Change

Change has always been very difficult for me. I like things to remain the same and predictable. I like status quo. Change frightens me. I do not view it as a challenge, as something to overcome or accomplish and rarely as progress. Change = stress. I loathe change.

There have been some pretty huge changes in my personal life lately. Tomorrow is my two month wedding anniversary. After nearly eight years, Mike and I got married. This was a change I actually wanted and am happy about. Life doesn't feel that different though. Not yet anyway. I hyphenated my last name. Mike tells me he is fine with that. Some how taking a completely different last name felt like I was giving up my entire life to up to now to become someone new. My life is evolving (that sounds so much better that "changing" doesn't it?). I can't believe what a hassle it is to get your name changed with everyone and everything. It just feeds my furry with change. The first copy I got of my marriage certificate is worn out from presenting it to everyone under the sun. I truly wonder how long it will take for this name-change to be finished.

Mike started training for a new job a couple of weeks after the wedding. His stress levels have increased greatly. I thought my stress levels would just drop off after the wedding, but I was so wrong. Now I too worry about the training. I am not worried about his being able to do the job, just getting us through the training.

Then there is my job... There is so much going on there I don't know what to say. I just want to pick myself up and set myself back down 6-8 months into the future. So many of us are burned out right now and yet more keeps being asked of us. More and more change! It is no wonder I feel like crap and can't sleep at night. Obviously, I don't have the best attitude at the moment. I feel like I need to put my finger on change "Pause" button or at least the "Slow" button on some aspect of my life and breath, deeply.

This is normal right?