Not yet!

Today I had to go in and sign up for shifts at work. I wanted to cry. I have been having nightmares about going back to work. I don't want to leave Jake and I don't want to go back to the stress of my job. I have been sticking my ear out there a little bit about some different jobs but I don't really want to change jobs either. I don't like the work at the jobs I have seem available with "normal" hours. I would be bored to death, but I would be able to take my baby to daycare and pick him up everyday. The other issue with those jobs is money. There aren't many other places I could work (even within the hospital) where I would make the same money. Of course with all the changes that have happened I may not make as much money in my department from now on either. I don't know. What I do know is that I don't want to leave my baby. Not yet and maybe not ever. I wish I could have the option of working one or two days a week, but I don't... I guess I had better go buy another lottery ticket then.