I had a meeting tonight. A big work meeting where lots of bs got shoveled. We have had so much going on or not going on at work. Everything has been so uncertain. THEY ONLY MADE IT WORSE!!!!!!!!! My boss has stepped down from her position and it will be effective April 15. We all could read between the lines. They pushed her out. I know I have my issues with her but over all she is a good boss. She knows everything. She can do things that no one else in the whole damn hospital can do. Crap. They are going to hire an MBA to now be our boss and the boss over the surgery center across the street. That damn place broke everything! I don't want an MBA telling me how to be a nurse!
The crappier part. I have spoken of my charge nurse before. She is going to be our actual boss. She is going to be the one that tells us what to do and when to do it. She is going to be the one with even more power. She is more than just a charge nurse she was given the title of unit manager five or more years ago. She does go to tons of meetings and stuff. But this is going to be horrible. This is the woman that you can't piss off or you pay for a very long time. When she stopped being mad at me after nine months I got off easy. She is still holding things against people from at least 20 years ago! This is not good ! At least we had a boss above her to go to. Who knows how many years it will take to get that MBA in and they aren't going to be here to deal with personnel issues! We are going to have to go to the vice president that is over us!!!! This sucks mega super huge time! I can't even begin to express the world of hurt we are going to be in for! There are a few things that I hope to see get better quickly but overall things are going to get worse before they get better...
Monday, February 23, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Luck ran out
Well, I have been fighting it, but I am sick. I am miserable with the usual crap. Sore throat, congested, swollen nodes in my neck, cough, aches, lethargy. Ya know, same as everyone else. It took a lot longer than it usually does for me to get sick so I can't whine too much. Poor Jakey is still sick. It was two weeks ago yesterday that I took him in. He is better, sort of. His cough is still bad. He is still coughing, getting junk up and gagging and then the vomiting. So much fun!!! One night I had to clean up his bed twice! Poor guy. We go to the doctor again Wednesday. It is supposed to be for his 18 month check up. Wow, where his the time gone???
Aside from us both feeling a bit crummy today, we had a good day. I really love spending time with him, even if it is trudging through the super center early in the morning to beat the crowds. Jake slept all night last for the first time in awhile. We had a bad week for sleep, which is why I think I finally got sick. We had three nights in a row where mommy got about four hours of interrupted sleep. Not good for trying to work. But anyway, we had a good day. We played and cuddled and took a snooze in the chair. I just love being his mommy. Too bad it didn't pay better, then it would be perfect. I know I would still be pulling my hair out but it would be different.
Jake loves his new room in daycare. I go to get him and he doesn't want to leave. If I get there a little later than normal I catch them playing. They run and run and run around the basement chapel. It is basically a small gym. The room is empty except for a few things for the kids to play on. What I mean is that there aren't any pews or chairs or anything. He just loves to chase around with the kids. I see him and he is the littlest but he doesn't know that. They do a lot more structured activities than his last room of course. The teacher told me she can't believe how well he is doing. They do flash cards and he will repeat every word she says and pays attention to the cards. I have really noticed how much better his attention span and concentration are. I told her he repeats almost any word he hears or at least he tries. She said he does better than several of the kids that have been in there all year and are six months older. Well, maybe they are bored and it is new to him, I don't know. But I do know that his communication is getting better. He still gets frustrated trying to tell you something, bit it is a lot better.
I suppose I need to go to bed. I don't know what the night will bring!!!
Aside from us both feeling a bit crummy today, we had a good day. I really love spending time with him, even if it is trudging through the super center early in the morning to beat the crowds. Jake slept all night last for the first time in awhile. We had a bad week for sleep, which is why I think I finally got sick. We had three nights in a row where mommy got about four hours of interrupted sleep. Not good for trying to work. But anyway, we had a good day. We played and cuddled and took a snooze in the chair. I just love being his mommy. Too bad it didn't pay better, then it would be perfect. I know I would still be pulling my hair out but it would be different.
