Happy New Year

Okay, I have been a delinquent blogger and I felt like I needed to get my total up to 75 for the year so just a few words. Happy New Year to everyone. I hope this next year brings you at least as much love and joy as this past year.

I have been trying to update the look of my blog, but darn it all if I'm not an idiot! I have tried a few times and I can't get it to all work right. I can't even pretend to be good at that stuff. I can barely muster to add the littlest extra thing. I may give up and PAY for help. I know that is bad because I am cheap!

Everyone keep blogging because I miss you all! I love to see your little ones faces and hear about the latest things in your/their life. I understand it is hard to find time. I haven't been good myself. I have managed to have a tremendous amount of time off this month and I LOVE it. Next week is going to be hard because it is the first week, I think, that I will have to work 5 days since the week after Thanksgiving! We will be experiencing significant cutbacks at work and I am actually hoping that I will get some of my hours cut. I can't believe it and I really can't afford it but I would absolutely love it. I feel so much better when I get to spend more time with Jake (even though he is really being a pill today!). I know that isn't a good thing - the economy taking a dump and all, but I am a happier Mommy! It will work out, I know it.

My poor boy or not

I felt horribly guilty leaving my baby at daycare today to go to work. He sounded horrible. I brought him into our bed about midnight and he propped himself up on my pillow to sleep. Right in the middle of my pillow pushing me completely off. But he sounded terrible to listen to him. I kept thinking I should take him to the hospital or at least blow the nebulizer by him as he slept. But I didn't. Instead I tried to contort myself into an impossibly small space and crazy angles. There would have been more room if I had moved over to the middle of the bed but I didn't want him on the outside. I kept moving him over but he moved himself right back. I wanted him to sleep so I suffered.

So mommy started the day tired. Mike actually got up and helped me get Jake ready this morning which was awesome. I appreciated his help so much. I got a shower and Mike got him a breathing treatment. He sounded terrible. I kept expecting to get a call at work today telling me I needed to come get him. He never had a fever. His cough is unproductive. Most of his coughing is right after he wakes up. But he sounds bad just to hear him breathe and he is so raspy and hoarse. He was also a bit on the lethargic side this morning.

Some point in the day that seemed to change however and he turned into a little spit fire! He was just into everything once we got home would not cooperate (ha! he is a toddler!) at all. I was getting very frustrated. He wanted a snack but he didn't want whatever I gave him. He was thirsty and asked for juice but didn't want it. He wanted up; he wanted down. I just didn't know what to do for him. He hadn't pooped all day so he of course saved up for me. I took him in and changed him and made a mess of myself. I set him on his bedroom floor and went into my bathroom to wash myself up. When I came out I found him in the kitchen.

He had pulled a brand new box of garbage bags Mike bought today off the kitchen counter and onto the floor. (now why they are on the counter is another story since that isn't where they go and if Mike had looked there he would have found a box more than half full). He was quite proud of himself as noted by the smile in this picture.Behind him was this pile of bags on the floor. As I started cleaning them up, he was shaking and shaking a bag and he walked over to the garbage and threw it away. So I went over to the garbage and found at least half a dozen more brand new bags he threw away!

So I tried to feed him dinner when he kept telling me he was hungry. He wouldn't eat anything I tried to give him. So I took him out of his chair. He came into the living room and played. He kept walking over by the Christmas tree and he started moving around the few packages we have left under the tree. He balanced them up on end. I was impressed. We have been playing with blocks a lot and he was carrying the concept across. I have a genius, I am thinking. So I got up to get the camera. When I get back he is finally ripping into packages the way I wanted him to on Christmas. But these aren't his and now I have to re wrap. Oh well, it could be worse. I let him finish once he started because I have to wrap them again anyway, right?

So it is getting late enough that I am hungry and I make myself a quesadilla with smoked turkey and raspberry jalapeno jam. I thought it sounded good and it was, but Jake now wanted some. Well, he couldn't have any. Aside from the jalapenos I have all that cheese. He doesn't understand that. He just know you won't give him any food. So I put him in his chair and got him more food. He played with it and asked for food. He threw it on the floor and asked for food. He ended up eating baby food prunes and a few pretzels and I think that is it. He really didn't need the prunes, but he likes them. So he went straight from the high chair to the tub.

I was so frustrated. I got him ready for bed and we sat in the recliner and he longingly rub his "booboos" and kept trying to get his hand into my bra and eventually passed out. Then I remember I didn't give him a breathing treatment so I now feel guilty!

Mike took this picture yesterday. You can still see where he fell and split his chin open 3?weeks ago. You can still see traces of where he tripped over a toy and gave himself a shiner.

Here was fun with applesauce on Saturday. Below you can see I actually captured when the little devil sneaks out and I understand why he does the things he does!!

What? Not again already!

Jake is teething again. I didn't think it was possible but I guess I was wrong. He has been drooling a lot and cranky (he's cranky a lot) and sticking his fingers in his mouth all the time. Well, Mike kept saying it had to be more teeth. I stuck my finger in his mouth today and I was shocked to feel another molar. The other three are rearing their ugly heads too. That brings us to Jake age, gulp, 16 months (already?) and having 17 teeth!!! I have asked a couple of dentists and they both said that even though he got baby teeth early his permanent teeth shouldn't come early. I hope that is true. I don't want a great big man with itty bitty teeth! Jake has a bad cough and I think his throat is sore. He sure sounds like his adenoids are swollen right now. Poor baby! I have been giving him frequent breathing treatments because the cough is bad. He doesn't have a fever or a runny nose though.

Well, we flunked our first week of weaning. I got really sick on Tuesday and Mike convinced me I should nurse so I could get some sleep that night. I did and then the rest of the week was shot. However, he hasn't nursed since last Sunday. It is harder now that he doesn't feel good. He is really whining but he stops and will take a bottle. Okay, so we did give him a bottle back. He has been off a bottle for several months and that wasn't a big deal at all. So I gave that back in order to save myself. He only gets it when he would have nursed so it is just pretty much at night or before his nap when we are home for nap time. He seems to be doing pretty well. I'm pretty uncomfortable however. This bcp doesn't seem to be helping like I was told it would. Hopefully it will hope get my body straightened out though. I have really been hearing a voice in the back of my head saying "when will we try for #2?" I know it is getting closer. I still wish I could spend more time just soaking Jake up. He is just changing so fast. He isn't a baby anymore and, God help me, I do want to go through that again. But I have to get my body straightened around some so I can even try. I talked to an OB this week and was told we may have to start off with clom.id this time. We'll see. We aren't there quite yet. I'm still going to be excited about the weaning at the moment and wait and see if my body starts cooperating.

Happy New Year's to everyone!

Happy Holidays!

