Tomorrow is the the day I turn in my resignation. My boss was gone all of last week so that wasn't even an option. I am a freaking wreck. I really don't want to leave, but I don't want my job as it stands. I am very anxious to step out of my comfort zone, but this is my family we are talking about so I will do whatever I need to do. I've just been a mess today. Crying, at total crab, sick to my stomach, unable to complete just about everything I start. Mike is going to work sometime tonight so he wont even be home tomorrow night at all. I just feel like a deserter. I am afraid people won't ever talk to me again. I don't have that many good friends outside of work so that makes it kind of lonely. I know most of them will understand. I'm just not going to be able to see them that much. I mean, I know what it is like, they are always WORKING. On the rare occasion that we go out for a drink after work when we get out in a timely fashion, I won't be able to go because I will still be working. It just feels lonely already and I haven't told them yet.
Well, hopefully my nightmares that Jake is left trapped at daycare and I am trapped in surgery will stop. It is so horrible trying to figure out who is going to pick him up this day and that and who will be with us when I'm on call so we aren't alone. I've narrowly escaped having my name drawn to cover the day's call when the person that was supposed to be on call was home sick. I just can't do that. The day I got it Mike happened to be home and it worked out. It takes lots of planning for me to be on call.
I just wish I could bake up a storm right now or purge tons and tons of crap from my house. I do need to do that, but today isn't the day for either. Jake has been sick. Viral tonsillitis. He has been sick for several days. He has been so naughty when he feels okay and then he gets a high fever and just wants Mommy. He seems to be doing better today. His fever has been down. I hope the same is true for tomorrow because I have to go to work. I don't go to work until 11 anyway. Maybe if he has a fever in the morning I can give him Motrin and it will be down long enough to be in daycare before Grandma picks him up. I do have to go to a meeting at 6:30 and Jake has to go with me.
I can't even get my thoughts together! Thank goodness I wrote my resignation letter yesterday!!!!
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2 comments:
I hope your resignation went well! Are you getting excited? Lots of changes ahead.
Hoping all went well!! I know the stress of waiting for the moment can be so much worse then the actual moment. Hope the weight has lifted and you are feeling much better :)
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