My husband and I entered a committed relationship with one another eight years ago yesterday. He surprised me with flowers at work. DH has been very good about sending me flowers over the years. We have both received much harassment about it from my coworkers. Long ago I used to get flowers ever couple of months for no reason. Now it is mostly just the important stuff, like birthdays and anniversaries. I didn't think I would get them this year since we are married now. I was very pleased.
Obviously it took us a long time to get married. We will have been
married 5 months in a couple of days. Mike was a little slow at progressing the relationship in the beginning, but in the long run it was really me. Mike is a couple of years younger than I am, but I was the one that wasn't in a hurry. I got a little burned many many years ago and I had some commitment issues. I am also the child of divorce and I have had a distinct lacking in seeing normal adult male/female interactions. My parents divorced when I was 4 and my mother never remarried. I don't think my father has ever cared that I exist.I just didn't want to rush into things. Obviously we didn't. I just don't want to mess things up. I wanted to know that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man before I made that legally and spiritually binding commitment. I did get a few ultimatims along the way and that was hard for me. I had to take some leaps and I am more of a baby step kind of person. But we made it here. If we didn't want kids so badly now who knows how long we might have waited to get married. It is funny because when we were finally trying to set a date it was Mike that got a little panicky. He had been nudging me for so long! We desperately want kids but it was very important to us to be married first. It is funny how things change. There used to be a very rigid idea of how things were done in our society but now those lines are blurred. I have known several people who have waited years to get married after they have started families. I'm not talking accidents either, but planned pregnancies. It is funny how marrige does seem to become important at some time or some point. I guess I was a supporter of legalized domestic partnerships. They don't just apply to homosexuals.
Don't get me wrong marriage was still important to me. It was just a scary thing. It was important to me to be married in a church and have our union blessed. My husband isn't religious at all. I was not really raised in a church but spirituality was important to me from the time I was very little. I made my mom take me to church when I was in early elementary school. By the time I was in fourth grade I went to Sunday School all on my own. My family didn't go to church at all. I would get myself up and walk to the church. I would get myself included in church activities with my friends. In junior high that tappered off a bit until we moved to Colorado and then my mom and I made the decision to go to church together. I always worked hard to be involved in church activities. I was never a well versed in the Bible but I always read. After high school moved away from church a bit. I moved several times and it just seemed to slip in the cracks. Last year I made the effort to start going again. I was ashamed when people thought I was new to town because they hadn't seen me in church before. I can't believe what a difference it has made in my life. I feel like a part of me was missing and I didn't even know it until it was found.
I don't know how I got from saying how wonderful Mike is and how much I love him to talking about church. I think it has to do with the different kinds of faith we have. My faith in my relationship with Mike and my faith that my life will follow the right path. It is hard sometimes to have faith and not question it. I want so badly to have a baby and it is hard to have the faith that things will work out as they are meant to. I doubt I will have kids dragging me to church as I did, but I am trying to have faith in God that I will be taking - maybe dragging - kids there someday. Soon, I hope. I'm not good at patience
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