So the doctor comes in and says, "now you know this doesn't always work the first time." I now hate those words with a passion. Jacob's head had dropped more and it pushed my cervix around posterior where it had not been before. Now the nurse couldn't even reach it and so I didn't get checked until the doctor came over at lunch time. The pit got started at 0830 and I started having contractions almost right away. They gradually increased the pit and we plugged along. The contractions weren't too bad. I thought I might just be able to make it through this. So my doctor checked me at lunch time and was not pleased with my cervix at all. It hadn't changed and was still so far back. Now he says that I should have come in the night before for cytotec. Of course my cervix wasn't like that at my appointment the previous week so he said it wasn't necessary. I am not so happy. I am damn upset because I want to have a baby!!!! The pit keeps going up the contractions stall some and pick back up. I change nursing shifts and we start discussing what our plan of action is going to be. I am upset again. I want this baby to be born, damn it!
So we decided at 1700 that the pitocin is going to be shut off at 1800 and I am going to be monitored for awhile, fed, and sent to a room to get two doses of cytotec through the night. There are lots of tears at this point. I wanted a baby not this. My husband tells my mother who has been out in the waiting room and she manages to get her way back into the delivery room where I don't want her. She will be back earlier tomorrow she tells me. Great!!!
So Mike gets to go home and sleep and I am stuck in a hot room with a quarter of pill shoved up to the cervix no one can reach and stuck on a monitor. This is when I am supposed to be "getting some sleep for my big day tomorrow." Mind you, I had called over and talked to someone at work because I wanted to know which doctor was on call. The answer was not mine of course because he was on the day before. He told me he would stay with me as long as he could, bastard (sorry I am a bit bitter still).
They had to cancel another induction for Wednesday since I didn't deliver. I am so sorry to that woman. I can only imagine how I would have felt if I had gotten that call. I got my second dose of cytotec around 0500 and they wanted me to stay in bed as long as I could without getting up and going to the bathroom. Hello! I am 41 weeks pregnant and they have an IV going at 125 an hour. I had asked if we could turn it down to TKO but I was told no. I don't quite understand that because I was allowed to drink as much as I wanted. Anyway, I made it the required 90 minutes before going to the bathroom and the last 30 I had been suffering with bladder spasms. I was dying! So I got up and peed for about ten minutes and I started contracting. They hurt a far amount like when they shut off the pit the evening before. (when they shut off the pit they had hyper stimulated my uterus and I was having three contractions back to back that were lasting five minutes and then I would get a minute off and start over again). So I started contracting at about 063-0645 and they kept going. I had to stay in bed until 0800 and then I got to get up and take a shower to get ready for my big day. They had a c-section and another induction starting so they made me wait awhile to go back to the labor room which it didn't matter because I was already in labor.
So my cervix had moved back around and had thinned almost completely and I was having adequate contractions. My doctor came and checked on me and so did the doctor on call for the day and her resident. Not so happy. This guy is from South Africa, I think, and his social interactions are much different than those of most Americans. So the doc on call breaks my water over the lunch hour. I am in much more pain than I was the day before. I am actually quite miserable. They had set up an epidural for me I just had to wait until after my water was broken and then the call would be placed to anesthesia to come and put it in. I know very well that sometimes it can take awhile for them to have someone available to send someone over to OB so I was a bit worried and accepted the offered Nubian. That made me goofy. As luck would have it, there was someone available to come over immediately to put in my epidural. Actually, there was no luck involved, it was a very kind coworker waiting to come put in my epidural because they knew I would be getting one soon. It wasn't a perfect epidural, but it was still wonderful! I was able to get some rest finally. The best part was that our phones had to be shut off with the epidural pump and so for the first time in many days there was silence. We were unreachable!
Things kept progressing and by a little after 1720 I was complete, but still didn't have the urge to push with the epidural and all. The nurse wanted me to start pushing and the doctor said to just wait until I felt like it. My body would keep working and Jake's head still had a ways to go. So we waited and at 1745 I decided that I wanted to start pushing. I couldn't wait any more even though I still didn't feel pushy. So I pushed and pushed and pushed. I couldn't get his head to come around so the doctor got out the vacuum. She weighs all of about 90 pounds (you think I'm kidding and I'm not) and wasn't strong enough to help pull him down. So at 2000 she brought up c-section. Now I was absolutely exhausted at this point but I was not going to let this woman cut me. I was mad because my doctor bailed on me and I thought that wasn't going to happen. Then I am left with the one, the only one I didn't want.
So she says c-section and some how I managed to gather all the strength I had left in my body and I pushed Jacob out. He was born at 2023. He was absolutely covered in meconeum. The cord was around his neck once and he got a horrible wound on the back of his head from the suction cup. Mike didn't get to cut the cord because they were worried about his lungs. I barely got to see him pass by to the nurse. Mike was still at my side looking all the way across the room at Jacob so I told to get his camera and go be with his son.
Mike walked over to the warmer and said "Hi, Jacob" and he turned his head toward his daddy's voice and Mike started taking pictures. This is the first one of his life.
Then he reached toward his daddy.
Mommy watched from across the room as she was getting stitched up. A doctor was sewing until 2130. I kept telling them my epidural had worn off completely and she didn't believe me until she took the catheter out 2 hours later. I kept getting upset during the suturing and she then felt bad. I had a third degree tear, a deep vaginal tear, and a tear to my urethra. That is the one that has really, really hurt!
That scale does say 9 pounds 9.7 ounces. He was 22 inches long with a 15.25 inch head. I am hoping I will be in a better place by the time I get back to work but I keep wondering how things would have or could have gone if I had my doctor there instead. Would he have let me push so long or would he have said enough? Would things have been so stinking traumatic for Jacob and I or not? (the application of the suction to Jacob's head caused some of my internal ripping).
This is the wound that Jacob had from the suction cup. It looks like he has a giant, deep laceration from the cup. As they got it cleaned up better they saw that it was more like a horrible burn. They had to call in the doctor for the NICU to come and look at this wound. He contacted a neonatologist in Denver because he was concerned with a wound like this on the head with Jacob having been absolutely covered in his own stool. They didn't want him to get an infection right next to his soft spot and then into his brain. Not a good idea huh? So Jacob got whisked away from us. The nurse passed by and let me take a quick look as Jacob went to the NICU for all this looking over. They were worried about his lungs too and they took a chest xray. It took two hours before he came back and then when he did the nurse put him over in the warmer across the room from me and left. I wasn't allowed to get up yet and it was me and Jake but there wasn't anything I could do to get closer to my baby. Mike came back and moved the warmer as close as the cords would allow so at least I was finally able to touch my baby. We were in recovery for a long time. Jake had to have a sat monitor on and I bled quite heavily so I had to just hang out for extra time to make sure I was going to be okay. It was awful. I never want to repeat this experience and then it got worse but I will go into that in the next chapter...
2 comments:
Oh Jamie,
I am sorry that the birth went so poorly. I am sure you had thoughts of how it would all happend and the disappointment must have been difficult to deal with. The act of giving birth seems like a natural process, but sometimes things go wrong. Sorry it happened to you.
Whew...that was a lot to go through. I really, really feel for you with the 3rd degree tear and the other tears. My friend had a 3rd degree tear and I remember how hard it was for her and her stories of having to soak every day for comfort. I hope that you are doing better though.
And poor little Jake's head :( He's been through a lot already in his short time here! But, like my girls, he's a tough guy!! He is absolutely precious. Let us know how things are going at home!!!
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