Eleven months!

We had a busy weekend. I feel like I got a fair amount accomplished. I still don't feel very settled here and it bothers me. There are still a lot of boxes that need to be unpacked. The thing that bothers me the most is not having pictures up on the walls. We kept waiting to decide where to put what and I gave up and just started putting things up. There are some pictures in the hall that need to be rehung but they are up for now. The people who lived here before left a lot of nails up. I can't believe how high all their stuff was hung. The tallest person in the family was no taller than me at 5'5".

That makes it feel a bit more like home but I don't know. I just don't know where to put everything and Mike isn't being much help. I don't know why I thought it would be any different unpacking than it was packing, but somehow I thought he would help me more. I'm just having a really hard time with stuff not have a permanent place and needing to still do so many things. I really want to jump in and start doing work to the house and yard, but I just don't think I can do that yet until stuff has a home.

I did take care of one thing outside. We have a narrow flower bed that runs along the front walk. It is pretty long and it wraps around the front step and continues along the front of the house. I pulled all of the volunteer stuff and mulch up out of the area to the door and I planted irises. I have always loved irises and I have wanted my own. I bought a ton of them and got about half planted. The next area I need to work on has nasty white rock and the black weed barrier that didn't seem to work. It looked stupid because these two areas meet. So I will pick up all the rock, pull up the black stuff, and continue the irises along the front of the house. I spaced them out like you are supposed to, but some day it will be like a fence between our front walk (which is really wide enough to be called a patio) and the yard.

I still can't help but be in a funk. I am feeling very lonely for some reason. Mike has been working a ton and it feels like I have been too. I never seem to get to spend the time I would like with Jake and he can be so much fun right now. He will just giggle and giggle when we play. We went swimming in a kiddie pool I got him and he loved it. I don't know if I could handle being home all the time with Jake, but I sure feel like I miss so much. That makes me sad. He will be eleven months tomorrow. Eleven months! Crap, where has the last year gone??? I'm trying to figure out what we will do for a birthday party and I can't decided how many people to invite and which people. I can't decide what I want to get him as a present.

(I try and try to get this little boy to wear a hat outside and he rips it off in a split second. But he will wear it for half and hour while he is playing in the house!)