I made it!

It could have been much worse, but it could have been better. We worked until about noon yesterday and then didn't get a call to go back in until 2317. I was dead asleep. I was having really weird dreams about flying and being chased. Hmm... wonder what I was reading before I fell asleep??

The bad thing was that it was for an ectopic pregnancy. It made me sad and I felt bad having to go get her and bring her to surgery with my giant belly in her face. Ruptured ectopic pregnancies can truly be life threatening. There can be a tremendous amount of blood loss into the belly in a short period of time. This is was one of the worst ones I have seen. I was extremely glad that my OB was the one doing the surgery. He is the very best we have and excellent at his job. Our other OB's are good, but everyone involved was relieved he was the doctor doing the surgery with the seriousness of the situation. He is so calm and never gets to excited. He does get whiny about things but I have NEVER seen him loss his cool in a harried situation. That is part of why he is MY doctor.

So we left at 0200 this morning and had to go back to work at 0630. Have I mentioned before how much my charge nurse pisses me off?? There were more Rn's not in rooms are there were rooms running. There was absolutely no reason I should have even had to come to work today. I should not have had to stay until my room was finished a little after 1300 because an additional three Rn's came in as late shifts. What a bitch! I have so much stuff I need to do as a coordinator for both GYN and Plastics and I had to be in a room. That was just ridiculous!

Not another call for at least ten weeks. I am so looking forward to that! I am so stinking tired but it is too hot to sleep. My back is just killing me so much of the time now. It is so hard to breathe. Jake just feels huge. My belly is huge! I gained four pounds this last time from one ob visit to the next (that was three weeks) and I feel like it was all in my face. My face has always been round, but holy crap is it worse. I am having a lot more trouble talking again right now and I don't know if it is because of the muscles that are currently trying to regain function or because of the added fat to the already weak side of my face. It is very frustrating, because things had been doing better, well, kind of at least.

I just keep wondering how much longer I am going to be able to make this. I can't bend over any more. I am so stinking hot. I am uncomfortable most of the time. And yet I am still hoping that I will make it three more weeks. I don't know I will be able to live with myself by then, but it will make things easier for us if I can make it to 39 weeks. I'm still believe that my body will hold on to this child for longer than that, like 41 weeks or so, but I don't know about my sanity! I can't help but worrying about so many things. I have been having a lot of bad dreams again and I don't want eat anything that is good for me except fruit. I am so worried about getting things done at work and my boss and charge nurse aren't helping. I sure wish I didn't have to go back! When my husband actually can and does work he really does get paid well. I can just see that we won't be able to count on what amount his checks will be for a long, long time. Well, I need to waddle my fat ass up the basement stairs (which is getting extremely hard to do) and go to the bathroom before Jake bouncing around in there makes me pee myself!