Jake loves his new room in daycare. I go to get him and he doesn't want to leave. If I get there a little later than normal I catch them playing. They run and run and run around the basement chapel. It is basically a small gym. The room is empty except for a few things for the kids to play on. What I mean is that there aren't any pews or chairs or anything. He just loves to chase around with the kids. I see him and he is the littlest but he doesn't know that. They do a lot more structured activities than his last room of course. The teacher told me she can't believe how well he is doing. They do flash cards and he will repeat every word she says and pays attention to the cards. I have really noticed how much better his attention span and concentration are. I told her he repeats almost any word he hears or at least he tries. She said he does better than several of the kids that have been in there all year and are six months older. Well, maybe they are bored and it is new to him, I don't know. But I do know that his communication is getting better. He still gets frustrated trying to tell you something, bit it is a lot better.
I suppose I need to go to bed. I don't know what the night will bring!!!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Daycare Drama
Last Friday I got a call at work from Jake's daycare. The assistant director asked if Jake could be moved up to the toddler room from the waddler room. (Waddlers are not the little babies but too young to move to the toddler room at the time they change). That is fine by me. Jake plays with the toddlers all the time. He likes to go to their room. They have chapel (which is like gym time) together. He doesn't notice that he is the smallest of all these children. He is every bit as rough and tumble as the bigger, older boys. No big deal. They are "restructuring" some of the rooms. When I went to pick up Jake on Friday I spent about half an hour talking to the head "teacher" of that room. We talked about Jake's eating and allergies. I left feeling good.
He was to start Monday but I was off so he went yesterday for the first time. I didn't get home from work until close to ten last night and he was asleep. Grandma picked him up and no big deal. I dropped him off this morning and the person there that is over the baby room told me there had been some problems yesterday. Really, problems? The people in the toddler room didn't want to feed Jake. They didn't want to mess with baby food. I don't either but he isn't ready to move on yet as hard as I might try. I was told they said they didn't have anything thing to feed him, but all of his food went to that room when he was moved. What? I was told that Jake got brought back to the baby room to be fed because they were too busy. I was not happy. I didn't ask for him to be moved. WTF! They want to feed him the "provided" lunch. We went over the menu. There were three days this month that there was a possibility he MIGHT be able to eat their lunch, IF he was willing to eat that food. No, not going to work.
I went out to my car and cried. What am I supposed to do? This is my baby. I texted Mike a little later and said I was really upset and told him what happened. Daddy was pissed. I told him that I would have to take care of it after work and maybe we need to see what else we can do for daycare. Mike said he was going to take care of it. Oh shit! Great, am I going to have enough money to bail him out of jail? It took some time but he did take care of it. He called and talked to the assistant director. We don't even know the "new" director. She has not made a point of getting out and meeting parents. However, I have not gone and presented myself at her office either. I try to get in and out as fast as possible. So he told her what I had been told this morning. She was not very happy either. He told her that we had provided them with a big list of allergies, as that was also part of their not wanting to feed him anything. She didn't know anything about his allergies. She knew there was a child there with a lot of allergies but she didn't know how bad they are and that his diet is so restricted. She said they didn't have anything in his record about it. Hello??? When he had his testing I went in and spent a lot of time with the director then and the people taking care of him. We provided them with a video about using an epipen and an actual practice pen. No one knows anything about this now.
Thank goodness today is one of the days the allergist comes to town. Mike was able to go get another DVD and another practice pen. He ordered a special bag that hangs on the wall for the his pen and it will have all his allergy information. Mike went to take the DVD and pen up and the assistant director was looking for Jake's epipen. No where to be found. It was there last week. No where at all. She asks each person. What's an epipen? I don't know what you are talking about. EVERY time he has a "new" person we go over his allergies and his potential need for an epipen. Mommy describes what signs might be that he would be in need of such shot. Mike was mad before, but now he is livid. He and the director had a disagreement. Mike offered that he could call the state. Oh no, that isn't necessary aren't making more of this than it is. Never tell Mike to calm down. It has the opposite effect.
