Roots or Wings

My husband and I had very different experiences growing-up. I was born in a small town in Iowa and my family actually lived in an even smaller town. I went to preschool there. Just after I turned five my mom, sister and I moved to a suburb of Iowa City. My parents had divorced and my mom wanted/needed to go to college. I went to kindergarten - third grade in an amazing elementary school. I was so fortunate to be able to have that experience. You wouldn't think of a town in Iowa as being very multinational but it is. I had kids from all over the world in my class. I got to learn so much and I didn't know that it was unusual until we moved to north central Iowa. Wow! That was a change. Most of the kids there were of Norwegian and Lutheran. Both of which I wasn't. I went to fourth and fifth grades there. It was different and I liked it. I was a novelty to them so that made me pretty interesting. It was the first time since I was five that I didn't have to share a bedroom with my sister, even though my room was a converted front porch that didn't have heat. It was a bigger deal to my sister because she is so much older than I. She has to share a bedroom with an elementary age sibling when she was in junior high and high school.

My mom changed jobs when I was in fifth grade, I think, and commuted across state lines to Minnesota. My sister graduated when I was in fifth grade so my mom wasn't going to relocate us then. The summer after fifth grade we moved to Minnesota, but it was only like a twenty mile move. My aunt, uncle, and cousins had just moved from this town. That made me sad because that was closest I have ever lived to any family in my life. That still rings true today. (my mom isn't much farther at about 30 miles). That was a great move and good timing. The elementary schools in that town all went from kindergarten to fifth grade and there was one separate school for sixth grade. So I was able to sneak in when everyone was coming together for the first time and lots of kids didn't know each other. You see, I was a very shy child and not good at these new situations. I didn't make friends quickly and I was generally a teacher's pet.

I had some issues with my family and the events thus far in my life and that made other things even harder for me. I didn't have two parents. We spent most of my life living at the poverty level. My mom went into social work so it wasn't the most lucrative of career choices, especially for a single parent. My dad always paid his child support but it wasn't as much as we needed.

Anyway, I loved the school there because there were so many opportunities. There were a lot of kids in my grade and I liked it. There were more people you could find that you fit with. The school could also offer more to the kids. I suppose some people may not think this is good, but they were able to separate kids more so that they were able to challenge students according to their needs. (that sounds very diplomatic). I guess I think it was good because I was one of the kids that was in the more advanced classes. Maybe the kids that were in less advanced classes (there I go again) didn't feel the same way.

So I went to sixth, seventh, and three-quarters of eighth grade there. My mom had decided that for her to get a better paying job she needed to go to graduate school. She had always wanted to move "out West" somewhere. She applied to a few different schools and we looked at some different states. She didn't get into one of the schools she had hoped to and hadn't heard from another yet. During this time, my mom was looking for jobs in Colorado. She got one at a nursing home in Greeley and we moved to Colorado. I wasn't happy. It was the first time I had moved during a school year and that is awful. I don't recommend it to anyone. It didn't help that this was just before my fourteenth birthday. I don't remember things being the most pleasant then.

Here we were in what was then a small town in Colorado. I did not feel welcome in that school. I had fit in so well in that other school and there were so many things to be involved in that I now didn't have. Wouldn't you know that a couple of weeks after we got there my mom got her acceptance to graduate school at CSU forwarded from our address in Minnesota. So she went to graduate school my freshmen and sophomore years of high school and then had trouble finding work. There were many people with similar education and more experience with not that many jobs. So great now she has even more debt from school and not a job to make up for it. She did a lot of things to try and make it, but when I was a senior she started looking for work back in Iowa. She found a job and moved in February of my senior year. I did not. I stayed and finished high school there. Then I went to Iowa for the summer and came back to Colorado for college. Well at least the first year. Since my mom had moved in February and my birthday wasn't until May, my residential status was legally in Iowa with my legal guardian. You see I didn't have my letter of acceptance until after my mom left. That sucked. So I got my freshman year of college as in-state tuition but not after that. In the mean time, my mom didn't like her job much there and wanted to be closer to me.

My mom found a job here in Scottsbluff and moved in November. In Nebraska you have to be 19 to be of legal age so I was able to establish redicency with her here. I made some plans and changed them and ended up living here ever since.

Mike had a totally different experience. He was born here. His parents still live at the same address where they brought him home from the hospital. He never had to change schools, which is good and bad. Mike did live on his own for awhile before he moved in with me, thank goodness. So I guess he has some pretty deep roots here.

I certainly didn't like how we moved when I was a kid. All that change! But I know things are different in other places. Every couple of years or maybe more, I feel restless and have the urge to spread my wings and fly away. I like cities. I don't like traffic, but I like the opportunities and the options. I like the competitiveness of employers. As a kid, I remember wanting to be like the kids that stayed in one place. I remember saying that was how I wanted my kids to grow up. I don't know now. I know that we aren't likely to move with the job Mike has now. I want to go back to Colorado, but Mike doesn't like all those people. I am just have a rough time right now. I really, really want to flap my wings right now.