Wait, we are still here!

Wow, not even one little post in May, not even a whine about my birthday. I survived. It feels like that is what we do - survive. We both still have jobs. Our hours haven't been affected too much lately. We have had a lot of surgeries. My temporary boss has greatly expanded my job duties as a service coordinator. I don't mind, but it is hard to get done what I need to do while I am still doing the rest of my job. I am slightly irritated that I only have the potential to make $80 more a pay period for doing this than coworkers that do as little as possible. I have a lot of responsibilities. However, I know that I would be laughed at if I asked for more compensation since we are still being told to be thankful for the hours we have.

Mike is still home!!!! We really didn't think he would make it past the middle of May, but he is still here. The railroad did a whole bunch of track work near us and that meant more jobs temporarily in the area. Mike heard this week that they set up 25 more trains. That is great news, sort of. Last I knew, he didn't know how many people were getting their jobs back. Rumor was that it was only going to be about six people. That just means the people that still have jobs just have to work more. I suppose that is okay. It keeps us with a paycheck, right? I was hoping it would be more people would get their jobs back and that would put just a little more space between Mike and the bottom of the list. The most important thing about 25 more trains is that it means they need more coal. That means things are maybe, just maybe, starting to turn around. It gives us hope that there just might be another 10, 15, 25 or more trains in the future. We are not relaxing with this by any means but we have a glimmer of hope.

Of course the most important thing in our lives is our sweet little monster. Is he that bad? No, but it sure feels like the terrible twos are hovering near. There are frequent fits and lots of NO mama's and even worse are the no daddy's. Daddy has a harder time understanding that this is just part of the age. There are time-outs for that and hitting fairly often. I definitely feel a battle of the wills coming in our near future. I mean big battles. We get frustrated at such a willful little boy, but I keep asking Mike what he thought we were going to get! I think it has helped Mike see that he isn't our little baby anymore. That has been something Mike has been refusing to see.

Jake talks about none stop. Again, I'm not sure where he got that. He says lots of sentences now. I mean real sentences with verbs and everything. We (he and I) still get frustrated trying to communicate what he wants sometimes. I just don't know what "this" is sometimes. He signs "more" and says "this" and gets very frustrated that I don't what he wants.

Jake is still a terrible, terrible eater. I am so frustrated. He will not give up baby food. There are days that is the only thing he will eat. The most difficult thing is that there is only one kind of food that he wants now. Over time he has stopped eating the other flavors and will only eat this one. He will literally eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. It could be worse right? I mean it is a dinner so it has veggies and meat. He could only be eating applesauce or something. I hate it. I am so ready to be done with this crap. I keep exhausting the town's supply of this variety. I have asked stores to order it for me and they won't. That really surprised me. I am willing to pay up front. We haven't been able to find it online either. Last weekend I went to six stores and only came up with 11 jars. That is a big problem. I went to one today and they had nothing again. He will just not eat and have milk or juice if you don't have his "ninner." Just recently he has started asking for beans. I can't figure out what he means for beans. I have given him everything I can think of and I asked at daycare and they don't know either what beans mean.

I wish I could say Jake's sleeping has improved but I can't. It has from eight months ago I suppose. He generally sleeps through the night 2 maybe 3 nights a week. He let me sleep in just a little one day this week. He still throws up if you leave him in his crib to cry. Actually, Mike needs to clean the carpet right now from two nights ago. This is something that causes a lot of stress for us. Mike puts him in bed and says I can't get him. He finally caves and then I have to clean up the whole damn mess. I have had to give Jake a bath after 10 because he has gotten so sick. This makes me very angry with Mike.

Potty training? Not exactly. I still try to put Jake on the potty chair before his bath if he is willing. He asks to sit on it several times a day but he rarely actually goes in the chair. He seems to understand though. He asks when you go to change his diaper. (I just love to hear him say diaper. It seems to have syllables).

Here is my beautiful iris. I planted a ton of them last year and a few did bloom this year. This is the first. It has had a total of seven blossoms on that stalk. I didn't realize they could have that many. I do so love iris.
I am going to have to try harder. It is therapeutic to write so I should do it more right? Sometimes you just don't want to actually but the words down because that makes them real. You don't want to admit to yourself the situation.