I have to say "happy holidays" since Christmas has already past. That is something I don't say often because I much prefer to say to recognize Christmas. Anyway, I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Ours went pretty well. We had a few glitches and I had a few near murder experiences but all in all it was great. Mike made it home in the early hours which we didn't think would happen so we were just so happy he could be with us. Jake had a bad night Christmas Eve and was pretty tired most of Christmas day. I was a little disappointed that he wasn't more excited. I was really hoping he would rip into his presents this year, but he didn't. I'm sure he will next year though. He was funny. I would open something and he would carry it away so that a grandparent could remove the item from the packaging. Then he would look at it and move on. He likes flashlights and both grandpa and daddy gave him one of his very own!

My mother decided that she would start feeding Jake marshmallows (she asked me after he was hooked). He knew they were up there and was asking for "cracker". He says "cracker" when he is hungry. He will identify some foods when he sees them but "cracker" means FEED ME!

He thought this pan liner was another of his instruments. He walked around blowing and blowing on it!

He got a recorder from Santa and he loved it. He figured it out right away. He also decided this big box was one of his toys and a place to take a rest. He wouldn't take a nap but he kept crawling up on this box and putting he cheek down and tucking his arms and legs under him with his butt sticking up in the air. It was cute, but when you tried to take him to bed... Well it didn't work.

Look at this smug face! This is Mike's first self portrait with my new Christmas present. He acted like it was a surprise that I was getting a camera. I seem to remember it more like a threat. You will get me a new camera or I will...

Jake got a guitar from Santa and he loved it. He is totally into everything musical. It amazes us to see him dance every time he hears music. I mean because he just does it. It isn't something he was taught. As if we didn't know, our little boy has a mind of his own!

Our new Christmas tree with ornaments hung just above little hand level. He did well with the tree for the most part. I had one ornament broken because it was too low and he pulled the tinsel off just once before any ornaments were put on the tree.

Grandma and Grandpa got him a chair with his name on it. He wants to climb up into it himself only he can't quite do it. I see this as a problem for awhile. He is going to pull this over onto himself trying to get into it or out of it until he gets a little bigger. He already has a shiner from whacking his eye with a toy last week and he keeps splitting his lip open. We can't get one thing healed up before he injures himself again. He sure is a toddler taking on the world!

He was staking his crackers on the top of his juice cup. It was funny and yippee!! he is finally drinking apple juice!

He is really into putting things on his head and walking around right now. Hmm, did I mention black eye and many split lips? But for Pete's sake don't tell him no and take it away!

We went to a Christmas parade back at Thanksgiving time. He can barely move in his winter coat. I think it might fit next year!

Whew

Things have been... well, I don't know. The end of the year is the busiest time of year for surgery. People want to get things taken care of they have put off. They have met their deductibles and so they need to have their surgeries. They may need to use their time off before the end of the year or they will lose it. One thing we see is that it is farmer or rancher and it is the off season so they get their backs fixed or their hernias fixed or their Lap.Bands placed. Whatever, it is nuts. We are each supposed to be cutting our hours and watching the clock but then we are expected to stay late all the time. Whatever. We got an email that told us in this time of recession the costs to provide health care are up and the revenues are down so as of the first of the year there will be a significant increase in the cost of health insurance. In the next paragraph it said they didn't know when they could consider giving us cost of living, let alone market raises. This wouldn't be so bad if the hospital hadn't just bought the majority of the doctors' practices and the free standing surgery center that has already put so much turmoil in our lives. Great. When they did this they decided to redo all the marketing for the hospital. Every sign, every single paper, all the pamphlets, EVERYTHING had to be changed. They changed EVERY clock in the hospital so that they have the new logo. There are more than twenty clocks in just my department. I can come up with 25 without thinking hard. But there is no money for raises and they don't know when there will be. Really.

Anyway so that has been a bit stressful. Mike has been working insane hours. He has been averaging 23 hours or less home and 24 hours gone. He used to be home 36 hours or so. He is a person that needs his sleep too. It is nothing for him to sleep twelve hours or more at a time. I can't tell you what I would do to get eight or even six! It has been hard with daddy being gone so much. Jake sure does love his daddy!

However, last week I finished all my tests. I took my specialty certification test. I had been trying to study everyday some for a long time and I have been trying to take care of the house. It was the hardest test I have ever taken in my life. It was much harder than the test I took to get my nursing licence. In some ways that makes sense since it is supposed to mean that you are highly proficient at a particular specialty so the focus is much more narrow than all of nursing. I knew it would be difficult but I wasn't expecting it to be quite that difficult. The good thing was that I got to take it here in town. That is a very recent change. I thought I was going to have to go about 3.5 hours away which makes it a lot more challenging. I was worried about the weather and it was bad the day of test. I was able to take Jake to daycare and then I tried to relax for a bit and I drove about five miles across town and that was it. Thankfully it even told me right then and their that I passed. THANK GOD!!! I don't want to go through that again. It was very expensive and time consuming. But I did learn a lot. I learned a lot of things that I wish I had learned years ago. I will say that I believe my years of experiences really helped on the test at least as much as the studying. But I did learn a lot. I got a lot of validation. Too bad I don't also get a raise!! It does look good for the hospital to have a good percentage of certified registered nurses.

On to the important things. Jake is just growing by leaps and bounds. He is a nut. He is so chatty. I don't know what he says most of the time but he talks nonstop. He is into saying "hot" right now but it is how he says it that is so funny. I know he is saying it like I say it to him when I don't want him to touch something hot. It is just so funny. He has slept through the night three out of the last six nights. He hasn't slept through the night in FOREVER!!! Tonight is our biggest challenge. Jake got to nurse this morning, but no more. It is apparent that he has no intention of giving up nursing anytime soon and I just can't do it anymore. Fifteen and a half months is a long time right??? I need to be done. I also need the regular bcp that I started on Saturday or might need to start blood transfusions soon. I hear crying. I guess tonight isn't going to be one of the nights he makes it!

What does this mean

I had an annual appointment a few weeks ago and I tried to get the new prescription I got filled. She told me when she gave it to me that it I could get it filled for super cheap and then I wouldn't have to mess with my insurance (she knows how difficult my insurance is). I took it in to Wal*greens and I explained it to the girl and she said no problem. I waited and waited. The lady behind the register calls me up and says it will be sixty something dollars. Are you kidding me?!? So I said wait a minute. This is a generic drug and blah blah blah. She said my insurance won't pay and nasty nasty something. I said it wasn't supposed to go through my insurance and what about these supper inexpensive prescriptions you are supposed to be able to get here. Well, you have to get a card for that and this and that and blah. Okay so it isn't like what they say on the commercials. That and I came home and called this women a "c" word that I NEVER say. She was so nasty. I didn't take the pills and I made her give me the prescription back so I could send it in to my insurance. I was so mad. Then a few days later I went to get the paper and I had lost it. I looked every where. So the next time I saw her at work I explained what happened and she wrote me another script. Then I buried that one under a stack of papers. I have never lost a prescription in my life and I lost this one twice. Well, I found both of them and I finally got the paper work filled out and sent in today.

