What does this mean

I had an annual appointment a few weeks ago and I tried to get the new prescription I got filled. She told me when she gave it to me that it I could get it filled for super cheap and then I wouldn't have to mess with my insurance (she knows how difficult my insurance is). I took it in to Wal*greens and I explained it to the girl and she said no problem. I waited and waited. The lady behind the register calls me up and says it will be sixty something dollars. Are you kidding me?!? So I said wait a minute. This is a generic drug and blah blah blah. She said my insurance won't pay and nasty nasty something. I said it wasn't supposed to go through my insurance and what about these supper inexpensive prescriptions you are supposed to be able to get here. Well, you have to get a card for that and this and that and blah. Okay so it isn't like what they say on the commercials. That and I came home and called this women a "c" word that I NEVER say. She was so nasty. I didn't take the pills and I made her give me the prescription back so I could send it in to my insurance. I was so mad. Then a few days later I went to get the paper and I had lost it. I looked every where. So the next time I saw her at work I explained what happened and she wrote me another script. Then I buried that one under a stack of papers. I have never lost a prescription in my life and I lost this one twice. Well, I found both of them and I finally got the paper work filled out and sent in today.

So anyway. Am I purposefully trying to not get the birth control pills that I specifically went in to get? Is this something subconscious? That didn't dawn on me until yesterday. Am I trying to not take them? Hmmm... I have been thinking about another baby a lot but I think we need to wait awhile still. Am I unintentionally trying to foil my own plan? Or is it that I have had such a severe blood loss that I just simply can't function properly. I'm not able to carry enough oxygen in my blood to get my brain working properly. We will see now how many weeks it takes for them to get here and what troubles I have with my prescription company. I do need to get my body straightened out though because I feel terrible.

I saw something that troubled me today. I saw this absolutely beautiful couple biking down the side of a busy road. He was gorgeous. Then I saw how pretty she was. Wow. Then I saw the baby strapped to her chest???? Does this seem wrong to anyone else???? She was maybe three months old. Am I wrong? Is this a normal thing to do? I couldn't believe it. I couldn't imagine getting on a bike with a baby strapped to ME. I don't know maybe it is the anemia again.

Whew...

Another test down! This week has been brutal at work! We have had huge schedules and we have two RN's out with back injuries. Yesterday and today I have been out at a class. I know it is a class that many people take all the time and it isn't a big deal, but it was to me! It was Advanced Cardiac Life Support and it is not an easy class. The teachers were great however and treated it differently than the last class I took. We had to take a written test on our own put the practical part we did in groups and that was great. We each had to answer individual questions but each one of us didn't have to run through an entire code all on our own. So I passed. That means two classes with two certifications down. Now all I have to do is take a big nasty test next month that is my specialty certification. It will be hard, however, it all pertains directly to the job I do (or how we should be doing it) each and every day. It is very detailed and long, but hopefully it will go well. I am glad to be back to studying something that is more in my comfort zone.












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Interesting...

I didn't have a fit this morning at the meeting. (my boss is insane by the way). We all left feeling frustrated and mad. So that is just like normal. Little got resolved and many got mad! The person that bothers me the most (actually two of the items on the agenda were because of her) didn't show up. Her shift started later so she didn't come. Of course, if she has half a brain (that may be the whole problem) she should have figured out that SHE was the problem. So we still all started the day in a bad mood because again nothing got fixed.

On an even worse note, we are supposed to be getting our pictures taken in the morning for Christmas but our photographer is really sick! Her assistant warned us this morning that they may have to cancel and she would let us know for sure this afternoon. We are waiting on pins and needles. Our only hope is that she might give herself one more day to get better and reschedule for Sunday otherwise it is a no go for us. We only had a week to get our orders back because otherwise she wouldn't be able to get them out in time. This was part of our Christmas presents to family! We can't get in anywhere else and get the same thing we are getting from her. I am hoping for a miraculous recovery. I know she loads these days and it would be hard if she were sick. I also know she won't cancel unless she really really needs to. I guess it will be what it will be! We were hoping to put off pictures again until Jake is two after this session.

I know I have whined a lot about my job but I am so close to quitting. I keep having days that I am having to really work hard to not just walk out. That obviously isn't a good way to handle things! I still like the work and most of the people I work with. It is just a few nasty ones that have just about pushed me over the edge. I don't understand how there can be such different expectations on behavior from one person to the next and why one person can be so incredibly lazy and her opinion seems to matter more than anyone else's. Anyway, I am just frustrated. We have a meeting first thing in the morning and we are going to talk about some of the things we are frustrated about. I don't think it will go well. I hope I can in fact make it through the meeting.

On another note, we are having our first snow of the season. The wind is horrendous and it is so cold. I didn't break out Jake's winter coat this morning because I need to rework his car seat straps to fit him in there. Is that a bad mom? He had a long sleeve shirt, a sweater and a sweatshirt on. He was only outside from the time to get to the car into daycare which wasn't even a minute. But on the way home we had to stop at the store and that was a bit longer.

I am having a lot of problems making Jake angry right now. You see, what ever I have he wants. Like the hot chocolate I have at the moment. He, of course, can't have it. Or pizza, or pretty much anything that crosses my husband's lips. I guess it means we need to be eating a better diet but it is hard.

Busy times

We have been so busy the past few weeks. I worked late shifts one week so we could do swimming lessons the next two weeks. It is amazing how a 30 minute class can manage to take up the whole evening, or so it seems. Jake would have to eat early. Then hurry up and get everything packed and loaded (I started that while he was eating). Then get us into the car and drive there during what is busy traffic for us. We would have to park way far away and walk. Then get it and get changed and hurry out to the pool. He loved it though even if the whine factor was horrendous during the changing before and the showering and getting dressed after. He loved his teacher too. She was pretty! I also took a two day trauma nursing course. In some ways it was challenging for me because it uses skill I don't use very often and then in other ways I had more hands on experience than some of the nurses. It was not easy. It was extremely hard to sit in a chair for two days. I haven't had to take too many tests lately and I had some significant test anxiety. I almost had to slap myself!

Jake was a stinker come Halloween. Actually, I don't think he was feeling all that well. I really think the change in schedule with swimming was catching up to him. He has had a bit of a fever yesterday and today. He has also been drooling like crazy and had diarrhea. What does that sound like to you? To me it sounds like teething, but he can't get anymore teeth. Well, he can but he only has four baby teeth left to get and he really shouldn't get those molars for at least a year.

We did go visit a few houses and grab a few treats. They were treats that were specially planned for Jake. We didn't make it very many places and he was getting awfully worn out. Maybe next year we will make it around the neighborhood to show off, not that he will be able to eat the candy, but still.

Last weekend we did make it to a corn maze and we had a good time. It took longer to drive there and back than it did to go through the maze but it was fun. It was really nice to get to do something as a family.

Yesterday was the first day we really had to hire a babysitter, actually two. I had to work and was on call. Mike had to work and my mom was moving. So it had some glitches but it worked. I hardly worked at all. I literally paid the two sitters more than I made for the day. Oh well. I have so much to say but a little whiner needs to be taken care of so it will have to be another time.