Mike went and talked to his dad about this. Mike's dad went and got his boss. His boss is on the board of the church. He called our minister who is the acting director of the board over the daycare. The minister had already had a call from someone that the director of the daycare was rude to a parent and that a "discussion" had occurred. The minister just didn't know which parent. The director had to come introduce herself to me and every parent. She had to apologize to me and to Mike. She had to credit us with the cost of an epipen. She had to make sure every care provider in the daycare sees the video. She has to make sure every room in the daycare had allergy information posted on Jacob. (it was in his old room!) She has to take an interpersonal skills-like class that the church offers. The minister helped search for the missing epipen. She also called Mike and apologized repeatedly. She called me at work and apologized and explained to me what was going to happen. She started to cry, I started to cry. She married us, she sat with us in the hospital when Jake had pneumonia, she held him for over an hour when we had to wait to get Jake's tubes in his ears. She goes and reads to him three times a week. She also has severe allergies herself.
What a crappy day! I trust my son with these people everyday. I trust that when I tell them something they listen. I put his life in their hands. I feel awful. I am assured that everything is in order now. I like the people there. Jake loves them. He gets so excited. He was saying the names of the people working there before he said "mama". I don't know what to do. It is my church. They have one of the best preschools in town. We don't have many options but in addition to that this was supposed to be one of the two places to get into. I still feel sick. I feel better but still.
He was to start Monday but I was off so he went yesterday for the first time. I didn't get home from work until close to ten last night and he was asleep. Grandma picked him up and no big deal. I dropped him off this morning and the person there that is over the baby room told me there had been some problems yesterday. Really, problems? The people in the toddler room didn't want to feed Jake. They didn't want to mess with baby food. I don't either but he isn't ready to move on yet as hard as I might try. I was told they said they didn't have anything thing to feed him, but all of his food went to that room when he was moved. What? I was told that Jake got brought back to the baby room to be fed because they were too busy. I was not happy. I didn't ask for him to be moved. WTF! They want to feed him the "provided" lunch. We went over the menu. There were three days this month that there was a possibility he MIGHT be able to eat their lunch, IF he was willing to eat that food. No, not going to work.
I went out to my car and cried. What am I supposed to do? This is my baby. I texted Mike a little later and said I was really upset and told him what happened. Daddy was pissed. I told him that I would have to take care of it after work and maybe we need to see what else we can do for daycare. Mike said he was going to take care of it. Oh shit! Great, am I going to have enough money to bail him out of jail? It took some time but he did take care of it. He called and talked to the assistant director. We don't even know the "new" director. She has not made a point of getting out and meeting parents. However, I have not gone and presented myself at her office either. I try to get in and out as fast as possible. So he told her what I had been told this morning. She was not very happy either. He told her that we had provided them with a big list of allergies, as that was also part of their not wanting to feed him anything. She didn't know anything about his allergies. She knew there was a child there with a lot of allergies but she didn't know how bad they are and that his diet is so restricted. She said they didn't have anything in his record about it. Hello??? When he had his testing I went in and spent a lot of time with the director then and the people taking care of him. We provided them with a video about using an epipen and an actual practice pen. No one knows anything about this now.
Thank goodness today is one of the days the allergist comes to town. Mike was able to go get another DVD and another practice pen. He ordered a special bag that hangs on the wall for the his pen and it will have all his allergy information. Mike went to take the DVD and pen up and the assistant director was looking for Jake's epipen. No where to be found. It was there last week. No where at all. She asks each person. What's an epipen? I don't know what you are talking about. EVERY time he has a "new" person we go over his allergies and his potential need for an epipen. Mommy describes what signs might be that he would be in need of such shot. Mike was mad before, but now he is livid. He and the director had a disagreement. Mike offered that he could call the state. Oh no, that isn't necessary aren't making more of this than it is. Never tell Mike to calm down. It has the opposite effect.
Mike went and talked to his dad about this. Mike's dad went and got his boss. His boss is on the board of the church. He called our minister who is the acting director of the board over the daycare. The minister had already had a call from someone that the director of the daycare was rude to a parent and that a "discussion" had occurred. The minister just didn't know which parent. The director had to come introduce herself to me and every parent. She had to apologize to me and to Mike. She had to credit us with the cost of an epipen. She had to make sure every care provider in the daycare sees the video. She has to make sure every room in the daycare had allergy information posted on Jacob. (it was in his old room!) She has to take an interpersonal skills-like class that the church offers. The minister helped search for the missing epipen. She also called Mike and apologized repeatedly. She called me at work and apologized and explained to me what was going to happen. She started to cry, I started to cry. She married us, she sat with us in the hospital when Jake had pneumonia, she held him for over an hour when we had to wait to get Jake's tubes in his ears. She goes and reads to him three times a week. She also has severe allergies herself.
