What does this mean

I had an annual appointment a few weeks ago and I tried to get the new prescription I got filled. She told me when she gave it to me that it I could get it filled for super cheap and then I wouldn't have to mess with my insurance (she knows how difficult my insurance is). I took it in to Wal*greens and I explained it to the girl and she said no problem. I waited and waited. The lady behind the register calls me up and says it will be sixty something dollars. Are you kidding me?!? So I said wait a minute. This is a generic drug and blah blah blah. She said my insurance won't pay and nasty nasty something. I said it wasn't supposed to go through my insurance and what about these supper inexpensive prescriptions you are supposed to be able to get here. Well, you have to get a card for that and this and that and blah. Okay so it isn't like what they say on the commercials. That and I came home and called this women a "c" word that I NEVER say. She was so nasty. I didn't take the pills and I made her give me the prescription back so I could send it in to my insurance. I was so mad. Then a few days later I went to get the paper and I had lost it. I looked every where. So the next time I saw her at work I explained what happened and she wrote me another script. Then I buried that one under a stack of papers. I have never lost a prescription in my life and I lost this one twice. Well, I found both of them and I finally got the paper work filled out and sent in today.

So anyway. Am I purposefully trying to not get the birth control pills that I specifically went in to get? Is this something subconscious? That didn't dawn on me until yesterday. Am I trying to not take them? Hmmm... I have been thinking about another baby a lot but I think we need to wait awhile still. Am I unintentionally trying to foil my own plan? Or is it that I have had such a severe blood loss that I just simply can't function properly. I'm not able to carry enough oxygen in my blood to get my brain working properly. We will see now how many weeks it takes for them to get here and what troubles I have with my prescription company. I do need to get my body straightened out though because I feel terrible.

I saw something that troubled me today. I saw this absolutely beautiful couple biking down the side of a busy road. He was gorgeous. Then I saw how pretty she was. Wow. Then I saw the baby strapped to her chest???? Does this seem wrong to anyone else???? She was maybe three months old. Am I wrong? Is this a normal thing to do? I couldn't believe it. I couldn't imagine getting on a bike with a baby strapped to ME. I don't know maybe it is the anemia again.