So anyway. Am I purposefully trying to not get the birth control pills that I specifically went in to get? Is this something subconscious? That didn't dawn on me until yesterday. Am I trying to not take them? Hmmm... I have been thinking about another baby a lot but I think we need to wait awhile still. Am I unintentionally trying to foil my own plan? Or is it that I have had such a severe blood loss that I just simply can't function properly. I'm not able to carry enough oxygen in my blood to get my brain working properly. We will see now how many weeks it takes for them to get here and what troubles I have with my prescription company. I do need to get my body straightened out though because I feel terrible.

I saw something that troubled me today. I saw this absolutely beautiful couple biking down the side of a busy road. He was gorgeous. Then I saw how pretty she was. Wow. Then I saw the baby strapped to her chest???? Does this seem wrong to anyone else???? She was maybe three months old. Am I wrong? Is this a normal thing to do? I couldn't believe it. I couldn't imagine getting on a bike with a baby strapped to ME. I don't know maybe it is the anemia again.

Whew...

Another test down! This week has been brutal at work! We have had huge schedules and we have two RN's out with back injuries. Yesterday and today I have been out at a class. I know it is a class that many people take all the time and it isn't a big deal, but it was to me! It was Advanced Cardiac Life Support and it is not an easy class. The teachers were great however and treated it differently than the last class I took. We had to take a written test on our own put the practical part we did in groups and that was great. We each had to answer individual questions but each one of us didn't have to run through an entire code all on our own. So I passed. That means two classes with two certifications down. Now all I have to do is take a big nasty test next month that is my specialty certification. It will be hard, however, it all pertains directly to the job I do (or how we should be doing it) each and every day. It is very detailed and long, but hopefully it will go well. I am glad to be back to studying something that is more in my comfort zone.












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Interesting...

I didn't have a fit this morning at the meeting. (my boss is insane by the way). We all left feeling frustrated and mad. So that is just like normal. Little got resolved and many got mad! The person that bothers me the most (actually two of the items on the agenda were because of her) didn't show up. Her shift started later so she didn't come. Of course, if she has half a brain (that may be the whole problem) she should have figured out that SHE was the problem. So we still all started the day in a bad mood because again nothing got fixed.

On an even worse note, we are supposed to be getting our pictures taken in the morning for Christmas but our photographer is really sick! Her assistant warned us this morning that they may have to cancel and she would let us know for sure this afternoon. We are waiting on pins and needles. Our only hope is that she might give herself one more day to get better and reschedule for Sunday otherwise it is a no go for us. We only had a week to get our orders back because otherwise she wouldn't be able to get them out in time. This was part of our Christmas presents to family! We can't get in anywhere else and get the same thing we are getting from her. I am hoping for a miraculous recovery. I know she loads these days and it would be hard if she were sick. I also know she won't cancel unless she really really needs to. I guess it will be what it will be! We were hoping to put off pictures again until Jake is two after this session.

I know I have whined a lot about my job but I am so close to quitting. I keep having days that I am having to really work hard to not just walk out. That obviously isn't a good way to handle things! I still like the work and most of the people I work with. It is just a few nasty ones that have just about pushed me over the edge. I don't understand how there can be such different expectations on behavior from one person to the next and why one person can be so incredibly lazy and her opinion seems to matter more than anyone else's. Anyway, I am just frustrated. We have a meeting first thing in the morning and we are going to talk about some of the things we are frustrated about. I don't think it will go well. I hope I can in fact make it through the meeting.

On another note, we are having our first snow of the season. The wind is horrendous and it is so cold. I didn't break out Jake's winter coat this morning because I need to rework his car seat straps to fit him in there. Is that a bad mom? He had a long sleeve shirt, a sweater and a sweatshirt on. He was only outside from the time to get to the car into daycare which wasn't even a minute. But on the way home we had to stop at the store and that was a bit longer.

I am having a lot of problems making Jake angry right now. You see, what ever I have he wants. Like the hot chocolate I have at the moment. He, of course, can't have it. Or pizza, or pretty much anything that crosses my husband's lips. I guess it means we need to be eating a better diet but it is hard.

Busy times

We have been so busy the past few weeks. I worked late shifts one week so we could do swimming lessons the next two weeks. It is amazing how a 30 minute class can manage to take up the whole evening, or so it seems. Jake would have to eat early. Then hurry up and get everything packed and loaded (I started that while he was eating). Then get us into the car and drive there during what is busy traffic for us. We would have to park way far away and walk. Then get it and get changed and hurry out to the pool. He loved it though even if the whine factor was horrendous during the changing before and the showering and getting dressed after. He loved his teacher too. She was pretty! I also took a two day trauma nursing course. In some ways it was challenging for me because it uses skill I don't use very often and then in other ways I had more hands on experience than some of the nurses. It was not easy. It was extremely hard to sit in a chair for two days. I haven't had to take too many tests lately and I had some significant test anxiety. I almost had to slap myself!

Jake was a stinker come Halloween. Actually, I don't think he was feeling all that well. I really think the change in schedule with swimming was catching up to him. He has had a bit of a fever yesterday and today. He has also been drooling like crazy and had diarrhea. What does that sound like to you? To me it sounds like teething, but he can't get anymore teeth. Well, he can but he only has four baby teeth left to get and he really shouldn't get those molars for at least a year.

We did go visit a few houses and grab a few treats. They were treats that were specially planned for Jake. We didn't make it very many places and he was getting awfully worn out. Maybe next year we will make it around the neighborhood to show off, not that he will be able to eat the candy, but still.

Last weekend we did make it to a corn maze and we had a good time. It took longer to drive there and back than it did to go through the maze but it was fun. It was really nice to get to do something as a family.

Yesterday was the first day we really had to hire a babysitter, actually two. I had to work and was on call. Mike had to work and my mom was moving. So it had some glitches but it worked. I hardly worked at all. I literally paid the two sitters more than I made for the day. Oh well. I have so much to say but a little whiner needs to be taken care of so it will have to be another time.

The life and times

Well, we have been busy 'round these here parts. I worked all late shifts but one last week and it sucked big time!!!! For weeks people on late shifts have been leaving early day after day. Not my week. I did leave early one day, but the other three I ended up staying past my shift end. It was hard on me and it was hard on Jake. Mike didn't so much care on way or the other.

