Tomorrow is my last regular day. I'm on call, of course. I still have to work Saturday and Sunday call too. But this is sooooo hard! I cried I don't know how many times today. I am trying to get all these ends tied up and it is hard. I'm not being given time to do it, of course. At least today a coworker agreed to take my coordinator duties. That makes me feel better. She has never done it before but there was once a day that I hadn't done it as well. She has a lot to learn but there are other people there to help her which wasn't the case for me. Plus, things are in pretty good shape for her as I leave. I feel much better about leaving. She will do a good job. Plus, it isn't like I am leaving the planet and I can always help her from a distance. I just wish I had a bit more time to try to teach her a few things. There are lot. I need to get some stuff signed off on the person I am, well, I guess I was orienting. As much as I have complained, I am very sad. I will miss this place, it feels like home. My current boss is already setting up meetings for me at my new job. I almost had to walk away from her today and tell her that I still needed to do my job at hand before I could move on.
I am feeling tons of anxiety about my new job. My clothes haven't come yet. I ordered them on the eleventh from a store and I was told NO PROBLEM!! I keep hearing about all the problems they are having getting things done between the office and the areas he works. The nurse that is there right now is ready to jump ship I am told and isn't sure she can wait for me to get there. Sweet!!! It sounds like the major problem is a scheduling issue with associated communication issues. Good news is that scheduling is something I DO understand. I understand this process well. Or at least I have a much better understanding than she has and I know all the people involved in the process. I know all the steps it takes to get something done that people don't realize happen. What I don't know is the office stuff. So, hopefully, she will be there to teach me that and then the other part I can work out. I believe this person is supposed to cover for me while I am on maternity leave so she can't leave now!! I am not feeling confident. People keep telling me that I am a person that gets things done. It doesn't seem like that to me but I hope I can get this done. I hope I can learn what I need. I hope I haven't made a mistake.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Oh boy
Wow, has there been a lot going on. Well by boss came up with another job for me. A unit manager position opened up for one of our other units. That would be the equal of my charge nurse (unit manager) that has been, well, we've gone there in the past. There are a couple of issues with this. I have never worked in that department. I haven't done that job. How am I supposed to be the manager??? The other women in the department have been there for years. They would have to teach me how to do the job. Does that make sense? Only one of them wants to work full time. I think she should have the job. I wouldn't be opposed to going and working there as one of the nurses, but if that job was posted (as it would have to be) there would be much more qualified applicants than me. The second thing there would be a pay raise involved, but that would be because of the increased duties! Ok, if someone wants to pay me more that would be great, but it isn't because I want to have to do any more responsibilities. I don't need MORE responsibilities and I mean a lot more.
Last Monday I told my coworkers I was leaving at meeting where my boss could be there to say she tried to keep me. No one said anything at the meeting. It took a bit for people to start saying anything to me about it. There were only two people that made bitchy comments to my face and they weren't even that bad it was just the presentation. They wanted to know how I found out about that job. I was honest and told them I was told there would be a job and applied when it became an opening and told them it was open for at least four weeks. That hushed them up. One of them even asked me later if I needed an assistant because she would go with me. Really, people have been very understanding. I have cried a freaking ton this week. People keep taking me aside and telling me how much they will miss me and how no one will ever do my job as well as I can. I had to tell each of the doctors that I specialize with and that was hard. I couldn't talk to them much because of the tears. They all understood. Who better knows how hard it is to be on call with a family than an OB doctor? The doctor who was supposed to have delivered Jake was so nice. He gave me a hug and told me not to worry. Maybe we wouldn't get to work together in surgery anymore but I wouldn't be leaving him behind. He would be my boss now. He was teasing me but actually he was telling the truth. He is the president over combined group of offices. So it is true.
Anyway, I have had many people say many nice things. It is hard. I feel like I am leaving a great big family. There are some nasty uncles and CRAZY cousins, but overall it is a good family. So this week begins my last and that will be hard. My last full week. My last weekend. I have already worked my last late shift (not sad). Of course my last call - the whole two days of it next weekend. I won't miss that either. But I am sad. It is making it very hard to try and get excited about a new job and a new opportunity. I really wish I had a few days off before starting. Some time to reset. But that isn't how it works, of course, so I will jump in and not dwell.
I have been working hard to tie up loose ends. I have been writing many many many emails telling people that I am leaving. I got a very nice message from one of my reps. He told me what a good job I did as a service coordinator and that I could easily step into that role at a larger hospital and that he hopes that I am able to go back to it someday. That is always a possibility sometime in the future. I have had many people tell me that I am welcome to come back (except my boss). I still have a lot to do and I hope I can get it all done. My charge nurse isn't being too terrible, but she is giving me some big assignments and that makes it hard to try and get the other things I need to get done. Our department has a meeting tomorrow and I am hoping to find there is someone else willing to take on my service because I have things I need to pass on. I have been doing what I can with the offices and reps and stuff, but they want another name. I don't blame them. Someone has to do the job.
