Oh boy

Wow, has there been a lot going on. Well by boss came up with another job for me. A unit manager position opened up for one of our other units. That would be the equal of my charge nurse (unit manager) that has been, well, we've gone there in the past. There are a couple of issues with this. I have never worked in that department. I haven't done that job. How am I supposed to be the manager??? The other women in the department have been there for years. They would have to teach me how to do the job. Does that make sense? Only one of them wants to work full time. I think she should have the job. I wouldn't be opposed to going and working there as one of the nurses, but if that job was posted (as it would have to be) there would be much more qualified applicants than me. The second thing there would be a pay raise involved, but that would be because of the increased duties! Ok, if someone wants to pay me more that would be great, but it isn't because I want to have to do any more responsibilities. I don't need MORE responsibilities and I mean a lot more.

Last Monday I told my coworkers I was leaving at meeting where my boss could be there to say she tried to keep me. No one said anything at the meeting. It took a bit for people to start saying anything to me about it. There were only two people that made bitchy comments to my face and they weren't even that bad it was just the presentation. They wanted to know how I found out about that job. I was honest and told them I was told there would be a job and applied when it became an opening and told them it was open for at least four weeks. That hushed them up. One of them even asked me later if I needed an assistant because she would go with me. Really, people have been very understanding. I have cried a freaking ton this week. People keep taking me aside and telling me how much they will miss me and how no one will ever do my job as well as I can. I had to tell each of the doctors that I specialize with and that was hard. I couldn't talk to them much because of the tears. They all understood. Who better knows how hard it is to be on call with a family than an OB doctor? The doctor who was supposed to have delivered Jake was so nice. He gave me a hug and told me not to worry. Maybe we wouldn't get to work together in surgery anymore but I wouldn't be leaving him behind. He would be my boss now. He was teasing me but actually he was telling the truth. He is the president over combined group of offices. So it is true.

Anyway, I have had many people say many nice things. It is hard. I feel like I am leaving a great big family. There are some nasty uncles and CRAZY cousins, but overall it is a good family. So this week begins my last and that will be hard. My last full week. My last weekend. I have already worked my last late shift (not sad). Of course my last call - the whole two days of it next weekend. I won't miss that either. But I am sad. It is making it very hard to try and get excited about a new job and a new opportunity. I really wish I had a few days off before starting. Some time to reset. But that isn't how it works, of course, so I will jump in and not dwell.

I have been working hard to tie up loose ends. I have been writing many many many emails telling people that I am leaving. I got a very nice message from one of my reps. He told me what a good job I did as a service coordinator and that I could easily step into that role at a larger hospital and that he hopes that I am able to go back to it someday. That is always a possibility sometime in the future. I have had many people tell me that I am welcome to come back (except my boss). I still have a lot to do and I hope I can get it all done. My charge nurse isn't being too terrible, but she is giving me some big assignments and that makes it hard to try and get the other things I need to get done. Our department has a meeting tomorrow and I am hoping to find there is someone else willing to take on my service because I have things I need to pass on. I have been doing what I can with the offices and reps and stuff, but they want another name. I don't blame them. Someone has to do the job.

So this week is going to be harder than last. But, I will make it. Oh, plus last week was my birthday and that is always hard for me. Mike did a pretty good job with that. He didn't get me my shoes I really wanted but I will get them eventually.