Then my mom and aunt came Saturday. That was... interesting. I forget how that goes. I love my aunt dearly but I just don't know. My mom and aunt were on the computer for hours. My aunt would sit there chatting for 6 plus hours with this man or that man. My mom and my aunt would compare men on countless different singles sites. I was shocked how many different sites they go to and the guys the contact. They were also incredibly loud. I was expecting them Saturday morning and it was almost four before they got to my house. They just acted like it was no big deal. We immediately had to go shopping, which was not on my plan. Poor Jake was a bit overwhelmed as well. My aunt is very loud and she brought tons of stuff that just kind of exploded everywhere. She also brought her hyper little dog. Jake and the dog actually got along quite well, but still our house was turned upside down. I got one of the worst migraines I have had in I don't know how long on Saturday. I had to go to bed early. It was miserable. I couldn't even get my migraine pill out of the foil and my aunt is telling me I ought to take some thing for that. Duh!!! Can't you see I can't even get it out of the wrapper??? Mike had to help me and help me to bed. I still had a throbbing headache on Sunday, but it was better at least. We had to go shopping for more than 4 hours Sunday afternoon. I am just not a big shopper, especially now that we have to worry about nap times. It is all about getting in and getting out for me, not about entertainment like it is for my mother. Like usual my aunt spend a fortune. She did buy a couple of really cute outfits for Jake.

So my aunt had to force my mom to leave Sunday evening. That was great. Then Monday my aunt shopped again all day. She came home in time to get to Jake's first swimming lesson with us and then spent the whole night on the computer. She was clacking away and gestured with her arm and knocked her beer off the wooden arm of the couch. It almost went into the computer. Instead it went all over the couch and the carpet my had just spent hours cleaning. Tuesday morning she got up and talked to me and was going to stay another night. When I got home Tuesday she was gone. All order had returned to our house She left tons of stuff behind. I don't know what Mike said or did, but she was gone. He doesn't seem to think he did anything but I don't know why else she would have just left. I can't get a hold of her either. Mike said she said she would call me later, but she hasn't. She went to my Mom's house but my aunt is answering her phone when I call. I don't know what happened. She was planning on coming for Thanksgiving but I don't if those plans have changed or not.

So... swimming lessons are going. We go everyday this week and Monday through Thursday next week. Monday he was super swimmer and happy as can be. Tuesday he threw fits and bit me on my shoulder. We had to leave a few minutes early. Tonight was somewhere in between. It is going okay. He was wired afterwards Monday. It was so hard to tell if he was being naughty because our schedule has been so messed up. because we had company, because he isn't feeling well, or something else. He has taken to throwing large, very loud fits. I don't know what to do with these.

I've got to get to bed. I can only keep one eye open to keep what I'm typing in focus. We did not win the picture contest. We got second by one vote. I was very depressed about that at first but now I can talk about it. The crappy part is not that we didn't win but that we didn't win by one, ONE vote. One vote off.

I feel like I am going nuts!! I am so stressed. I am totally hormonal. I believe I am going to need a blood transfusion soon from my massive blood loss. My work week has totally sucked been from hell. Oh wait, I still have two more shifts and they are promising to be just as crappy. My house is a TOTAL disaster and my aunt and mom are coming Saturday morning to stay for awhile. Not to mention Jake is a whinny, constipated grouch. He won't eat. Sleep isn't going so well and it just goes down hill from there... I need a vacation or a margarita or something.

Time flies

I can't believe how fast time is passing. I just can't seem to get anything accomplished. Well, at least not what I think I should. I have two difficult classes coming up I have never taken before. I know they aren't a big deal. They are just two days and a test, but they are hard to me. Plus I am trying to study for my certification test. At least now I can take it here. Our community college got certified as a testing center so I don't have to drive all the way to a suburb of Denver like I was planning. That takes some of the pressure off.

I can't believe how fast Jake is growing. He is a little stinker and a little ham. You can really tell he works it too. He is a lot whinier for mommy than anyone else. He sticks his lower lip out and makes these pathetic yet hilarious noises. He hasn't been doing quite as well with his sleep, but it is still better than it was. He has ended up in bed with us the past several nights but it has been 2 or so in the morning. He is coughing again when he sleeps and I think that is part of it. It is still a bugger about eating. He actually ate some spaghetti sauce with ground beef two nights ago with some rice pasta. He hasn't been willing to eat that before so I was excited. Meet is so hard to get into him unless it is a baby food meal in a jar. I can't wait to be rid of those!!! I think we should be by now but I guess we are getting closer.

Jake doesn't care for weening and I guess I am not as strong with it as I should be. I have tried to drop a feeding and drop another and he will do okay but then he freaks out and wants to nurse all the time. He was getting tired and we were in the checkout line at the store and he was whining and trying to pull my shirt up! That is when I wish I could be one of those people that says we are done and it is final. I just need to toughen up and ignore the whining and crying, right?

Fall seems to be too short. We were still having 80 degree temps last week or the week before and now they are talking about snow on Saturday. I want more of the in between!!! I really enjoyed the drive to the photographer's because it was such a beautiful day. It made the trip worth it. I can't wait to get our pictures. I am a picture junky now. Our walls are just plastered with this little boy's face.

My aunt is coming in about a week. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It will be nice to see her but I think she will be here for too long. I'm hoping she will go visit my mom. My mom is working on moving back closer to me. She is moving I just don't know when. She is renting a three story, three bedroom townhome. That makes sense for the single woman with two knees that need to be replaced. My mom really thinks she needs a four bedroom. She has a different job now, still in the same walls, but employed by a different company. It pays better with much crappier benefits. All she can talk about is shopping. It is crazy. We have heard her tell Jake that he is going to get to come home with her now. Umm, have I mentioned my mom is nuts before????

We need your help!!!!!

Okay we do need help. We need votes. We went and got Jacob's picture taken in his Halloween costume and we would really like to win the contest and get the $100 for our family Christmas picture next month. I have been wavering on if we should do the Christmas pictures or not because of cost and the prize would really help. So please, we need all the votes we can get for Jacob! Thank you, we really appreciate it. http://kellyhighby.typepad.com/kelly_highby_photography_/

I don't want to say it outloud

...but things are going a lot better. Sleeping, much better. We have had a rough go but he is being able to go to sleep after you put him in bed. He is still waking up in the night but mostly now it is in the early morning and I just leave him. He is down to crying or fussing for 5-10 minutes and then he will go back to sleep! This means mommy can sleep. This is also helping us with the hurdle of weening. That had not been going so well. When he is in bed with me he wants to suck the entire time practically. When he is upset that is what he wants. It immediately calms him down. But it is better. I'm not sure how I will feel by morning but he only nursed once today. I don't have a lot of milk but I still do have some. I am already feeling a bit uncomfortable, but I know that is just going to be.

