My husband went over to his parents' house today and things are now even worse with my MIL. My MIL is refusing to talk to anyone. Of course this makes things difficult for my FIL and now my husband and FIL are mad at each other. My husband tried to talk to his mom today and I guess she said that I'm "not the first woman to ever be pregnant" to my husband. Well, obviously that is true. But this really, really made my husband mad. He said that she sat in the room where he was talking to his dad but refused to take part in the conversation and left all together after my husband got the above statement out of her. He says he told her that I was trying to explain but she wouldn't shut up for five seconds and listen. Sadly, those are probably pretty close to the words he used. They might not have even been that nice.
When his mom left he said he told his dad that he isn't going to tell his mother anything at all now. Great. He said he told his dad he would still talk to him but his mom was going to have to come to our house or call him if she wanted to talk him. I don't know what to do. I didn't realize how much his mom likes to be the center of attention until now. I have truly been trying to keep to myself because she has been driving me nuts - because I know that she requires more patience than I currently can muster. I don't think she can comprehend, let alone cares how crappy things have been for me so far. She just can't think about others. She seems to be lacking in compassion. I was able to get along with her pretty well through all the wedding stuff but this is obviously a different story. I am trying but... I don't know what to do. Now my FIL is mad at my husband. It is funny to me that my hot headed FIL is generally the most reasonable one in the bunch. I don't even dare talk to my SIL now. My husband is taking some stuff to her next week and I don't know how that will go. My SIL and MIL talk on the phone at least once a day (like my husband and his dad). My SIL can look at things from more than one perspective generally, but in the end she is very much like her mom. Some how I am going to have to make this better and my husband says under no circumstances am I to apologize for being sharp with his mother because he says I didn't do anything wrong. He firmly doesn't believe that sometimes you just have to suck it up to make peace. That is definitely a difference in our personalities. We are both (or the whole damn group of us) very stubborn, but in the end I really want peace and will do what it takes to negotiate that. Of course, my husband says I can't let his mom walk on me either. Crap!
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3 comments:
Oh, the joys of in-laws. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that on top of everything else. I can kind of relate; I do have some MIL issues like when she told my husband last week that we should name our baby Kieran because it's a combo of her name and mine. Um, yeah, I have a problem with that.
Oh, and I loved your post about being one of them. It is a great feeling! I love it when I catch someone looking at my belly and it's even better when they look at my belly and then at me and smile. I'm also psyched to finally get to use the "pregnant woman parking" as I call it, though now I can't seem to find many places that have it when before it seemed like they were everywhere!!!
Hope you are doing better : )
Gosh, sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time - and this trouble with the MIL certainly doesn't help. Hang in there!
Oh this does not sound fun. I'm so sorry you're having a rough time with your in-laws. Like you needed anything more to deal with. I think you already have enough on your plate, don't you! And obviously you aren't the first woman to ever be pregnant but it's the first time you've been pregnant..and the first time your husband is going to be a Dad. It's sad that she can't be more supportive since this will be her grandchild...just that alone should be enough for her to feel like the center of attention...sometimes my Mom is very annoying b/c she thinks this pregnancy is all about her... and I'm sure it's all she talks about to her friends. I'm surprised your MIL hasn't gone that direction so that she can gain some attention from being Grandma.
I have no real advice. I know it must hurt. Hopefully you can just focus on the family you and your husband are starting. Worry about that family unit...you don't need to worry about MIL and FIL. They are grown ups and can make their own decisions. And your husband supports you on this.
Hang in there. I hope it just all blows over.
-Faith
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