Last day

Today is the last day of Mike's vacation and it has gone much better than I expected. I asked him to do two things for me while he was off and neither has been completed. The odometer in my car is reading error and we need to put something different down than what we have between the carpet of the hallway and the linoleum of the bathroom floor. He is working on putting the automatic starter in my car right now and he did get a tire fixed that had a leak. He also gave my car a much needed tune up. By the way, I want a different car, but I know I am not going to get one. He also changed the oil and while he was doing that he discovered I have a CV joint going out. That is something he does not have the tools to fix. Crap. I don't like having issues with my vehicle. I don't like waiting to see if it does this or that because it means whatever. I want to know that I am safe and it will take me where ever I need to go. I am suggesting that we get rid of both our "big" vehicles and one something different that I drive. Remember, he got that car that is so much more gas efficient to drive around, right? Only one big car payment instead of two moderately large. Only one costly vehicle to insure. Only one gas hog. Hopefully, I could still get something larger that could still be better on fuel that what I am driving. (my gas mileage should get better now, I am told).

We have made it without me once having wanted to kill my husband, for the most part. We did have a HUGE fight where he brought up divorce and threatened to leave. We are pasted that now. I didn't get it when it happened. He was really flying off. Now I do get it. He is really upset about his pay. He sees me worrying about money and he feels like he isn't a good enough husband. He knows I want nothing more than to stay home with Jake and he wishes he could do more so that I can. I told him I know it isn't going to happen. He feels bad too that Jake is going to a germ factory. He wishes Jake had a grandma or aunt that could take care of him. (I don't think he knows that my sister has said if we move down by her she would take care of Jake.)

I know he couldn't get done what he wanted this week because he was watching Jake, but that was fine. He could have done more last week because he got almost nothing done then. I understand though that sometimes you need some down time. I also know that he gets more down time than just about anyone. Oddly, it still isn't a big deal to me! Maybe he is slipping me some valium or something. He did let his mom watch Jake on Friday instead of sending him back to daycare of watching him himself. (that is when my car did finally get worked on) Then he kicked himself and was mad that he didn't watch Jake himself. Poor little Jakey's bottom got burned. He is on antibiotics, of course (again!), and Grandma and Grandpa let him sit in a dirty diaper for awhile before they figured out why he was so upset. Mike thinks at least half an hour because he spent part of the time on the phone with his dad and was the one that told them to check his diaper. Well, he screamed so much that grandma stopped cleaning him up!?! His little bottom was clean, but his other parts still had that acidic pooh on them when Mike we got home. He picked Jake up before he picked me up from work. Jake screamed and I cried as we tried to clean him up. Mike was just furious. He was mad at his mom and mad at himself for not taking care of his son himself that day. Poor baby had blisters. It is finally doing better today. It just takes minutes for his sensitive little skin to get sore. Mike calmed down and explained to her to use a washclothe and squeeze water over it or even rinse him in the sink or tub with tempid water, but for God sakes get it all off! Mike felt so bad. I'm sure his mom did too. He went outside for that phone conversation...

I have been wanting to put a weight loss counter up but I haven't yet, obviously. That means I am acknowledging I have a problem and am seriously taking steps to fix it. I am still dragging my feet and am just kind of trying to take off the extra butt and gut I am carrying around. I haven't stepped on the scale in awhile and I sucked it up today and did it. You see, that is another one of the reasons I dread Mike's vacation. I don't eat as well when he is home all the time as I do when he is gone. He is such a picky eater and we eat so much more junk when he is home. When he is gone, I eat a more like I know I need to. I only looked with one eye because I thought it might soften the blow. I couldn't belive what I saw! I usually weigh myself first thing in the morning before I eat or drink and that wasn't true today and I still saw a number that didn't ups
et me. I mean it was still terrible, but I thought it would be five pounds heavier! So, I don't have it in my today, but I will put up a counter. I have to. I need to be a healthier me for that little boy that sounds like he is waking up. I have someone I am responsible for now and I need to be there for him. I need to be able to do all the things he needs me to do. I need to be able to crawl around and play with him. I need to be able to chase after him. I don't want there to be a chance that he is embarrassed because he as a fat mom. I don't want him to think his mom is fat and I don't want him to be an unhealthy weight. I need to be an example of leading a healthy life, right?

For heaven's sake when will the spell check work!! It is well know that I am "a creative" speller!!!