(Here is an example of seeing Mommy do something and then Jake does it.)
(Jake loves to get under my sink. There isn't really anything bad in there. He just carries embarrasses his dad by carrying feminine products around the house. I think that is good for dad, especially since he hasn't put a latch on the doors. He hasn't done that because we are going to replace the nasty sink with a pedestal. But we have to be ready to do the floors when we do that. That is a lot of work for Mike. You would think he would just put the latches on instead!)

Mister independent. I said something to Mike about toddlers and Mike got mad at me. Jake isn't a toddler yet. But honey, he is. No, he is still a baby! No honey, our baby is now a toddler. That hit daddy pretty hard. The only problem with Jake's eating is the actual consuming of food. He is a terrible eater! I'm not really sure what he managed to actually eat tonight. Maybe a teaspoon of corn kernels and maybe a bite of bread and a 1" section of banana. The only thing he still eats well is baby food. I am trying hard to get him to eat food. He does great about putting food in his mouth and chewing it. Then he puts more. Pretty soon he spits out a huge mouthful of chewed but not swallowed food. I don't know what to do. This is especially true with meat.
Here we throw toys into the laundry room! This is the best game. Now if only it also involved hide and seek.
Poor Molly is such a good sport. What else can she do?
He just loves her and she is so good to him. She gives me the most pathetic looks though.
I forgot to say, that teeth 15 and 16 FINALLY burst through this weekend. They are so long it is hard to believe they weren't there Friday. You could feel that though.

Life has been a bit crazy. Jake and I have been sick for two weeks and that doesn't help at all. Bronchitis, sinusitis, aches, fevers, tiredness, crankiness, breathing treatments, coughing, coughing, coughing, and that is mostly me. Jake has a cough too but he is mostly better. We just can't get his little sinuses to clear up. We finally went to the doctor yesterday and I got steroids, my own nebulizer suppliers, and antibiotics. I thought I was getting better but the coughing at night got a ton worse. It was taking two hours to get the coughing settled down. So that meant I kept waking myself and Mike up. Jake has been doing a little better with his sleeping. He is staying in bed longer before needing to come in our room. I just don't know if it is because he is sick or because he is doing better.

Jake is just changing by leaps and bounds. He is so busy and he is so much fun. Most of the time. I love how I will see him do something for the first time but it is totally his mimicking what we do. He stole my comb and was combing his hair. He likes to play with all our phones, but yesterday he picked up the phone on the fax and just jabbered away. He made different sounds than you usually hear and it was just so cute! He likes to eat rice crispies because he likes to pick up each individual piece and eat it. At least that keeps him occupied for awhile. He is so independent on his eating now! He really likes to feed himself. With his right hand he uses the spoon. With his left hand he shovels it in with his fingers. He loves to throw his hands up and say "all done" when he is done eating. He just walks and walks and walks. He still likes to crawl or bend over with his FP train car. It is the one that has the bar for the monkey to hang. He has used that bar as his walker for ever. It is sooo cute and funny to see him. Last weekend he was pushing it around the house and filling it up with what ever - little people, pens (his favorite thing ever) cars, animals - and he would take it into the kitchen and go to his baby gate and chuck everything out across the landing and down into the laundry room. You come in from the garage into the laundry room and there are two steps up into the house. There is a landing there that has a pantry for the kitchen and then the steps that go to the basement. Then there is another doorway into the kitchen and that is where the baby gate is. So he tosses the stuff pretty far. He just loves it. If you leave the door open to the laundry room you better watch your step because there is no telling what he has thrown in there. He pushed a laundry basket across the kitchen floor about fifteen feet and took it to the doorway/top of the steps into the laundry room. I took the first clothes out and put them into the washer. As soon as he saw me taking things out he started throwing them down for me. It was so funny.

He still hates riding around town. I haven't turned his seat around in my car yet. I went to and discovered that it says 22 pounds and 34 inches before front facing. I thought it was 20 pounds and I didn't remember there was a length minimum. Our other two seats don't have length minimums on them and they both say 20 pounds. He was 22lbs 4oz at our appointment yesterday with his clothes and shoes on. I'm not sure if he is 30 inches long yet. I don't know if I can wait until he is 34 inches. He is just so miserable in my car and perfectly content in Daddy's. That seat is only a front facing. He has no problems at all with it. Of course he hardly ever rides in the pickup with Daddy.

We got his Halloween costume and it is so cute. I can't believe I spent so much on a baby's costume but it is so cute. It is a monkey and he is adorable. We are going to have to practice wearing it some because he doesn't like the hat. It has just been too hot to wear it much yet. I have to get him used to it quick though because he is getting his picture taken in it next Sunday. I am driving all the way to our photographer because is having a Halloween special. He will get like 10 minutes and we pay fifteen dollars for one 5x7 and she is donating it all to the park where she takes her outdoor pictures. If we order anything additional she donates her profits to the park too. Jake's pictures didn't do the park justice. It is really a beautiful park. It has lots of different planting areas, separate gardens. Jake wouldn't cooperate so you could see all the beautiful flowers. He would only sit on the ground under them and pick at dirt. I am hoping there are some beautiful fall colors to go along with the costumes.

I love fall. I wish we weren't having a heat wave right now because this is my favorite time of year. I love the crisp air. I love changing leaves. I love the break from the heat. Fall always seems to have a different energy. Kids are back in school and life seems like it is underway. Football is back. I love going to football games. I sure hope Jake likes football. There is only one thing that is a little hard for me. This is the time for Homecomings. Last week was one town five miles away. This weekend is the town where we now live and next weekend is the town where we used to live. It just makes me sad because I don't feel like I have a place that I am from or home base. I know I need to stop whining about it and I just need to set down my own roots. I don't know. I just wish I had a "home town."

Work has been crappy. Things have really been changing. "They" are telling us it is for the better, but I'm just not so sure. We have been really busy again for awhile and now we are not. We are having to cut hours because our department needs to cut costs and yet we are seeing how the hospital is spending a huge amount of money on marketing. They have put up a new giant sign. It cost more than I make in a year. And then they have replaced all the smaller signs, like the one that says "pharmacy" and "emergency." I mean these are still large individual letters that light up on the out sides of the hospital and there are probably ten of them. I would say the letters are at least 2 feet tall. They have completely changed the letterhead and all the marketing literature. We are talking a lot of money. And I am having to go home early. We have a lot of other big problems and very few answers right now. I am afraid for some of our jobs. I think I will be okay, but I don't know what will happen. How will they decided if they do need to cut?? Not the best feeling. Especially when I have a, gulp, toddler I keeping wanting to get photographed.

