Patience

Patience is not something I was born with. It is not something I have acquired with age. If anything, the older I get the more my patience dwindles. Today is different though. I am excited and having to wait is killing me. I am going to pick up my husbands birthday present. It is a PUPPY!! Somehow, I manage to keep it a secret from him until his birthday. I'm not at keeping presents secrets. I don't like surprises. Sometimes you work really hard to get what you think is a the best gift that they won't know is coming only to find out it is a flop.

Patience, like everything else I have an issue with, is about lack of control. I guess I like to be in control. Is that a bad thing? There are so many variables in our lives. I guess what matters is how we deal with those variables. My husband and I have jobs where we are oncall. My hours are a more regular than his. I know I will work Monday through Friday and every fourth weekend. I know what time I will go to work each day, but I don't always know when I will leave. Then I take my turn at being oncall for emergencies and traumas, but it is scheduled so I know what days this will happen. My husband's work is different. He goes to work when he is called. He is on a train for usually 12 hours. He gets off the train in another state and gets his name put at the bottom of a list to come home. Then we wait and we wait. I understand that somewhere there is a guy that has a master plan of how the trains run (a schedule), but I don't see any rhyme or reason. Mike can sit on a train for 12 hours and only move 10miles. Once in a great, GREAT while he will make it home in 6 hours. Other times he will be stuck away for 24 hours. That is rare, but still I have to wait patiently at home.

Don't get me wrong, I like my alone time. I think it works for us - right now. A large reason that Mike and I made our commitment to each other legal is because we want to start a family. Like yesterday. That is a little difficult when Mike is gone 36 or more hours every time he goes to work. It decreases our odds. Patience, I must have patience. I have waited this long, right? Yeah, patience my ass. At least I have burned enough time that I only have to wait another hour for the puppy!!