What a crappy day! I trust my son with these people everyday. I trust that when I tell them something they listen. I put his life in their hands. I feel awful. I am assured that everything is in order now. I like the people there. Jake loves them. He gets so excited. He was saying the names of the people working there before he said "mama". I don't know what to do. It is my church. They have one of the best preschools in town. We don't have many options but in addition to that this was supposed to be one of the two places to get into. I still feel sick. I feel better but still.
Monday, February 09, 2009
The best ever!
For the most part our weekend sucked. Jake has been sick still and even worse than when we went to the doctor. He has had BAD diarrhea and been vomiting. He has has no appetite but has been very good about drinking his rice milk. I took him in to the doctor yesterday because he was grabbing his throat and yanking at his ears so much. She said they looked fine. I thought maybe the ear was some eczema. I was afraid the throat was his tonsils but I guess not.
The good news about this weekend is that Jake started saying "love you". It is so great!! I can't wait until it is "I love you, Mommy" but I am happy to take this! He also had his first real bubble bath this weekend. That and will come to you to give you a closed mouth kiss. I just love it. I kept thinking he was sick and I didn't care because I loved the kisses SO much!
I have today off because we only had two ORs running and I didn't want to be in either one. I'm on call tomorrow so that helped me qualify. My big boss let most of the people still come to work even though we are in a budget crisis. (we usually run five rooms and that is two nurses a room). So I went into work this morning because we had our monthly meeting and I took Jake with me. My big boss doesn't have or like kids but she wasn't too bad. Someone usually has a child or two there since we may not be scheduled to work at all or until much later that day. So anyway, the big boss left to go to a more important meeting. Jake decided to be a ham at this time and just stole the meeting. It is actually nice when the big boss leaves because we can discuss whatever bad news she just gave us and come up with a plan. Today she asked nurses to be in charge of the aides. That would be a different nurse every day. The aide that was the "charge aide" resigned and her last day is today. Okay, a nurse to do her job. Alright, so her wage was $10 an hour. Our nurses make anywhere from about $23-$34 an hour. Her reasoning is that we get our hours. That is great that the nurses get their hours but when it is busy and a nurse needs to do a nurse job than who is going to be helping with the aides because that is when they need help the most too? I don't know, I just know I don't want to do it because the aides can be very nasty when ever there is a problem. No one is ever accountable for anything! Of course I think that happens everywhere you turn... Big surprise but we also learned we know nothing about anything regarding the changes to come.
Oh and Jake slept through the night two nights in a row in his crib! He came really close last night too.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Poor me
I have a case of the weepies! AF is back and I seem to be a freaking mess. That and I am still tired from the weekend. I am worried about my job. Everyone at work is stressed out and it is causing deeper cracks in an already crumbling foundation. We keep hearing (reading) statements form "officials" that tell us how nothing is wrong and people aren't going to lose jobs but we aren't idiots. We have different volumes. We have lost doctors. It just sucks. The future is very murky.
One of my friends is having her second baby in the morning. She has been very blessed. She has bad endometriosis and she was told that she it would be very difficult for her to get pregnant, probably not possible on her own. She got pregnant without trying. She didn't even realize she was pregnant the first time until she was in the second trimester. He will be 2 in April. She got pregnant right away with number two when she thought about a second. Go figure! I am very happy for them but it stirs up my weepies. I sat and held Jake and we ate teddy.grahams together tonight and it was wonderful. I loved that moment and I thought how much it made me want another one. In the same second I was back to thinking how could I make Jake share what little time we have? I know it is silly but I just want to eat up all those minutes. I know my husband is a bit irritated with my housekeeping at the moment and it just doesn't seem important. Play with Jake or tidy over there? Read to Jake or scrub all the counter tops? My answer has been, what is wrong with your hand? Okay, those haven't been the exact words but I work as much as he does. He has more "down" time when he is home. He is home alone when he is home in the day. Don't get on my butt about it if you aren't helping. Am I wrong? I do the laundry. I do the dishes. I clean the floors once a week and I try to clean up after myself as I do whatever it is I am doing. My priority is Jake. Gee, I guess I could be cleaning right now couldn't I? But instead I will take my sorry ass to bed since Molly is ready to come in. Oh, I think Jake is allergic to Molly. His forehead was welted this morning and I don't know why. His hair was messed up and I think it was because Molly licked him. I don't know. I don't want to think about it.
