was a surgeon in a mobile hospital in Iraq. I guess I had a different expectation.

I digress again. He pretty much told me that he was going to treat me differently because of who I am, not because of the baby like everyone else says, but because I am an nurse he would have to face. When you are a health care provider you generally dread having to take care of another health care provider (or their families). For whatever reason, if something out of the ordinary is going to happen it will happen to them. So he wanted to be "overly cautious" and ordered a bunch of labs and several Xrays and another ultrasound of my liver where my gallbladder used to be. I have been poked and prodded and now I wait. Will they find anything? I'm guessing not. The pain started getting better yesterday after I made the appointment. It is better today than it was yesterday. Now it only hurts when I take a moderate sized breath not all the time. I still just want to cry. They do all this stuff to me and all I want is for them to look or listen to the baby and make sure it is okay. That would probably make me feel better than anything.