So this week is going to be harder than last. But, I will make it. Oh, plus last week was my birthday and that is always hard for me. Mike did a pretty good job with that. He didn't get me my shoes I really wanted but I will get them eventually.
Last Monday I told my coworkers I was leaving at meeting where my boss could be there to say she tried to keep me. No one said anything at the meeting. It took a bit for people to start saying anything to me about it. There were only two people that made bitchy comments to my face and they weren't even that bad it was just the presentation. They wanted to know how I found out about that job. I was honest and told them I was told there would be a job and applied when it became an opening and told them it was open for at least four weeks. That hushed them up. One of them even asked me later if I needed an assistant because she would go with me. Really, people have been very understanding. I have cried a freaking ton this week. People keep taking me aside and telling me how much they will miss me and how no one will ever do my job as well as I can. I had to tell each of the doctors that I specialize with and that was hard. I couldn't talk to them much because of the tears. They all understood. Who better knows how hard it is to be on call with a family than an OB doctor? The doctor who was supposed to have delivered Jake was so nice. He gave me a hug and told me not to worry. Maybe we wouldn't get to work together in surgery anymore but I wouldn't be leaving him behind. He would be my boss now. He was teasing me but actually he was telling the truth. He is the president over combined group of offices. So it is true.
Anyway, I have had many people say many nice things. It is hard. I feel like I am leaving a great big family. There are some nasty uncles and CRAZY cousins, but overall it is a good family. So this week begins my last and that will be hard. My last full week. My last weekend. I have already worked my last late shift (not sad). Of course my last call - the whole two days of it next weekend. I won't miss that either. But I am sad. It is making it very hard to try and get excited about a new job and a new opportunity. I really wish I had a few days off before starting. Some time to reset. But that isn't how it works, of course, so I will jump in and not dwell.
I have been working hard to tie up loose ends. I have been writing many many many emails telling people that I am leaving. I got a very nice message from one of my reps. He told me what a good job I did as a service coordinator and that I could easily step into that role at a larger hospital and that he hopes that I am able to go back to it someday. That is always a possibility sometime in the future. I have had many people tell me that I am welcome to come back (except my boss). I still have a lot to do and I hope I can get it all done. My charge nurse isn't being too terrible, but she is giving me some big assignments and that makes it hard to try and get the other things I need to get done. Our department has a meeting tomorrow and I am hoping to find there is someone else willing to take on my service because I have things I need to pass on. I have been doing what I can with the offices and reps and stuff, but they want another name. I don't blame them. Someone has to do the job.
So this week is going to be harder than last. But, I will make it. Oh, plus last week was my birthday and that is always hard for me. Mike did a pretty good job with that. He didn't get me my shoes I really wanted but I will get them eventually.
Sunday, May 02, 2010
tough week
So I handed my resignation to my boss last week and she folded it up and gave it back to me. We talked for over an hour and she tried to come up with a way for me to stay. She brought my charge nurse in and well, it seemed like it went okay. I don't really want to leave is my problem. I have been so sick all stinking week. What do I do? I have worried and fretted. I mean I know I am really not looking forward to the change in the work situation. I mean I know I can learn the job but I don't want to have to learn everything new. Especially right now with a new life joining us.
So I have been thinking, trying to decide. I didn't exactly like what my boss had to offer. She wanted me to immediately come out of a room and work with our aides. Last summer a nurse was put in charge over the aides to help that horrible situation. I don't have a stinking clue what she does. She had surgery several weeks ago and is still to be out for several more weeks and then comes back with lots of restrictions because she hasn't been able to put any weight on her leg at all. She has extensive rehab to go. Whatever. I don't want to do her job. I have been helping the aides as much as I can and I recognize that they really do need someone there giving them guidance. I'm not it. Anyway, her offer was to do this until I need to go out for the baby. It is a complete change from the last time I was pregnant. I mean she wants me to be able to take it easy and if I need to cut back I can. Well, I would come back from maternity leave as a casual employee but I could work as much as I want. However, if there isn't a need then I don't work. That is a problem. That is a huge problem. Right at this moment I could truly work everyday but that could change. As a casual employee, you don't work late shifts, you don't have to work weekends, and you don't take any call and you don't work any holidays. You can say that you don't want to work and they can't schedule you. You don't get benefits but you make a higher wage. I don't need the benefits (I can still contribute to my retirement account). But if they don't need you you don't work. Of course they are far from being in that position but I would need to work at least seven out of ten days to keep paying the bills. That is a lot. That would mean that I would have to cross train to most of my sister units and hope and pray they use me too. Mike says we could make this work because I wouldn't have to go through as much change. However, I know my coworkers. This would not go over well. It didn't go over well when the nurse was put in this position last summer and now to add me? Right! I offered to continue in my current position until I went out and then come back casual after the baby is born. Nope, that isn't what she wants. (there is a little benefit to me to come back casual. You don't get to keep your PTO's because you can't use them as a casual employee so I get to use them all up before I come back. That would mean I could take more than twelve weeks off!!!)