One of my friends is having her second baby in the morning. She has been very blessed. She has bad endometriosis and she was told that she it would be very difficult for her to get pregnant, probably not possible on her own. She got pregnant without trying. She didn't even realize she was pregnant the first time until she was in the second trimester. He will be 2 in April. She got pregnant right away with number two when she thought about a second. Go figure! I am very happy for them but it stirs up my weepies. I sat and held Jake and we ate teddy.grahams together tonight and it was wonderful. I loved that moment and I thought how much it made me want another one. In the same second I was back to thinking how could I make Jake share what little time we have? I know it is silly but I just want to eat up all those minutes. I know my husband is a bit irritated with my housekeeping at the moment and it just doesn't seem important. Play with Jake or tidy over there? Read to Jake or scrub all the counter tops? My answer has been, what is wrong with your hand? Okay, those haven't been the exact words but I work as much as he does. He has more "down" time when he is home. He is home alone when he is home in the day. Don't get on my butt about it if you aren't helping. Am I wrong? I do the laundry. I do the dishes. I clean the floors once a week and I try to clean up after myself as I do whatever it is I am doing. My priority is Jake. Gee, I guess I could be cleaning right now couldn't I? But instead I will take my sorry ass to bed since Molly is ready to come in. Oh, I think Jake is allergic to Molly. His forehead was welted this morning and I don't know why. His hair was messed up and I think it was because Molly licked him. I don't know. I don't want to think about it.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Poor boy!
Jake is sick again. He has a sinus infection and bronchitis. I took him to the doctor on Friday and his symptoms got a lot worse after! He hardly ate all weekend. He drank tons, but literally only had a few bites on Saturday and Sunday. I worked 21 hours on Saturday so Jake and Mike were home together. At least for Mike's sake, Jake slept a lot and didn't do much since he was so sick. He also has had a fever since about two hours after we left the doctors office. It sadly worked in my favor Sunday too. I needed sleep and Jake and I laid around and napped together a good part of the day.
Yesterday I was off and Jake was doing a bit better. I was really glad to be off though because he still had a fever and they won't take him with a temp over 100. This morning his temp was down to 100.1 before any fever reducers. They told me he would be okay to go to daycare and when he gets tylenol he is back to himself. It was good to seem him play yesterday after he has really not been doing much. He has been very smugly which is nice.
But since he doesn't feel good, he needs comfort. And to him that means he wants to nurse. He has been almost assaulting his poor old mom! I feel bad for him, but I don't have anything to offer. I just snuggle him and rock him.
I kept thinking they would call today and tell me I needed to come get Jake. They never did. I hope the same goes for tomorrow, because I have no back up! Today I had two. He threw up on me tonight but I think that is because he gagged when he choked on a piece of food. He was eating off my plate and so he threw up ALL OVER ME!!! I didn't get sick and I am so proud of that.
Yesterday I was off and Jake was doing a bit better. I was really glad to be off though because he still had a fever and they won't take him with a temp over 100. This morning his temp was down to 100.1 before any fever reducers. They told me he would be okay to go to daycare and when he gets tylenol he is back to himself. It was good to seem him play yesterday after he has really not been doing much. He has been very smugly which is nice.
But since he doesn't feel good, he needs comfort. And to him that means he wants to nurse. He has been almost assaulting his poor old mom! I feel bad for him, but I don't have anything to offer. I just snuggle him and rock him.
I kept thinking they would call today and tell me I needed to come get Jake. They never did. I hope the same goes for tomorrow, because I have no back up! Today I had two. He threw up on me tonight but I think that is because he gagged when he choked on a piece of food. He was eating off my plate and so he threw up ALL OVER ME!!! I didn't get sick and I am so proud of that.
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