I have started thinking about the when and the if and the what if we can't of another baby. All the people pestering me finally has me starting to think. I'm not ready to start trying yet but it does have me thinking. I just found out another coworker is pregnant and I most certainly got the pang of envy. I know I really do want another child. I am still having hard time thinking of having to make Jake share the limited time I have. I also am thinking about how little help my husband is in taking care of Jake. I am still a little gun shy of being pregnant, but I am starting to think of it as something sooner than later. I still don't know when we should start trying. I wish I had a crystal ball. I don't know what made things finally work last time. I suspect it was the progesterone, but I don't know for sure. I just know daycare for two at our current daycare would be a problem, but not quite enough of a problem for me to quit. Daycare for two, at our current daycare, would take 85% of one of my two week checks. That is more than we can afford for sure. Our next step would definitely be private daycare, but that has its problems. Mike thinks we ought to consider paying his mom, but I don't want to do that. First she would have to come to our house not hers and she won't do that. I'm not going to pay to completely furnish her house with everything Jake needs and then have his stuff at home. But I don't think there is anyway she could take care of two kids full time. I don't think she could handle it. Mike and his dad have talked about it, but I just don't think she can do it. Besides, Jake really likes being around people, even he got sent home with a "very mean" description of his behavior this week.

They are here!

I saw Jake on our photographer's blog this morning so I knew that meant today we should get the password to see the pictures. I have been trying to study but it has been hard because I want to see my boy and the magic Kelly works. Well no email. I just got a text from one of my coworkers telling me how good our pictures are and it didn't sound like she was talking about the blog. She guessed the password and let me know a few minutes ago. She has had her pictures done like six, seven, eight times there so she is more familiar with the complex password system. ha ha So anyway if anyone is interested my beautiful boy (not biased) can be seen at http://www.kellyhighbyphotography.com/slideshows/ The highly complex password is "jacobc" Please enjoy if you like.

More words, more whining

I feel like I should have something profound to say for my 250th post but I don't. I am having a bit of a rough time right now. I have a lot of stress right now. I am trying to study for a certification test. I am having to act as the afternoon charge fairly frequently and that puts me right next to my boss. I have to have my annual evaluation in the next couple of weeks. I have been asked to DO some of my coworkers annual evaluations. A form got passed around rating me and the unique job I do. (it would be nice to have warning that was going to happen). I have two difficult classes coming up. Some lady is hounding me from church to do home visits on new moms. There are several people on this group, none of whom are doing anything yet I am the only being hounded. Oh yeah, and I am trying to be a good mom to my little boy and something about being a wife too.

I am feeling overwhelmed. I am really tired too. I don't know what to do to get Jake sleeping better. I keep trying different things. I guess he is as stubborn as Mike and I and I just need to stick with it better. I just need to sleep and struggling with him at 11, 12, or 1 in the morning is just killing me. Man, can that boy scream!

The thing that is bothering me the most is that I am feeling really lonely. I keep making efforts to reach out to some people and I am get shot down. It is hard not to take it personally so I do. I wonder what I did to make them not want to be my friend or wonder what is wrong with me that they don't want to spend time with me. Someone convinced me I need to be using Face.book. So I signed up. I don't know what the hell I am doing. I haven't spent much time with it. But I did realize there isn't much point because you have to friends using it too.

I don't know what my problem is. I do know I need to quit feeling sorry for myself though. I'd like to run away for awhile.

On this date...

One year ago today we brought our little peanut home. I have been all weepy the past few days and I haven't been sure if it was hormones or memories or what. My how our world has changed. I wouldn't want it any other way. Well, I might change the sleep thing a bit...

Tagged

I was tagged by Nurse Lochia a long time ago but because I am technologically retarded it takes me a long time to remember or figure out how to do something. Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules to your blog
3. Write 6 random things about myself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.

Gosh, random things. I'm not that deep and that is how I post anyway but here's a try.

1. I am a total freak at work about having everything in its right place. I want everything neat and tidy. As soon as I walk out the hospital door I am a total slob. I don't care if everything gets picked up until I know that company is coming to my house and then I dash around the house like a chicken with my head cut off trying to pick everything up. My house isn't dirty for the most part, just not picked up. We have gotten much better since having Jake.

2. To this day I would have hot dogs and mac & cheese for dinner almost every night if I could. My husband isn't a fan and Jake can't eat it. I pray that someday this is something I can share with my son. I also believe that spaghetti-o's are comfort food. My mom wasn't much of a cook!

3. I only wear pants at home because I have to. Before Jake and when we lived out in the country I would take my pants off as soon as I got dogs out. I should just invest in some scrubs to wear at home and then it would be easier. Or I wear jammies like right now. As soon as I was done shopping today I put on a pair of flannel pj bottoms. They match my shirt! It did slow me down to have to change back into my jeans when I was dashing about the house trying to pick up when a friend called and said they were stopping by. (she knows to call a head).

4. I have an irrational fear of misplacing my tweezers. My husband now understands he will be killed if he touches my tweezers. God forbid he use them to do something. I was born with a uni brow. My husband kind of has one. He actually has three separate areas of hair growth - just an extra but separate brow in the middle. Poor Jake was doomed. My husband finally admitted today that Jake has one. My mother would not let me do anything with my eyebrows until I was in 7th grade or maybe even 8th. She just didn't understand how traumatizing this was for me. I remember being so excited when my grandma offered to take me to get my eyebrows waxed when I was about 9 or 10. My mother wouldn't allow it. She didn't get it. Nor did she get the social need to wear a bra, shave my legs, or wear makeup. I don't know when most girls started wearing bras. I moved to a small town and all the other girls were wearing training bras in fourth grade so I wanted to also. To be honest, I did actually have some breast development so it wasn't unreasonable.

Wow two more...
5. I have been afflicted with insomnia since puberty. For a number of years, during most of high school and college, I was prescribed an antidepressant to help me sleep. Now I am so freaking exhausted I can sleep most nights if Jake would let me. He sleeps worse now than he did when I started back to work. He is waking up around eleven almost every night and then wakes up again in the 1-2 range and then again most mornings before my alarm goes off. I can't take the crying so he ends up in bed with us. I have to get some sleep. My back is killing me though because I sleep on my side so he can nurse when he wants. (we are making a little bit of ground on the weening, but this will be the hardest). Believe me I want more than anything to leave him in his room, but he doesn't stop crying. I have to get some sleep and since Mike either is gone to work or is sleeping like the dead it is all up to me.

6. I am an excellent teacher for things you have to do standing across a patient or table for most people. A) I am just that good and B) since I am left handed it works really well to be able to mirror things. One thing that stands out in my mind is putting in a foley catheter. I know it isn't a lot to be proud of but believe me it is helpful to the person learning because I am comfortable across the table. What will happen when the day comes that they give me a left handed person to teach? I don't know. It hasn't happened yet, but I will figure it out. I'm not ambidextrous

Pathetic confessions, I know. Now for the poor people I have to tag
1 Becca
2 Linlee
3 Faith
4 Kirsten
5 Stephanie
6 Hopeful Mother

Celebration!