Okay, so I have talked to my boss many times this week. She has a position she is trying to create next year and she wants me to do it. It would be full time and so forth, but she doesn't know when it will be open. So I would have to hold on with the casual until that job is open. I'm sure the hospital is going to try to push it off as long as possible. It is a needed/required job but they can put it off until June, July, October, whatever. So that means holding on with an unknown income until then.
I appreciate that she is willing to try to keep me. She really wants someone around that can step into the charge position if my manager gets sick (that happens fairly often, right). I don't want to. It used to be the nurse that is over the aides now that did that and boss won't let that happen anymore. I don't want it to be me. I don't like running the show. The show is a mess!
So, as much as I really don't want to leave, I am going to give my resignation back to her tomorrow. Maybe she will consider me for the other position if my new job doesn't work out. I am concerned that the doctor won't be here for long. I think that is a reasonable concern having watched what happens over the years. He is a hospital employee so there is some obligation there. He does have a contract, but I'm sure he has a lawyer too. I have heard how excited they are to have me starting soon. I ran into one of the three office managers (that is a problem) today and she was thrilled. They can't wait to see me the 24th, I was told.
So now it really happens. Now my coworkers will know that I am leaving and the nastiness can begin. It is now only three weeks that I will have to put up with it. The boss did hire a traveling nurse but my coworkers thought it was to help with the problem we already have, not to help cover my shifts. At least the traveler will allow the person I am orienting to be able to finish her time to be ready to be out on her own. I just have so much stuff to do before I go. I feel bad about that. I didn't get much done this past week because I was too stressed out trying to figure out what I was going to do. That and I worked a shit load. I had a 20 hour day. That alone should help me decide to leave right??
So I have been thinking, trying to decide. I didn't exactly like what my boss had to offer. She wanted me to immediately come out of a room and work with our aides. Last summer a nurse was put in charge over the aides to help that horrible situation. I don't have a stinking clue what she does. She had surgery several weeks ago and is still to be out for several more weeks and then comes back with lots of restrictions because she hasn't been able to put any weight on her leg at all. She has extensive rehab to go. Whatever. I don't want to do her job. I have been helping the aides as much as I can and I recognize that they really do need someone there giving them guidance. I'm not it. Anyway, her offer was to do this until I need to go out for the baby. It is a complete change from the last time I was pregnant. I mean she wants me to be able to take it easy and if I need to cut back I can. Well, I would come back from maternity leave as a casual employee but I could work as much as I want. However, if there isn't a need then I don't work. That is a problem. That is a huge problem. Right at this moment I could truly work everyday but that could change. As a casual employee, you don't work late shifts, you don't have to work weekends, and you don't take any call and you don't work any holidays. You can say that you don't want to work and they can't schedule you. You don't get benefits but you make a higher wage. I don't need the benefits (I can still contribute to my retirement account). But if they don't need you you don't work. Of course they are far from being in that position but I would need to work at least seven out of ten days to keep paying the bills. That is a lot. That would mean that I would have to cross train to most of my sister units and hope and pray they use me too. Mike says we could make this work because I wouldn't have to go through as much change. However, I know my coworkers. This would not go over well. It didn't go over well when the nurse was put in this position last summer and now to add me? Right! I offered to continue in my current position until I went out and then come back casual after the baby is born. Nope, that isn't what she wants. (there is a little benefit to me to come back casual. You don't get to keep your PTO's because you can't use them as a casual employee so I get to use them all up before I come back. That would mean I could take more than twelve weeks off!!!)
Okay, so I have talked to my boss many times this week. She has a position she is trying to create next year and she wants me to do it. It would be full time and so forth, but she doesn't know when it will be open. So I would have to hold on with the casual until that job is open. I'm sure the hospital is going to try to push it off as long as possible. It is a needed/required job but they can put it off until June, July, October, whatever. So that means holding on with an unknown income until then.
I appreciate that she is willing to try to keep me. She really wants someone around that can step into the charge position if my manager gets sick (that happens fairly often, right). I don't want to. It used to be the nurse that is over the aides now that did that and boss won't let that happen anymore. I don't want it to be me. I don't like running the show. The show is a mess!
So, as much as I really don't want to leave, I am going to give my resignation back to her tomorrow. Maybe she will consider me for the other position if my new job doesn't work out. I am concerned that the doctor won't be here for long. I think that is a reasonable concern having watched what happens over the years. He is a hospital employee so there is some obligation there. He does have a contract, but I'm sure he has a lawyer too. I have heard how excited they are to have me starting soon. I ran into one of the three office managers (that is a problem) today and she was thrilled. They can't wait to see me the 24th, I was told.
So now it really happens. Now my coworkers will know that I am leaving and the nastiness can begin. It is now only three weeks that I will have to put up with it. The boss did hire a traveling nurse but my coworkers thought it was to help with the problem we already have, not to help cover my shifts. At least the traveler will allow the person I am orienting to be able to finish her time to be ready to be out on her own. I just have so much stuff to do before I go. I feel bad about that. I didn't get much done this past week because I was too stressed out trying to figure out what I was going to do. That and I worked a shit load. I had a 20 hour day. That alone should help me decide to leave right??
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