Really?

I know that I am in a funk, okay, a depression right now. I am working to pick my self up and enjoy this time of year. I know I need to do a better job of enjoying all my time with Jake. I know once the time is past it is past so I need to do better about taking in the moment. Anyway, that isn't my beef. Right now my personal issue with everyone is to think or just shut their freaking mouths. I will probably explode on the next person who says "don't you think you should be thinking about a second one now?" I have been sick, really sick. I have had a cough for more than four weeks that turned into pneumonia last week. I just had a cough, a dry annoying cough so I didn't go to the Dr until I got sick. Well, this week I had a couple of really rough days at work. I mean I was light headed, diaphoretic, just not looking so good - a combination of being sick and being anemic from AF. I believe I was asked about 100 times, seriously, if I was pregnant. I just can't take it.

Can't people mind their own f'ing business. I mean, I don't know if I am going to yell or burst into tears. I mean you just can't sit down and discuss your reproductive issues with everyone. Maybe I should and they would get the point to back off. People just don't get it. I know my issues are much less significant than others but I'm certainly not one of those people that gets pregnant without trying. I'm scared, I guess. What if it takes a year again? What if we have to do more? How am I going to be able to deal with these people??? For crapsake, yesterday the people giving me a hard time were friends - an OB and a nurse for the GYN that specializes in infertility. What if? What if? What if? My little mind is so fragile right now, but time is not my friend (as I was reminded) and I can't take anymore time to try to straighten myself out. I'm scared. I don't know what to do, but I do know that the next person that says something to me might really regret it!!!