Look Mom, it's cheese. Okay, it is rice cheese, but it actually tastes like American cheese. He loves it. I was happy that our store had it! Now I will try taking fake cheese and substitute noodles and making fake macaroni and cheese!

Here is the pooped out boy after our trip to the zoo!

So we had a pretty good birthday party. It was hot but the shade of our patio was nice. The food was good and Jake loved to entertain his guests. He wasn't so sure about the cake at first. I should have taken it out of the fridge sooner so the frosting could soften up some and be easier for him. It wasn't too bad of a cake. We will have to buy the cake mix again. I didn't like the frosting very much. I'm not sure if it was the fake butter or the frosting mix, but one of them had a very strong butter taste. I love butter, but I love real butter and this was too much. We will have to try something else or the cake was good enough for no frosting. Jake ended up with a terrible belly ache about 10:30 and I am attributing it to the cake. I was within 5 minutes of taking him to the hospital, but he started calming down.

One of my friends took such good pictures for me that it is almost like watching a movie. It was nice to have someone else taking pictures for once. Jake really got into the cake. There was cake a good ten feet away from his highchair. Once he figured out how the more he got into the cake the more all the girls cheered he had a ball! It was great. The one bad thing was that the fake butter is made from vegetable oils and he was slicker than snot even after the bath. His skin was sure soft the next day though!

So after his bath we opened presents. He could have cared less. I thought he would get into the paper and the bags but he didn't care at all. In the very first bag we opened there was a phone and that held his interest for quite some time.
Look a rare picture of mom! Mike's mom (in the background) was all in a tither before she came over. She gets all freaked out when there is an event. She likes events to be at her house and she gets all uptight before they happen. I called and asked Mike's sister to come over and watch Jake while I went to pick up food because my mom was late. When she got here she said she was so relieved to get out of her mother's house because she was having "the big one." I was exhausted because I literally had no sleep the night before between my two boys and I just didn't want to deal with her and how she gets. However, I was pleasantly surprised. After the initial "she's here" moments, she really settled down and actually had a good time. She had a couple of little mini fits, but they were easily ignored. It didn't help that my mom ended up being five hours late from the original time she was to be here. She was actually about an hour late for the party. That is her way of drawing attention to herself. Oh well. No one really cared so she wasn't a big deal either. So neither grandma ruined the day! Grandpa and dad both consumed a bit of beer but they were okay too. Mike just isn't a big gathering kind of guy. He doesn't do well with company. He and my best friend's husband do pretty well together so Doug helped keep him calm. Plus Mike's sister helps keep him relaxed. So all was well.

Yesterday I even got Mike to church. I thought he was going to die, but he did it. We FINALLY got Jake baptized. If we ever have another baby we will make sure we do it sooner. Jake was a bit of a stinker but church is during his nap time. He was asleep not ten minutes after his baptism was finished. I couldn't believe Jake sniffed his daddy's feet after we got home from church. Mike has major, MAJOR foot odor issues.

So our little Jake is really becoming a boy. He starting walking on Wednesday and is doing pretty well with it. He will take about a dozen steps at a time. He also has discovered that there is a world above what is at his chest level and we are in trouble! He is a little fella now. He weighed in at 21lbs 4 oz, and is 29 inches long at his appointment. Both were 50th percentile. His head however is 19 inches which is 95th percentile. Our doctor said he is going to be very smart with such a big head. I said, well, at least he will wear a big hat and she laughed. He is very chatty and you can understand most of what he says. He is finally saying "mama" regularly. He will say back just about anything you say. He says thank you every time he gives you something or takes something from you. He calls a lot of things "kitty."

I have loved being off for almost a week. I don't want to go back. We have had some really bad nights and I don't know if it is because we are out of our routine or because they were just going to be bad nights. I have really enjoyed my time with Jake and with Mike. I wish I could get used to this. I think Jake is starting to like it too. The only thing is that he is a very social little guy and I know he likes all the people at daycare. He will be in his new room tomorrow and we will see how that goes. They changed the teachers around last week so one of the girls that he really, really likes isn't with him anymore. She is the only person that has remained a constant since his very first day there. Can you blame him? She now stops in and sees him before she starts work.

Jake is taking bottles from me at home in the middle of the day. It is just hard when he gets tired and or doesn't feel good. Then he wants to nurse. He let Mike give him a bottle before bed last night even. I think I am going to stop pumping at work completely. I hoping that if I can make it the rest of this week at work we will be good. I will have supplies there of course, just in case I get too sore, but I think with this time off it will be okay. Last week was the first time he didn't get at least some breast milk at daycare. I don't think they can have much formula left and then we will switch to rice milk. That will be nice!

Today is the day!!!

My baby is one today! I have been all misty about that. I can't believe he has been with us for a year. I is as naughty as ever. I only worked Monday and Tuesday this week. Wednesday we went and got his pictures taken. He was a little pill. The photographer kept telling me he was doing better than most one year olds. I find that hard to believe.

Yesterday we hung out and I had to go to a meeting at work. Then I took Jake to an eye appointment with me. I wasn't sure how that was going to go. It was supposed to be a quick in quick out thing and it wasn't. I wasn't sure how they were going to react to my bring him. You know how some people are really snotty because you are making things more difficult for them and noisy for everyone else. Everyone was really nice and gave him the proper attention he was after. Man is he a charmer!

We went shopping this morning and got a few things we needed and we got Jake a wagon for his birthday. Then we went to the zoo. We actually have a pretty good zoo, surprising as that is for a community of our size. Communities of our size rarely ever have a zoo so it says something that we do. We haven't taken Jake before and we haven't gone since we got married. It was nice. Jake didn't last too long but I think he could see the animals better than the zoo in Denver.

Tomorrow we have an actual party for both the boys. It will be nice since pretty much everyone forgot Mike's birthday last year. They did actually forget, but he was just an after thought some time later. He wasn't upset or anything. All our focus was our baby in NICU.

Off to clean and get a few last minute supplies. I have to get Jake's special cake made too.

How embarrassing!

I picked up Jake from daycare today and I was afraid to hear what they had to say. Yesterday we got a bad report. He was hitting, biting, pulling hair and throwing toys. They wanted to know how they were supposed to handle it. I don't know. Make him stop! I don't want the naughty child! Today they told me he was good. Then the one lady I think doesn't like Jake asked me who taught him to say "tickle tickle" when you change his diaper and he plays with his "thingie." I was horrified! He said what? And this grown woman can't say pe.nis? Anyway, I was so embarrassed. Jake screams almost every time you change his diaper. I try to distract him with a toy or by tickling his tummy. When I tickle him I always say "tickle, tickle." As soon as you get the tab undone on his diaper he has his hand down his diaper and is yanking on his pe.nis. So he associates my saying tickle with his playing with himself!!! Great! He isn't even a quite a year and he is getting me in trouble with the things he says! It only goes down hill from here...

Movin', movin', movin'

I can't believe how fast time has gone. Jake now stands for long periods of time. He can stand from a sitting position without pulling up on anything. He also will push his little truck for ever 3o - 45 minutes of back and forth is nothing. He thinks about walking and is so close it scares me. I just can't believe how fast my little baby boy has grown. His thirteenth tooth is through as of today.
He has been a little crab though. I know the teeth are just killing him. I am worried that he is getting sick though because he slept a ton yesterday while I had to work. My mom came to watch him and thank goodness because I had to work more than eighteen hours straight yesterday. Of course Jake was up by five this morning. I managed to nurse and snuggle him until six. I just hate having to leave him. Mike and my mom both said that by afternoon, when I should be picking him up from daycare, they could tell he was really missing his Mommy. I don't know how would stay sane being a full time SAHM but I want so much more time with my little Peanut. I just love to be able to sit down and play ball with him. He loves to throw the ball and everything else for that matter. I just don't feel like I have enough time to spend with Jake and take care of our household. That is why we still have so many packed boxes around. There has to be an answer out there. I am still looking.

My in laws are really pissing me off. They get Jake when I have to work late and they love it, but it is such a burden for them as we keep being told. I just wish I had a regular schedule and so did Mike. It would be a lot easier to plan. Even if I were at my same job if Mike just had a normal job it would be so much easier to work out. Unfortunately people at work don't understand that. If I just had the same schedule every week we could find someone to watch Jake, but since I don't have the same shifts from week to week or month to month it really is challenging. We didn't even get the schedule we started today until last Thursday! That is terrible. I need to stop whining and just live with it I guess. I just want more time with Jake.

And the ween is on...

We got the nod to switch Jake to rice milk today. We had an appointment with the allergist and he is an odd, but nice, duck. We waited and waited and waited, in a patient room thank goodness, for him to see us. He walked in the door and Jake crawled right over to him and grabbed his shoe and pulled himself up his pant leg. He held his arms up and the doctor tossed him up and had him smiling ear to ear and giggling away. I couldn't believe it! Jake is full swing with his stranger anxiety and doesn't usually want to go to most people he knows. This doctor is nice, except he says we have to wait until Jake is TWO before we test him again, but he is a bit goofy. He is about sixty, he is Indian and has a very thick accent, he has huge glasses that I thought Jake would pull off, and he has odd tufts of hair about and he was wearing a lab jacket. But Jake seemed to love him.

So my dear boy is going to have to learn to give up the boob. I have already cut my pumping back to just at lunch time at work. I officially put away my breast pump at home today. Now we just need to get Jake to decided he doesn't need to nurse to solve all the world's problems. That is what I am worried about. When he gets really upset, all he wants is to nurse to calm down. I guess he will have to be upset. I will work on getting the mornings cut out first. I am worried about the nights though. We only go about one night a week where Jake isn't ending up in our bed so he can nurse. We took a nap this weekend and he just sucked for two hours. Boy was I sore when I woke up!

So, now we can use up all that expensive formula we have first and then switch to rice milk. He seems to like it, but I don't think he understands that is all he will get soon. He will get a tums everyday for calcium too. I can't wait to start giving him that! We are just so that it isn't so traumatic for me when I give him the zyrtec!!! I think I am not looking forward to this... adventure!

Our first real haircut

Jake got his first real, big boy haircut today! It was hard. I didn't cry because I was trying to hold him still. That and I had a migraine and was less sentimental. My stylist was surprised by home much hair she had to cut. He wasn't too bad. She had to take the back up a little because of a scissor mark from where he moved suddenly. I don't know how she did it with him moving around so much.

Jake has been a stinker about his sleeping. We will do well one night and then we will have three bad ones. Last night he would not settle down. He just played and played until he finally just plopped down. He has a marker in his left hand that he wouldn't give up until his little hand relaxed and let go. I am going to have to get some of the markers that only wright on the special paper and soon because he loves to carry one around. When he figures out how to get the cap off I am trouble!I bought a watermelon this weekend and he loved it! I chopped it up into tiny pieces for him so I could get the seeds out and he just gobbled it up! I gave him more tonight and I was shocked how much he ate. It is probably all the sugar in the watermelon keeping him up!

Rough morning

Jake woke up a little before five this morning which is normal. Mommy wanted to sleep in. I brought him into bed with me and he nursed and climbed on me for a bit and then went to sleep. He let me sleep about an hour and then we repeated the nursing, climbing and falling back asleep. I got to sleep until seven which I think is wonderful.

We got up and I went to bring in the paper. It wasn't there. This is the second time this week! The Sunday paper is, of course, my favorite of the whole week. Sip some coffee, read the paper, let the baby destroy the house. Normal routine. Not this week! So that has me irked. Jake is just a grouch. He is whining and whimpering a lot. His teeth are really bothering him again/still.

I worked on folding laundry, which I hate. I work on cleaning up all our messes. Jake gets hungry. Okay, what will we feed him? He is really being picky right now and we have our limits of course. I try giving him some applesauce that has extra berries in it. He usually loves it. Nope not today. I get him to take a cracker to munch while I search. Good thing because he is yelling at me. I offer him this super healthy - allergen free bar. One bite in, the rest on the floor. Crap. There are some left over sweet potato chunks that he likes pretty well. So I heat them up and then cool them down. He squishes them with his fingers and spits the one I put in his mouth out. Great, sweet potatoes are usually our saving food. So I look around the kitchen and am reading labels, searching for something, anything to feed the grouchy boy. I suddenly smell something. I look up from the label I am reading and OH GOD NO! He has pooped and since he is sitting the poop has pushed out the top of his diaper. He is smearing it all over his highchair tray. Dear God NO!!!!! He just put a piece of yesterday's corn in his mouth. Gag, gag. Run to get the tray off. Gag, gag. Put the tray in the sink that has fresh green beans for today. Gag, gag. Pull the baby out of the chair and run him to the bath tub, holding him as far out as my arms can reach. It is everywhere. He is having loose stools because of the teething, of course. He is covered. I am covered. Gag, gag. Fight with the diaper and the now crying child. Get the diaper off and in the trash, but oops some of it smears on the wall as the diaper flips open. The baby is now screaming because he wants the water on. I turned the shower on to wash the stool off. Gag, gag. He has smeared it all over the sides and top of the tub. I am pulling toys out as fast as I can so they don't get dirty. He thinks the shower is interesting, but he can't really splash so that makes him mad. I got the most of it rinsed off so I turned off the shower and started the tub. I scrubbed him. Got him out and dried off. Thank God that is over. Oh wait, I still have to scrub the poop off the wall, out of the tub, out of the kitchen sink, off the highchair tray, out of the highchair. And the baby is still hungry.

I want my freaking newspaper...